Top 5 Mistakes Lawyers Make When Networking

You need to invest time and effort into the right people.

NetworkingHave you said to yourself, “Why am I not getting any business from this group I joined?” Or how about, “Why aren’t people referring work to me?” For many lawyers, networking is a mystery, wrapped inside a riddle, surrounded by a conundrum. Well, my friends, you’ve come to the right article today. My goal is to unravel this problem for you and provide actionable steps to get you the results that have been evading you these many years. Here are the five questions you probably want answered.

1. Am I In The Right Place With The Right People? 

Before venturing out and joining any old group, take a few minutes to identify who you actually want to meet with. You should be focusing on two primary groups. The first is prospective clients, and the second is strategic partners. For example, if you are a defense-side employment attorney, your clients are probably HR people, CEOs, and GCs. Your strategic partners may be plaintiff-side employment lawyers, commercial litigators, and HR consultants. Therefore, you may want to look for groups where these people go, like SHRM (Society for Human Resources Management) or the American Payroll Association. The higher-level players, like CEOs, may be involved with charities or boards. The point here is to fish where the fish swim and avoid places that are riddled with competition.

2. I Joined A Group And Showed Up, So Where’s The Business? 

Some “networkers” believe that paying a bill to join a group and showing up equates to instant loyalty and lead generation from their fellow members. WRONG! Just joining a group doesn’t give you the right to ask for loyalty and referrals. YOU CAN’T BUY TRUST!!

Building relationships means investing time with people outside of the group meetings. Additionally, you must like and trust each other to feel comfortable referring. Take time to focus on the other person; ask a lot of questions so you know about their family life, hobbies, and passions. People want to feel understood and listened to, so center on that as a building block for next steps.

Just remember that no one will refer someone they don’t like or trust. So, ask yourself, do these people know, like, and trust me enough to refer their family to me? If not, you need to keep at it.

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3. How Do I Get My Networking Efforts To Actually Produce?

At the end of the day, there’s one thing that will separate you from the pack — it’s connecting and helping other people. I know this is hard and time consuming, but this is why I provided the first question. If you’re in a room with others who are in, or surrounding, your space, it’s easier to be a giver than it is to meet with a random group of people.

Additionally, you must give selflessly to others without demanding quid pro quo.  Helping others should be fun and karma building. Try to do this repeatedly with the right people and there’s a great likelihood that they will reciprocate. I’m also a big fan of coaching others to help me. For example, one might say “any lawyer could use FRETZIN.” I would coach people to find the most ambitious and open-minded lawyers they know or lawyers who are transitioning to a new firm. Coaching people to the right fit is half the battle when getting the best introductions made for you.

4, What If I’m Not Able To Give To Others?

Building and owning a strong network of professionals is critical when networking to get results. That being said, that’s not in the cards for many lawyers who are either just starting out or who have avoided networking throughout their career. I remember having to literally buy things from people to be a giver because I didn’t have a network to draw from. Let’s just say I had plenty of life insurance, bank accounts, and legal business contracts that I may not have needed.

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To avoid this and be a true giver, here’s a list of five things you can do, outside of providing direct business leads, which will help build stronger relationships.

  • Provide personal connections. Does your new friend new a new roof, a new dentist, or a college counselor for their teenager? Anything you can do to help someone on a personal level counts.
  • Connect them with potential strategic partners. As I shared earlier, getting people in front of their targeted referral partners can be a game changer.
  • Connect them with strong vendors. If you identify that someone needs help outside of direct business referrals, try referring them to someone you know who can directly help their business.
  • Invite them to an event. If you’re networking at conferences, events, or groups, invite your new friend to join you. Introducing new contacts with your internal networks goes a long way to building trust.
  • Comment and share their social posts. While this is not as good as the above-mentioned points, it does go a long way toward building a relationship. Sharing others’ posts with your audiences builds their brand and may lead to new business for them.

5, How Do I Know If This Group Has Run Its Course And May Be Time To Exit? 

Not every group or conference should last forever. They each have a shelf life that’s determined by the ROI coming out of the effort put in. Ask yourself, did I meet individually with the other members and help them selflessly? If not, you may need to double down on the group or conference and work smarter to change course, versus leaving prematurely.

Now, if you’ve made the proper efforts in a group and haven’t seen the return, it’s OK to keep the relationships that were developed and bail out on the rest. Be kind and grateful but recapture your time and focus elsewhere.

Take to heart what I’m telling you. It’s not rocket science, but it also isn’t easy. You need to invest time and effort into the right people to make this work. I hope this helps the folks who are feeling their efforts aren’t being fulfilled. Keep in mind, not everyone is a fit for everyone else. Focus on giving intelligently to the right people for the right reasons and things will come back to you in spades.

For more information about BE THAT LAWYER with FRETZIN, check out www.fretzin.com, or you can email me directly at steve@fretzin.com.


Steve Fretzin is a bestselling author, host of the BE THAT LAWYER Podcast, and business development coach exclusively for attorneys. Steve has committed his career to helping lawyers learn key growth skills not currently taught in law school. His clients soon become top rainmakers and credit Steve’s program and coaching for their success. He can be reached directly by email at steve@fretzin.com. Or you can easily find him on his website at www.fretzin.com or LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevefretzin/