Government

Republicans Scramble For A Legal Theory To Keep Harris Off The Ballot They Can Argue With A Straight Face

Well, at least we haven't reached the "hard R" stage yet.

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Democratic Presidential Candidates Attend Forum On Wages And Working People

(Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

After President Biden’s announcement yesterday that he is withdrawing from the presidential race, Democrats heaved a great sigh of relief at finally breaking out of the three-week-long news hellcycle. More than $50 million poured into Vice President Harris’s campaign coffers. Senator Joe Manchin spent seventeen minutes pretending that there was great outcry among the people for him to rejoin the Democratic party and assume its nomination. And then everyone pinky swore to stab anyone who mentioned a Celebrity Apprentice-style convention in the kidney. Even Aaron Sorkin woke up from that bender and disavowed his early morning decision to show us his whole ass, including that unfortunate tattoo of Mitt Romney’s face.

Over on the other side of the aisle, the prospect of a political party getting its house in order seems to have caught them flatfooted.

The former president is tweeting through the Kübler-Ross grief cycle.

Screenshot Trump Truth Social posts whining that Biden didn't really mean to drop out.

Republicans are spitting mad, with Laura Ingraham and Steven Miller discovering that usurping the will of the voters is bad now, actually, and demanding to vindicate the rights of the poor, benighted Democratic primary voter.

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They filled out circles! CIRCLES, LAURA!

Over at the Heritage Foundation they’re channeling Eli Cash, and pretending that their spiffy draft memo that talked about potential court challenges to a replacement nominee after the convention is still worth the pixels it was written on. Sure that’s premised on the theory that Biden is already the official nominee. But until 24 hours ago he was the presumptive nominee, and what if those things are the same?

Meanwhile Republican election lawyers are plotting to deprive the Vice President of access to the campaign war chest on the theory that she’s not the rightful owner of funds with her name on them — a theory so ridiculous it just might work in the Fifth Circuit.

And speaking of cope, Republicans have recently discovered the rule of “If you don’t run for re-election, your party is constitutionally required to 25th Amendment you.” No, no, don’t ask where it is in the Constitution. Just take Jonathan Turley’s word for it.

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In summary and in conclusion, the Vice President is either a spinster cat lady or a brazen hussy. And probably not a citizen. Also, Joe Manchin will not accept the vice presidential nomination. In case you were wondering.

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore where she produces the Law and Chaos substack and podcast.

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