To all 1L students at the University of Michigan Law School:
As many of you know, the Michigan Law Review writing competition will begin on May 7, 2025, and the application portal will close at midnight on May 25, 2025.
We are writing to offer advice on how you can use the personal statement to maximize your chances of winning a place on the Law Review, as well as undermine the law-review editors’ efforts to violate the federal- and state-law prohibitions on discriminatory race and sex preferences.
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You must always bear in mind that the purpose of the “personal statement” is to enable the corrupt law-review editors to award discriminatory preferences to women, non-Asian racial minorities, and homosexual or transgender students, in violation of Title VI, Title IX, 42 U.S.C. § 1981, and state anti-discrimination laws such as Proposal 2. You have a responsibility as future members of the bar to subvert these illegal actions. Here are some of the many ways in which you can do that, while simultaneously boosting your own prospects of winning a place on the Law Review through your personal statement:
(1) Take a DNA test and claim racial-minority status in your personal statement if you have at least the amount of minority ancestry that Elizabeth Warren’s DNA test revealed. Seehttps://www.factcheck.org/2018/10/the-facts-on-elizabeth-warrens-dna-test
(2) Claim that you are “African-American” regardless of what your DNA test reveals. Every member of the human race can truthfully claim African heritage because homo sapiens originated in Africa and later migrated to different continents. Seehttps://www.nytimes.com/2024/07/11/science/humans-neanderthals-out-of-africa.html
Last year, a white law-review applicant at an elite law school (not Michigan) claimed to have African heritage in his personal statement—as we all do—and he made law review. Of course, it is possible that this student earned his place on law review with his grades and writing-competition performance without any need for the diversity bonus that law reviews systematically award to black applicants, so there is no way to know for sure whether his claim about African heritage made the difference. But it certainly didn’t hurt.
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(3) If you are Asian-American or Jewish, or a member of any other demographic that is considered “overrepresented” on the Michigan Law Review, do NOT under any circumstance indicate this in your personal statement. Remember that the law-review editors are seeking to award discriminatory preferences to so-called underrepresented groups, so you will hurt your chances rather than help them by indicating your status as an Asian-American or Jewish applicant—even if your personal statement truthfully describes the anti-Asian racism or antisemitism that you have experienced or overcome.
You should instead find a creative way to describe your membership in one of these “overrepresented” groups without indicating or implying that you actually are Asian-American or Jewish. Last year, a Jewish law-review applicant at an elite law school (not Michigan) described himself as a “descendent of refugees from the Middle East” and he made law review. Try to think of similar ways to describe your status in a way that will elicit sympathy rather than resistance from the woke student editors who want to limit rather than increase the presence of “overrepresented” groups on the Law Review.
(4) Begin the process of gender transitioning before the writing competition begins May 7, 2025. If you are male, stop getting haircuts and shave your legs. If you are female, cut your hair short. Buy some clothes for the opposite sex and try them on. Wear them while you work on the writing competition.
Then write about your gender-transitioning experience in your personal statement. Write about how hurt you are by the Trump Administration’s policies and all of the transphobia that you have witnessed since President Trump took office. Write about all of the adversity that you have had to overcome because you can no longer get a passport with an “X” marker to indicate your sex.
After you submit your personal statement, you can always decide to detransition and revert back to living in accordance with your biological sex.
(5) Claim in your personal statement that you are sexually attracted to members of the same sex, regardless of whether you actually are. It is impossible for anyone to verify or falsify a claim of this sort. Use your personal statement to describe the adversity that you have had to face as a closeted homosexual. Complain about all of the homophobia that exists in society.
(6) No matter what, be sure to say in your personal statement that you have overcome adversity and provide anecdotes to this effect. Law-review editors (and university admissions officers) think they can evade the commands of federal and state anti-discrimination laws by claiming that they’re not really awarding discriminatory preferences based on an applicant’s race or sex (or sexual orientation or gender identity). Instead, they claim that they are awarding applicants from preferred demographics bonus points for having overcome “adversity.” So every applicant to the Law Review should talk about how they have overcome adversity in their lives.
Please remember that you must preserve any documents or communications related to your law-review application, as required by the litigation-hold e-mail sent on March 31, 2025.
Sincerely,
FASORP