Is there anything worse than a holiday office party? I can think of nothing less fun than spending several hours with colleagues at lunch or dinner or cocktails in settings outside of the office. For those like me, the whine is usually “Do I have to go?” Making an appearance even if you don’t stay very long is crucial.
Yes, you do need to show up, for the same reason that you need to appear in person in the office every once in a while. Matching the face to the work done is a smart idea. Employers frown on nonparticipation unless your reason for not attending is better than excuses such as your need to clean up your cat’s hairballs, an attack of last-minute Christmas shopping, and other similar lame reasons.
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If you say that “The court has ordered us back today this afternoon at 1:30. I have to be there,” or “This deal has to close this afternoon,” you should be excused from attending, but not always. Other than the last two, which are legitimate explanations for begging off (as long as you can proffer the reason with a straight face) you are doomed to spend several hours showing your holiday spirit, if you have any. Maybe not, given this year.
Enforced socializing, hanging out with others whom you normally would not spend a New York minute out of the office with, those you have nothing in common with except that the same employer’s name is on all the paystubs … blech.
Booze at these parties? If employers are smart (and there’s plenty of evidence in case law and elsewhere that some managers/supervisors may be two branches short of a Christmas tree or a Hanukkah bush) there would be no imbibing of any booze during such festivities (and I use that term advisedly). There are way too many reported cases of employees enjoying themselves too much in inappropriate ways. Manners matter.
Free food, free booze (if it is served) can be too tempting for many of us mere mortals. When there’s free-flowing booze at holiday parties, there is more than just temptation, there are events with potential consequences. Do EPLI carriers need to be on standby or even attend?
At some office parties, attendees are expected to dress appropriately for the time and place. At others, just showing up suffices. If there is a meal — and often there isn’t — just appetizers and drink, it’s more likely that attendees will make a brief appearance, long enough to see and be seen, and then skedaddle. Excuses like “I promised to be home by X time,” or “the kids have [insert kind] practice and what with traffic, I am going to be later than promised,” or the best one, at least for ingratiating purposes, “I need to get back to the office to finish drafting the motion that I know Partner A wants to read tomorrow.” This, of course, is said not necessarily in front of Partner A but within earshot.
And how about those “Secret Santa” exchanges? Does anyone else find them as cringe-inducing as I do? Watching colleagues snatch gifts from each other has never been a favorite spectator sport of mine.
Don’t stand in a group of your colleagues and talk about yourself. Not only does no one want to hear it, they probably already know about it, having heard about it at the coffee bar, or whatever today has replaced the “water cooler” as the hub for gossip and conversation. No one enjoys hanging out with a narcissist, so if you see everyone drift away, get the hint so that they don’t have to get the hook.
Finally, be on your guard with what you say and with who’s listening. I never thought that would be something we citizens had to fear, but with the first year of 47’s second term coming to a close, you can’t be too careful. Just as “loose lips sink ships,” (was that term in use before our current Secretary of Defense aka War?) anyone’s behavior, comments, social media, and the like are now grist for being included on a list of “domestic terrorists.” I wish I was making this up, but I am not. Instead of Santa checking whether someone has been naughty or nice, this list now will allow our federal government — yes, yours, mine, and ours — to reward citizens who rat on others to identify purported acts of domestic terrorism. Please STFU. An arrest may suffice for doling out reward bucks. I am not kidding.
Will we become a nation of informants? Something to worry about in the new year? Remember Spy vs. Spy in Mad Magazine? This makes me want to have a drink, but not at an office holiday party.
Jill Switzer has been an active member of the State Bar of California for over 40 years. She remembers practicing law in a kinder, gentler time. She’s had a diverse legal career, including stints as a deputy district attorney, a solo practice, and several senior in-house gigs. She now mediates full-time, which gives her the opportunity to see dinosaurs, millennials, and those in-between interact — it’s not always civil. You can reach her by email at [email protected].