Pat Cipollone (Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images)
Former White House Counsel Pat Cipollone’s moment in the sun has arrived.
That’s not entirely fair. He was a pretty big deal in Biglaw circles when he was a partner at Kirkland, and politicos are very familiar with him from, ya know, being White House Counsel. But the spotlight was never quite as bright as during Cassidy Hutchinson’s testimony on Tuesday to the January 6th Committee.
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You know the drill by now. The Committee’s surprise witness was the aide to White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows and she testified in stunning detail about the unhinged end of the Trump administration. But one of the most memorable lines (I mean there were *so* many good lines, but this certainly makes the highlight reel) Hutchinson testified to was what Cipollone said to her the morning of January 6th.
Trump desperately wanted to march to the Capitol with his army of Proud Boys, but Cipollone was equally desperate to make sure that didn’t happen. Saying to Hutchinson, “Please make sure we don’t go up to the Capitol, Cassidy. Keep in touch with me. We’re going to get charged with every crime imaginable if we make that movement happen.”
Every. Crime. Imaginable.
During Tuesday’s hearing, Liz Cheney said, “We think the American people deserve to hear from Mr. Cipollone personally.” And now the wheels are in motion for that to happen. The January 6th Committee has issued a subpoena to get the former White House Counsel to testify.
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But one of the hidden gems that gives me a chuckle during the hellscape of life in the United States rn is this Twitter thread from Merrill Markoe documenting every time during Tuesday’s hearing that closed captioning tried to spell Cipollone’s name. Spoiler alert: they got exactly none of them correct.
Here are some of my personal favorites:
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Before you start worrying that this is a little too close to Eye-talian bashing, don’t. WASP-y as they come Mike Pence also got a raw deal from closed captioning.
My pens. LOL.
Honorable mention goes to this attempt by the cc software to address the dangerous situation the Vice President found himself facing. pic.twitter.com/HxggX6TE1I
— Merrill Markoe (@Merrillmarkoe) June 29, 2022
Now, I said it before, but I’ll say it again, check out the full thread for all the butchering of Cipollone’s actually-not-very-difficult-to say-or-spell name. Maybe if he does actually testify, close captioning will finally get it right.
The Jan 6 hearings were once again amazing, stunning and magnificent. In a related story, because it is my responsibility and my job, I have recorded the valiant attempts made by the closed-captioning software to spell Pat Cippolone. pic.twitter.com/5lLSkZnjvm
— Merrill Markoe (@Merrillmarkoe) June 28, 2022
Kathryn Rubino is a Senior Editor at Above the Law, host of The Jabot podcast, and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. AtL tipsters are the best, so please connect with her. Feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments and follow her on Twitter (@Kathryn1).