Law Schools, Lunacy, Ridiculousness

T14 Law Student Expects You To Answer 185 Crazy Questions To Join His Elite Club

Which law school sanctioned this lunacy?

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Gunners, please pay close attention. One of the best law schools in the country has a new student group that’s perfect for all of the overachievers out there who think they’ll be able to change the world as soon as they’re lawyers. It’s a club meant only for people who want to “identify and solve major global problems” and “enact meaningful change that will benefit humanity for generations to come.”

If you’d like to join the club’s elite membership, you’ll have to go through a series of rigorous steps, including a lunch interview with the club’s president. You’ll also have to respond to a lengthy series of interrogatories — 185 of them, to be precise — that feature very important questions like the following:

  • Estimate your IQ and that of seven other people.
  • List all of your dreams that you can remember, and approximately when they occurred.
  • List every emotion that you have or have not experienced and can think of.

That’s just a taste of the ridiculousness you can expect if you try to join this club. Which law school sanctioned this lunacy?

It seems that Georgetown Law’s Office of Student Life greenlighted The Actually Going to Try to Change the World Club as an official student group earlier this semester. Better known as AGaTe or AGaTaKeToWaK on campus for only God knows what reason, its founder, a first-year law student, sent out this extremely colorful and barely intelligible email on September 16, shortly after the semester began:

We’re very sorry if you were blinded by that, but as you know, this is a very serious club. Perhaps your eyes were just not prestigious enough to bask in the glory of AGaTe’s color-coded recruitment email.

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Like any serious club dealing with serious matters, AGaTe has an official constitution, or rather, a Supreme Constitution. Here’s an entertaining provision about the club’s presidential succession — and yes, we’ll remind our readers that someone from Georgetown Law’s administration signed off on this nonsense:

Line of Succession for the Presidency is determined by the closeness of birthday of the Executive Councilmembers born in even years to 11/17, 7:11:17 in military time, followed by Executive Councilmembers born in odd years sorted by length of nose, with the longest first.

If you think you have what it takes to become a member of AGaTe, you probably don’t. We’re willing to bet that almost no one could get through AGaTe’s membership interrogatories without giving up. Come on, how can you be trusted to bring about world peace if you can’t name 17 different kinds of berries?

Here are some more of the hard-hitting questions that can be found in AGaTe’s interrogatories:

  • List 43 areas of your expertise.
  • Discuss seven things that you would really rather not.
  • Physics? Chemistry? Biology? Linguistics? Cooking? Dancing? Singing?
  • Do you prefer to do things slowly or quickly? Do you like writing? Are you meticulous? Are you detail-oriented? Are you quick? Are you tone-deaf? What do you care about when you cook? What do you look at when you are at the store? Do you care about money? Do you care about fame? Do you care about having children? Would you like to have a clone? Would you like to be a superhero? Do you welcome responsibility?
  • Why don’t you like Lady Gaga right now?
  • Are you [a] racist?
  • Estimate the length of your nose and that of seven other people.
  • Are you lazy? Stupid? Compare yourself to seven other people?

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You can peruse all 185 insane interrogatories on the next page. You will not be disappointed.

Georgetown Law students are having trouble trying to figure out if AGaTe’s leader is just a troll, or if he expects people to take him seriously. One of our tipsters says he leans “heavily towards [AGaTe’s Supreme Leader] being completely serious.” In that case, all we’ve got to say is wow.

We’d like to wish this fellow good luck in changing the world, but it seems like the first order of business where he could use some luck is in filling out patient in-take forms at a psychiatrist’s office.

(Flip to the next page to see the AGaTe membership interrogatories in all of their laughable glory.)

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