Morning Docket

* Snoop and Master P suing Post and Walmart for sabotaging their cereal brand. You’ve got to eat something when the ladies in the livin’ room leave at 6 in the morning. [Law360]

* Taylor Swift threatens the same incredibly stupid lawsuit that Elon Musk did. [CNN]

* Some firms are laying people off. Other firms are seeing epic profit boosts. Arnold & Porter is the latter kind of firm. [American Lawyer]

* School shooter’s mother convicted of manslaughter. Not sure vicarious liability is going to lead anywhere good. [Reuters]

* This isn’t exactly news, but Donald Trump’s fundraising sent millions to fund lawyers for his failkids. [Business Insider]

* Elon Musk is funding Gina Carano’s lawsuit against Disney because he’s willing to underwrite anything anti-Trans at this point. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Elon University begins admitting law students in Charlotte. [WBTV]

* California can continue to enforce its ammunition background check law while the Ninth Circuit ponders constitutionality of the common sense regulation Chris Rock outlined 25 years ago.

* NLRB rules that Dartmouth basketball players are “employees” of the university. Continuing to go out there while sitting at the bottom of the Ivy League is the very definition of a job. [Front Office Sports]

* DOJ seeks new documents from Ticketmaster amid allegations that the company is deliberately failing to cooperate with investigation. This sets up a possible grand irony: Ticketmaster having to pay tacked on fees. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Federal Circuit appears inclined to preserve 4 decades worth of precedent. See Supreme Court? It is possible. [Law360]

* ABA remains “ultimate resource” for lawyers declares ABA as it raises its dues. [ABA Journal]

* The power of streaming turned Suits into a hit years after it went off the air. Now it’s getting a spinoff. [LegalCheek]

* Kentucky prosecutor convicted of trading legal favors for sex as the profession’s resistance to alternative fee arrangements continues. [Law.com]

* The secret to beating Elon Musk in $55 billion pay package case? Letting the jury hear Musk’s side of it. [Wall Street Journal]

* Proskauer settles fight with former COO in trade secrets fight. Now he’ll be free to share such gems as “bill more” with his new firm. [Law360]

* Man sentenced for impersonating NBA star to get fake medical payments. “To ruin people’s reputations… for wealth is really something,” said Judge Seybert… accidentally describing just about every billionaire’s path. [ESPN]

* Harvard Law School will join Yale and Stanford in offering some full tuition scholarships to low-income students. While an admirable move in a vacuum, just be wary if a school with an endowment in the billions starts saying “we didn’t charge 20 of you, so that’s why it’s so important that we raise tuition 185 percent on the rest of you.” [Reuters]

* Ethics complaints filed against judges for encouraging firms to give oral argument opportunities to younger and more diverse advocates. It’s the same group suing NYU on behalf of white students not smart enough for law review so as you can imagine their quarrel isn’t really with the “younger” part. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Police arrest Killer Mike after winning three Grammys. [Deadline]

* Tex McIver, the Biglaw partner who shot his wife and blamed it on Black Lives Matter, may soon be released from prison. [CNN]

* We all knew Goodwin was still laying people off — but now they’ve issued a statement about their “performance” cuts. [American Lawyer]

* Trump apparently lost his mind when he realized Alina provided lunch during his deposition. Very stable genius and all that. [CNN]

* Disney appeals that loony Judge Winsor opinion in the DeSantis case. [Deadline]

* Texas Supreme Court justice skipped half its arguments to go campaigning. You know… you can do those events at night, too. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Fifth Circuit cuts back bias award. [Law360]

* For second time in its history, Harvard Law Review elects a Black woman to presidency. Which right-wing activist group will sue first? [Reuters]

* Congress needs to take action on civil forfeiture reform… example #473684. [Forbes]

* Bar exam passes on ExamSoft. [Reuters]

* Trump judge dismisses Disney lawsuit against DeSantis explaining that Disney lacks standing because DeSantis has already caused so much damage that there’s really just no way to fix it. Galaxy brain thinking all around. [NPR]

* Former NRA lawyer throws boss under a bus. [ABA Journal]

* Harvard Law School fails to teach students that Singapore is not part of China. [Huffington Post]

* “Trump: Any Lawyer Who Represents Me Is Either a Patriot or ‘CRAZY.’” True. [Daily Beast]

* Are these the salad days for associates? [Bloomberg Law News]

* Biglaw offers mixed response to Generative AI. [American Lawyer]

* Elon Musk’s Tesla pay package careens into wall and catches fire. [Axios]

* Might we have seen the last of Alina? [Newsweek]

* Apparently it annoys lawyers to be treated like children. [American Lawyer]

* Another lawyer thought ChatGPT was a legal research tool. [Reuters]

* Trump donors seem to have paid $50 million in legal fees last year. [Huffington Post]

* High school debaters make great lawyers. [New York Law Journal]

* Someone involved in the “fire university presidents for anti-Semitism” hearings finally figured out that Amy Wax exists. Welcome! You have such a journey ahead of you! [Law.com]

* We’re actually having a fluoridated water debate? In the year of our Lord 2024? [Bloomberg Law News]

* After losing not one, but two trials before Judge Kaplan, Donald Trump now argues that the fact both the judge and Carroll’s attorney are Paul Weiss alums should nix the verdict. [Reuters]

* Alex Murdaugh will not get a new trial. [NY Times]

* Texas wants to take the corporate law crown from Delaware. [Financial Times]

* Marilyn Manson ordered to pay Evan Rachel Wood’s legal fees. [Rolling Stone]

* IRS whistleblower sentenced to 5 years for his public service. [Courthouse News Service]

* American Lawyer asked top firms how they’re using AI in their practices. The answers are mostly mundane except for one that read “our attorneys are overwhelmingly pleased with our AI integration END OF LINE.” [American Lawyer]

* The still anonymous NYU Law School white male 1L suing over law review acceptance policies now seeks class status on behalf of other students too dumb to make law review. [Reuters]

* David Kenner gets one year of probation for leaking confidential evidence from the Pras Michél case. [Daily Beast]

* US asking cloud companies to investiate foreign clients as part of bid to stay ahead of China’s AI. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Legal thoughts on Florida State’s spat with the ACC. [Tampa Bay Times]

* There’s a shortage of prosecutors and it’s becoming a problem for defendants. [ABA Journal]

* Sadly, Charles Fried has died. [NY Times]

* Rudy raises a million from big donors for his legal defense. Given what he charges for Cameo, I’m scared of what he must have to do on camera for these guys. [CNBC]

* SEC decides that doing an end-run around going public doesn’t excuse SPACs from regulation. [National Law Journal]

* Alabama unveiled its new, “painless” death penalty technique. As a witness put it, prison officials “were visibly surprised at how bad this thing went.” [Reuters]

* A look at the NCLA. Because sometimes you just want to sell a bunch of asbestos baby pajamas and who’s the federal government or “cancer” to tell you no, amirite? [Bloomberg Law News]

* Another firm followers Slaughter & May in employing Big Brother to get associates into the office. [Roll on Friday]

* Congrats to American Lawyer’s new editor-in-chief! [American Lawyer]

* Alina Habba likely avoids malpractice claims… because Trump’s case is already a loser. Small miracles! [Business Insider]

* Biglaw needs to confront how it offers feedback and chart a course somewhere between, “fine… I’m too busy for this” and “you’re fired and you’re also ugly.” [American Lawyer]

* Greg Abbott vows to ignore Supreme Court ruling in bid to earn elusive 9-0 defeat. [The Hill]

* Maybe Abbott wouldn’t be forcing another wasteful appellate process if the justices would just explain themselves. [Balls and Strikes]

* Fifth Circuit grants qualified immunity despite law enforcement taking several months to plot malicious prosecution against journalist. [Reuters]

* Mainstream media as shocked by Supreme Court clerkship bonuses as everyone else is. [Washington Post]

* Biglaw makes bigtime real money off fake money. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Supreme Court’s “faithless elector” case may open backdoor to election tampering by state legislatures. [ABA Journal]

* New push for the Supreme Court curb “two-step” bankruptcy abuse. But the company behind the tactic, which shields a company from legal liabilities by allowing it to spin those to a new entity that then declares bankruptcy, throws such wonderful parties for Clarence Thomas and the gang so it’s probably safe. [Reuters]

* In-house work is now a non-stop geopolitical compliance obstacle course. [Corporate Counsel]

* Ninth Circuit considers California assault weapons ban. Just a reminder that the trial judge in this case terrorized a crying child for kicks and has yet to face any repercussions. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Starbucks union orders up financial disclosures. [HuffPo]

* Solicitor who spent a month in prison for researching a case while on jury duty now suspended for 8 years.[LegalCheek]

* Charges dropped in case of a Dallas lawyer’s murder. [ABA Journal]

* Law firms should keep profit focus on the down low if they want to keep the team happy. [American Lawyer]

* Supreme Court rules 5-4 that Texas can’t implement its own immigration policy. Would be really interesting to hear WHY four justices thought the Supremacy Clause was mere puffery, but they didn’t issue any opinions because of course they didn’t. [Washington Post]

* Florida backtracks from plan to use taxpayer funds for Trump legal defense fund after Ron DeSantis suggests he’d veto it. Besides, he needs that money to keep paying lawyers to lose to Disney. [Politico]

* First Circuit blesses Mexico’s lawsuit against American gun manufacturers marketing high-powered weapons to cartels. [Reuters]

* Generative AI complicates attorney-client privilege when it asks the client “hey, I gotta ask if you did this because, hoo boy, you wouldn’t believe the last guy’s answer.” [Bloomberg Law News]

* Meanwhile, legal challenges to generative AI like to characterize it as regurgitating copyrighted work. But is that metaphor a hallucination? [Legaltech News]

* Supreme Court agrees to hear wrongful conviction case where state supreme court wants to go through with death penalty, while the prosecutors want the conviction overturned. [ABA Journal]

* Lawyer disciplined for stealing ambulance and driving it 60 miles, which is objectively cooler than commingling client funds. [ABA Journal]

* Donald Trump “may testify” in E. Jean Carroll case. Which should read “may further add to damages.” [Reuters]

* No origination credit? How will I profit off my colleagues’ work? [American Lawyer]

* DOJ investigations into Jim Crow murders keep failing to result in prosecutions. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Had to follow “my compass” says Joe Tacopina of leaving Trump’s legal team. And by “compass” he means “tired of being upstaged by an incompetent garage lawyer and starting to fear the bills wouldn’t get paid.” [<a href="https://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/amp-video/mmvo202561093983” rel=”noopener” target=”_blank”>MSNBC]

*Now Sidney Powell’s LAWYER faces disciplinary charges. [Forbes]

* Alec Baldwin facing new charges in film set shooting. [Yahoo]

* Billing rates are up, but expect write-offs to go up too. In fact, firms might end up making less when it’s all said and done. Somehow I have faith that Biglaw will find a way to turn a profit. [American Lawyer] * Law firm installs slide in office. Look, working from home is great […]

* Lawyer sentenced 4 to 23 months for trading representation for sex acts. Yet again the billable hour triumphs over alternative fee arrangements. [ABA Journal]

* Things look bleak for Chevron, soon-to-be toppled by a literal red herring. [Slate]

* Supreme Court also considered whether a pure omission amounts to securities fraud. [Bloomberg Law News]

* In the UK, Conservatives launch negative campaign against Labour leader for having been a lawyer. [LegalCheek]

* Fifth Circuit blocks Texas book ban. [NBC News]

* Private equity practices poised for growth as dealmakers embrace the end of the-little-recession-that-couldn’t. [American Lawyer]

* Bill Barr’s new law firm adds a bunch of the other former White House lawyers who pushed back against the insurrection making them “too disgraced from working with Trump for most firms… not quite disgraced enough to work for a firm that could ever work for Trump again.” Good luck in that niche. [Reuters]

* Supreme Court to hear argument over fishing regulations, but it’s just a red herring for the justices to destroy Chevron. [Bloomberg Law News]

* When Eric Adams decided to beat back the federal corruption probe into his fundraising by doing more fundraising, there was concern that the identity of the donors might make things worse for Adams. Let’s see… “billionaire businessman with ties to sanctioned Russian oligarchs”? Perfect. No notes. [NY Daily News]

* E. Jean Carroll team notes that Trump’s continued to constantly defame ever since he lost the case and asks jury to consider how much money it would take to make him stop. [Business Insider]

* Court to decide proper standard for giving fired union advocates their jobs back. The workers are in venti trouble. [ABA Journal]

* Fake nudes could become real crime. [WSJ]

* Multiple billion+ energy and infrastructure deals last week for Kirkland and Akin. [American Lawyer]

* Brazil’s courts leaning into AI to deal with court clog. [Law.com International]

* Firms offering black box partner comp really hope senior lawyers aren’t competitive high-achievers who might care about their self-worth or anything. [American Lawyer]

* Joe Tacopina leaves Trump legal team. But he’ll always have the good times to look back on. [Reuters]

* Security risks to federal judges on display as Trump’s followers phone in threats. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Judge says law professor paying his benchslapping to a charity didn’t meet the terms of the sanction order. [ABA Journal]

* Supreme Court set to decide if cities can crack down on homeless population. Unlikely to go well for homeless. [Guardian]

* Chicago Bears general counsel out. Coaching that finished at the bottom of the division still there. [Law.com]

* Funniest lawyer in New Jersey running for governor. [Gothamist]

* Elon’s admitted drug use combined with rumors that he showed up to a company meeting on drugs have raised insurance issues for his board. [Bloomberg Law News]

* While we’ve seen some Biglaw firms make big ticket real estate splashes, many have figured out the basic hoteling strategy that the rest of corporate America embraced years ago. We’ve been advocating this for a while now. [Law.com]

* Bids to get Trump kicked off state ballots aren’t necessarily the work of Democrats. A profile of the conservatives pushing to invoke the Fourteenth Amendment. [Reuters]

* AI hallucinates when asked legal questions… writes The Hill roughly a year after everyone else figured that out and months after the big players in the space announced products to avoid this. Starting to understand why NYTimes Pitchbot has a “no The Hill” policy. [The Hill]

* Prince estate continues to be fraught with conflict eight years on. [Variety]

* Judge in Trump’s civil trial receives bomb threat. Probably because he wouldn’t let Trump bomb his own closing. [Daily Beast]

* Bob Menendez hires Jones Day lawyer from McDonnell team that got the Supreme Court to functionally legalize public corruption. Hope the firm likes being paid in gold bars. [Politico]

* Ron DeSantis keeps on losing. Today it’s the Eleventh Circuit ruling that, as governor, he cannot just fire local officials from office. Next week it’s Iowa.  [Reuters]

* Bankruptcy partners charging up to $2400 per hour. No wonder the client went bankrupt. [American Lawyer]

* Ohio law requiring parental consent to obtain a social media account blocked like it was an anti-vaxx high school acquaintance. [CNN]

* Biglaw may have failed to recognize as clients began sending some work elsewhere. Probably too busy rolling around naked in piles of cash to notice. [ABA Journal]

* The mass exodus from Fisher Broyles suggested that fully distributed firms carry instability along with their promise. This piece carries that idea further and suggests that it’s the faster evolution of these firms as a concept that holds seeds of any one entity’s destruction [Bloomberg Law News]

* Here we go again. Rates increase, clients say they’re going to give the work to more cost effective firms, this lasts until someone gets skittish about not using Cravath, everything goes back to normal. We’re apparently now in stage 2. [American Lawyer]

* FTC paying cash prizes for people who can figure out how to stop voice cloning. [Corporate Counsel]

* Most law firm associates were women last year… [Reuters]

* … and therefore white dudes who can’t get firm jobs are lining up to sue. [Bloomberg Law News]

* The Supreme Court ruled in favor of Jewish family whose painting got looted by Nazis. The Ninth Circuit decided to still not give it back. [LA Times]

* Disneyworld as law enforcement tool. [The Hill]