Ed. note: This is the latest installment in a series of posts on motherhood in the legal profession, in partnership with our friends at MothersEsquire. Welcome Ashley Starling to our pages.

I work with my husband.  I love it.  Sometimes it is easier to work with my husband than to be married to him.  I know this sounds odd, but things are often simpler at work.  The kids are at daycare and school.  The chaos of home remains at home.  At work, we are just there hustling, talking, and collaborating.  We respect each other’s strengths and visions, and we occasionally get to sneak in a lunch date.  We have a temporary distraction from dishes, laundry, and chauffeuring to evening activities.  However, getting to work is not so easy.  The dance of teeth brushing, breakfast making, bus stops, and Disney music commutes is exhausting.  I sometimes long for an early morning in the office where my first cup of coffee will actually remain hot until its last drop.  But this is the life we built, the life we love, and we would not change it.

I am a mother of two children, ages two and six.  I am a partner in a small law firm with 11 lawyers.  I manage a busy, high-volume personal injury litigation practice.  At the time in which I started this practice, I was pregnant with my first child.  My husband was at a large law firm.  Life was hard. When I found out I was pregnant with my second child, my husband and I began to prepare for his Biglaw exit to join me in the entrepreneurial life.  My husband now runs a high-volume labor and employment practice.  While we have more flexibility, the entrepreneurial rollercoaster is chaotic and unpredictable. Thankfully, we are not the only husband-wife team at our firm.  Our founding partners are also married.  Their mentorship and insight have been crucial in keeping us sane.  Here are my favorite tips.

Buy Your Time.  This was the first piece of advice my then-boss gave to me when I began building my practice.  It is the best advice.  Time is a limited and precious resource.  If you are too busy, hire staff.  Clarify your vision; have others help you implement it.  Pick the kids up early.  Go on the school field trip.  Leave work before six.  Give someone else a job and spend the extra hours enjoying your children.  Staff is even more crucial in the event of an unexpected emergency or illness.  Quit trying to do everything.  Hire help.

Sunday Power Hour.  While our schedules are subject to change, my husband and I sit down for a planning session on Sunday nights.  We determine our workout times, the drop-off/pickup schedules, the nightly chauffeuring, and quick dinner options.  This also forces us to look at our work schedules in advance of Monday so we can manage our workflows better.

Utilize Technology.  Technology is a gift.  Use it. Both my husband and I are completely mobile.  Our offices consist of only a tablet.  (He is working from home as I write this.)  On our busiest day of the week, I work from home so that I can tend to childcare needs.  I use that day as my drafting day.  My phone is connected to my tablet.  Clients call me, and I answer from my Bluetooth headset.  This allows me to be home when my son gets off the bus, and it lets me catch up on little tasks while still being connected to the office.  It also allows me to log on at night to complete any work I did not get to during the regular working hours.

Geographic Location is Key.  Our daycare is located less than a half mile from the office.  We can leave the parking lot and be at the daycare in two minutes.  Our pediatrician is on the next street.  Location is so important.  When there is a last-minute change or an after-hours emergency, we can walk out of my office at 5:55 p.m. and be inside the daycare by 6:00 p.m.  Because we are so close, we can go back to the office with the kids, if needed.  If one of the kids has a check-up, one of us can leave for the appointment, drop-off, and be back in less than an hour.  By eliminating additional commutes, we are more efficient during our days.

Lunch is a Luxury.  While we may occasionally sneak out of for lunch, we usually eat at our desks while we work.  I would rather have the additional hour in the morning for hugs and the commute.  Our office phones are shut off during the lunch hour.  An hour of uninterrupted work is worth three hours with constant breaks and calls.  Because we are more efficient, we can leave earlier.

Working Late.  My husband works better in the office when he is writing.  I actually prefer to be at home.  In order to help balance the responsibilities, we both get to choose a night when the other is “on-duty.”  This is chosen during Sunday Power Hour.  The on-duty parent is responsible for pick-up, dinner, and the bedtime routine.  If working late one night means we can be on time during the other days of the week, it is a fair trade-off.

Lighten Up.  We all mess up.  I am hard on myself when I do.  But I should lighten up too.  This past year, my son attended kindergarten in our district and went to his daycare for private kindergarten on the off days.  We messed up the bus schedule a few times.  It happens.  Both my husband and I have forgotten whose day it was to pick up from daycare and had to regroup.  We all get caught in traffic coming back from meetings.  We beg family for help during trials.  We get aggravated.  Some days, all we can manage is to make sure our kids have on clean clothes, feel loved, and eat something from a drive-thru.  I’ve been to court with spit-up on my suit.  I have taken depositions on two hours of sleep, knowing one of my kids is getting sick.  I have given my kid ibuprofen on the way out the door, hoping to make it until lunch before I get the sick call.  And it is okay.

The toddler tango is hard. Finding the right dance partner is imperative. Smart scheduling helps.  A sense of humor and some wine helps too.

Earlier: Mothers At Law: Achieving Meaningful Success In The Legal Profession

Ashley Starling is a partner at the firm Willis Spangler Starling in Columbus, Ohio.  She is trial attorney focusing on car and trucking accidents, wrongful death, catastrophic injuries, and animal attacks.  Ashley is an active member of the Ohio Association for Justice and a board member of the Trucking Safety Section.  More about her can be found on her website and LinkedIn.  She can be reached by email at astarling@willisattorneys.com.