affluenza

This isn't the first time since the "affluenza" trial that Couch has gotten into trouble.

Everyone remembers Ethan Couch, right? Well, he's out, so let the terrible media takes begin again.

* “You’re not getting out of jail today.” Affluenza teen Ethan Couch has been sentenced as an affluenza adult to serve four consecutive 180-day terms for each person who was killed in a fatal drunken-driving car crash he caused in 2013. The judge may reconsider Couch’s sentence in two weeks. [NBC News]

* Who will be the next chair of Baker & McKenzie? Four prominent partners have put their names forward to compete for the title. This would be much more entertaining if it were a Biglaw ladder match where we could watch Paul Rawlinson, Gary Senior, Claudia Prado, and Eric Lasry fight for the shiniest brass ring of them all. [Big Law Business]

* If only law schools had more clinical opportunities for future corporate drones: Law schools have offered students more chances to perform public interest work, but this law professor worries schools are “inculcat[ing] law students with a responsibility of social justice that reflects the morality of the faculty and administration.” [WSJ Law Blog]

* “It doesn’t cry out as a triable case.” Andrew Caspersen, the high-flying Harvard Law grad charged with a $95 million fraud scheme, likely won’t face trial. His lawyer says that he thinks his client’s criminal case will be resolved within the next 60 days. He thinks the case will end in a settlement with the SEC. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Sources say that Donald Trump’s campaign manager Corey Lewandowski will not be prosecuted for battery after an incident with former Breitbart reporter Michelle Fields following a press conference in March. Apparently the Palm Beach County State Attorney’s Office has a “higher standard to go forward with a prosecution.” [POLITICO]

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Staci Zaretsky is an editor at Above the Law. Feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments. Follow her on Twitter or connect with her on LinkedIn.

* The cynical reality of the coming constitutional fights. [Eric Posner]

* It doesn’t look like the Supreme Court will stop North Carolina’s redistricting order. [Politico]

* Can Chief Justice Roberts save the Court from partisan politics? [New Republic]

* The First Amendment even applies to lawyers with blogs. [Consumer Law & Policy Blog]

* The perfect way to make sure you are in compliance with every law and regulation, according to Professors Dan Solove and Woodrow Hartzog. [SSRN]

* Affluenza teen grows up! Ethan Couch will be tried as an adult. [Gawker]

* David Lat tells you how to take control of your career. [Legal Talk Network]

* “This is, since the recession, the most robust job growth we’ve seen.” Nearly all students who worked at Biglaw firms this past summer as associates received offers of full-time employment. Offer rates haven’t been this high in more than a decade. [National Law Journal]

* Mommy, wow! I’m a big kid now! Affluenza teen Ethan Couch was finally deported from Mexico and booked into a juvenile detention center. Today, we’ll see if he’ll be moved to a big-boy jail, and in February, we’ll see if his case is moved to the grown-up court system. [Associated Press]

* Sorry, Hillary Clinton, but President Obama has no desire to be on SCOTUS. According to White House press secretary Josh Earnest, while Obama “would have plenty of ideas for how he would do a job like that,” he “may have other things to do.” [The Hill]

* It’s so hard to get execution drugs that Mississippi Attorney General Jim Hood is asking state legislators for alternative methods for carrying out death sentences, like death by firing squad, electrocution, and hanging. Seems reasonable? [Reuters]

* Arizona is so eager to kill people it hired Alston & Bird to go up against the Food and Drug Administration in the state’s quest to obtain the release of a shipment of execution drugs that it had imported to the country from India this summer. [BuzzFeed News]

* Everyone was under the impression that Dickstein Shapiro and Bryan Cave would be tying the knot by the year’s end, but instead, it looks like their brief love affair has turned into a bad romance. Oh no! Will Dickstein Shapiro be left at the altar? [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* “The idea they own the name ‘blue’ for a manual for legal citations is ridiculous.” A rival citation guide to The Bluebook will be released in 2016, using the name “BabyBlue.” Since a Biglaw IP attorney is involved in the copyright clash, this is already more exciting than techciting. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Ethan Couch, the Texas teen who was too rich to realize his actions had consequences, was apparently also too rich to realize he shouldn’t hide out in a ritzy vacation locale in Mexico while on the run from police with his mother. Damn you, affluenza! [CNN]

* If you’re looking for a law firm where you can take time off whenever you want and still earn a healthy paycheck, then look no further than Ashton KCJ Lawyers in England. That’s a perk we’re sure attorneys in the U.S. would love their firms to adopt. [Mirror]

* Annie, get your gun: Gun-toting Texans are going to have a very happy new year, because come January 1, 2016, the state’s new open carry law will go into effect. The open carrying of handguns had previously been banned in the state since 1865. [RT]

* Jeffrey Feulner, founder of the Men’s Divorce Law Firm, was charged with domestic violence battery after he allegedly attacked his wife. She filed for divorce three days later — and presumably used a more woman-friendly lawyer as counsel. [Orlando Sentinel]

Probation was apparently too difficult for this delicate little snowflake.

* It’s only been two weeks since Charlie Sheen’s HIV reveal, and the lawsuits are already starting to roll in. The actor’s ex-fiancée is suing him for big bucks and claims he failed to disclose his status to her before having unprotected sex, which is a felony in California. [Deadline]

* When you somehow avoid jail time by asserting an improbable “affluenza” defense after killing people in a drunk-driving wreck, it figures that your downfall comes via tweet. Start out your day by checking out the video of “ya boy ethan couch [allegedly] violating probation.” [Dallas Morning News]

* Remember the law prof who was banned from SUNY Buffalo Law’s campus for allegedly violating its workplace violence policy and then sued the former dean for defamation? A judge has recommended that the case be dismissed. [Buffalo News]

* Biglaw attorneys are descending upon the 21st annual Conference of the Parties (COP 21), because after all, they’ll be able to entertain clients with tales about the legalities of renewables to cut greenhouse gas emissions. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* Law school admins are confident the number of applicants will increase, and while fee waivers still abound, pre-law students are expecting the cycle to be “competitive.” A pulse AND the ability to sign loan docs will now be required. [Daily Pennsylvanian]

My crusade to make the flu illegal.

* The NAACP Legal Defense Fund took to Twitter to name every unarmed person of color killed by the police since 1999. Gawker compiled short bios on each. [Gawker]

* Texas planning to ban the “affluenza” defense. [Lowering the Bar]

* Pillsbury just moved into a cozy little office. Emphasis on “little.” [The National Law Journal]

* Georgetown Law students of color raise similar concerns as Columbia students. Again, I don’t understand emotional trauma and I definitely think extensions should be measured in days and not weeks, but it strikes me all the people complaining about the extensions are just exposing themselves as bad students. If you think your neighbor getting 2 more days will hurt your grade, you’re the one with the studying problem. [Georgetown Law Coalition]

* And now Harvard. [Harvard Law Coalition]

* If you rent a refrigerator, you consent to an arbitrator hearing your case after a repairman robs and beats you. Sounds about right. [Public Justice]

* Uber ban after rape allegations. [Redline]

* The Supreme Court told BP that no matter how much it tried, it can’t slip out of its settlement agreement like an oil-soaked seagull. [Think Progress]

* Finally, in the wake of the Eric Garner case, it’s worth looking back at what Justice Marshall told us about police chokeholds. [Mother Jones]

The Affluenza controversy was messed up enough. Now the kid's lawyers are trying to use another kind of privilege to keep his diagnosis from coming up in a civil case.

Probation for a child rapist? Is this an adequate sentence?

* The feds say that Apple has agreed to pay “at least $32.5 million in refunds” to people who didn’t realize their children were racking up huge bills in FarmVille and the like. It’s good to see parents won’t actually have to pay for their absentee parenting. [Washington Post] * It’s a good day for successful — kind rapey — pop songs, as the family of Marvin Gaye decided that they “Got to Give It Up” and settled with Sony over alleged copyright infringement by the Robin Thicke song, Blurred Lines. [Rolling Stone] * Apparently the Florida Bar Association took a look at the state of the judicial system and decided to screw it and start selling baking utensils. Or it was hacked. But probably they just gave up. [IT-Lex] * Tailgating at the Yale-Harvard game is way more dangerous than I’d realized — a clutch of Yale frat bros (what is the proper collective noun for Elis) have been sued over an incident where a U-Haul loaded down with kegs struck and killed one person. [Jezebel] * A hearing was cut short in New Orleans when an inmate arrived from the prison high as a kite on illicit drugs he procured in custody. Way to run a tight ship, New Orleans. Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on them. After all, they just got their “inmates unintentionally set free due to clerical oversight” statistic back down to zero. [New Orleans Times-Picayune] * A rundown of high-profile cases that turned on expert witnesses. Good to see that everyone’s favorite “affluenza” made the list. [The Expert Institute] * Cable news has really botched their coverage of Little Sisters. For example, if you think Obamacare requires religious institutions to offer coverage for contraception, then you’ve been duped. [Constitutional Accountability Center] * To shake things up, let’s check out a defense of stop-and-frisk policies. If a society isn’t prepared to pay for police protection, it’s likely to find cops resorting to these sorts of short cuts. [Voice of San Diego] * Musings on Staci’s recent piece on law firm client service and/or arrogance. [Law and More] * A Little League coach is suing one of his players for $600,000. Something tells me a reboot of Bad News Bears would end exactly like this. Video of the story from local news channel KCRA embedded below…. [Deadspin]

* Hughes Hubbard & Reed is doing its part to help fulfill wishes made in children’s letters to Santa at a time when the Post Office’s Operation Santa program is in desperate need. So to all you other Biglaw firms, the ball’s in your court. [USA Today] * Judge Timothy Black cited Justice Scalia’s dissent to reject Ohio’s gay marriage ban. I’m sure this is a cite that warms the justice’s heart. [Associated Press] * Professor Pam Karlan is off to become Deputy Assistant Attorney General for Voting Rights. Here’s the last article of the preeminent voting rights expert in her old role as a commentator at the Boston Review describing strange SCOTUS bedfellows. Good luck in the new job! [Boston Review] * Good news for Florida lawyers! The Florida Bar has revoked its opinion banning LinkedIn endorsements and recommendations. Go back to patting each other on the digital back. [IT-Lex] * Realtors are getting sued for using a home as a sex pad. Strangely enough, this isn’t even the first time we’ve talked about this at Above the Law. [New York Magazine] * Do you have to work over vacation? Probably, but it’s worth researching. [TaxProf Blog via Corporate Counsel] * We shouldn’t have been so surprised by the affluenza defense because North Texas is basically one big monument to the concept. [New York Times] * Here’s an infographic showing the most popular TV show set in each state. What legal shows make the list? [Business Insider] * The top 10 most ridiculous lawsuits of the year. Apple porn guy clocks in at a mere number 10? Outrage! Bigger outrage: they ultimately link to the HuffPo write-up of… the original Above the Law piece. Why no direct link, hm? Video embedded after the jump… [Faces of Lawsuit Abuse]

* The Grinch goes to court to get some legal redress. Dr. Seuss really is all about the law. [NPR] * How much bulls**t is wine appreciation? This guy is in trouble for selling fake wine to so-called experts for years and they never noticed. [Gawker] * Is this really the most likely scenario after you graduate with a law degree? [Law School Lemmings] * Congratulations to Eric Schneiderman for successfully getting fired Domino’s workers back on the job. Living up to the New York’s AG’s new “If You Don’t Get Justice In 30 Minutes, It’s Free” promotion. [Daily Kos] * Celeb lawyer saves kid from getting bowled over by Chicago Bulls. Amazingly, the Knicks were able to take this guy’s lead and actually won a game. [TMZ] * Creating fake Linkedin accounts to make your competitor seem like it’s really a foreign company. Well, that’s one way to compete. [IT-Lex] * Folks who’ve been watching the Ninth Circuit’s en banc proceedings have asked why Judge Gould appears by video. The reason is that Judge Gould has multiple sclerosis and works from his home base in Seattle. Here’s an awesome profile of the judge. [United States Courts for the Ninth Circuit] * Elie joined Non-Sequiturs all-stars Jessica Mederson of Legal Geeks and Kevin Underhill of Lowering the Bar on Legalese It! with Mike Sacks. They discussed the D.C. Circuit, India’s new anti-gay law, and the affluenza case. The video after the jump…

Instead of blaming the kid for killing four people, can we figure out a way to blame the parents?

* Beware of “affluenza” — the condition where rich kids believe that their wealth shields them from consequences. One kid with affluenza was convicted of four counts of manslaughter and got… probation. Great way to teach him that there are consequences. I don’t doubt being a hyper-privileged douche contributed to his criminal behavior, but let’s see if the judge is equally lenient to the next kid in this courtroom who argues that poverty contributed to his crimes. [Gawker] * In America people complain about law reviews sharing outlines for free. In the U.K., they’re selling notes on eBay. If you’re buying notes off the Internet, perhaps law school isn’t your bag. [Legal Cheek] * Do Twitter mentions reflect the scholarly significance of a professor’s articles? No. [TaxProf Blog] * Here's some terrifying stuff that lawyers want for Christmas. It's not quite our gift guide. [The Spark File] * The word "spin" is apparently trademarked. This is the company that did it and enforces its trademark against gyms with uncertified spin classes. [Racked] * Law school applications are in free fall. Too bad all these people are going to miss out on that sweet $1 million law degree. [Lawyers, Guns & Money] * Mental health remains a seriously undiscussed problem in the legal industry. [Law and More] * TSA now confiscating prop guns off stuffed animals. [Lowering the Bar] * A Chinese law professor lost his job for writing an article advocating constitutional rule. If you think this is a harsh response, remember this government used to throw tanks at people over less. [Washington Post] * Speaking of China, next month the CBLA is hosting a panel discussion about the expanded use of the FCPA, specifically with regard to China. [CBLA]