Becker & Poliakoff

* Yikes! Thanks to its expensive legal battle with Hulk Hogan — one that’s been revenge-financed by tech billionaire Peter Thiel to the tune of millions of dollars — Gawker Media is exploring a possible sale of the company and has hired Mark Patricof of Houlihan Lokey to provide financial advice. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Maybe Harvard Law grads are a like Carrie Bradshaw after all — except their degrees cost more than their shoes: In addressing Harvard’s 2016 grads at the Law School’s Class Day, Sarah Jessica Parker of Sex and the City admitted she had no idea why she was chosen as a speaker, and said she initially turned down the offer. [Harvard Crimson]

* Alan Koslow, formerly of Becker & Poliakoff, resigned yesterday after he was charged in a federal money-laundering conspiracy scheme. Koslow’s charge is the result of a three-and-a-half year undercover FBI sting. He faces a maximum of five years in prison and a $250,000 fine. We may have more on this later today. [Orlando Sun-Sentinel]

* “Oracle shouldn’t ‘own’ programmers simply because they had taken the time to learn Java.” Google escaped an almost $9 billion copyright lawsuit with the help of a jury that concluded the tech giant had made fair use of Oracle’s Java programming language in the creation of its Android operating system for its phone business. [Big Law Business]

* Closing the gender gap, one job at a time: The OnRamp Fellowship, a program that pairs female lawyers who want to return to practice with the nation’s top firms in the hope of receiving an offer at the end of their one-year stints, has now expanded to in-house legal departments. Congratulations on your excellent work. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Remember Kent and Jill Easter, the married lawyers who planted bags of weed and pills in the car of Kelli Peters, a PTA volunteer at their son’s school? Kent’s law license was suspended, Jill was disbarred, they’re now divorced, and to top it all off, a jury recently awarded Peters $5.7M in her case against them. [Orange County Register]

* The horror! The horror! Not only did Marco Rubio get his ass handed to him during this weekend’s Republican debate, but it turns out he’s accused of having been a law firm lobbyist for Florida firms Becker & Poliakoff and Broad and Cassel. [BuzzFeed News]

* A proposed ABA resolution that local bar groups think has to do with non-lawyer ownership of law firms — they’re not entirely sure, of course — is making the hair stand up on the back of attorneys’ necks. What could possibly go wrong? [WSJ Law Blog]

* Career alternatives for attorneys law school deans: David Yellen, dean of Loyola Law – Chicago for more than a decade (and former ATL columnist), will be leaving the law school game to assume the presidency at Marist College. [Poughkeepsie Journal]

* Applications may be down at Yale Law School when compared to prior years, but administrators aren’t exactly concerned about it. Come on, get real: It’s Yale, and the law school “still [has] more qualified applicants than [it] can accept.” [Yale Daily News]

* According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the legal profession celebrated the New Year by shedding 1,400 jobs. Don’t worry, 2016 graduates, there’s still a chance the job market could improve, but we’ll have to wait it out. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* Miriam Cedarbaum, longtime federal judge of the S.D.N.Y., RIP. [New York Times]

* It’s Alito time, bitch! If you were wondering about any of the cases in which the justice recused himself last year, his latest financial disclosure report is quite telling. [Blog of Legal Times]

* Yet another appellate court has ruled that Obama’s recess appointments to the NLRB were unconstitutional. Alright, we get it, just wait for the Supreme Court to rule. [TPM LiveWire]

* Hey baby, nice package: With stock awards soaring, general counsel at some of the world’s largest companies had a great year in 2012 in terms of compensation. [Corporate Counsel]

* NYU Law professors want Martin Lipton of Wachtell Lipton to swallow a poison pill and step down from the school’s board of trustees over his ties to the University’s unpopular president. [Am Law Daily]

* Now that they’ve stopped acting like the doll they were arguing about in court, MGA has put aside its differences with Orrick to amicably settle a fee dispute in the Bratz case. [National Law Journal]

* Who needs to go on a post-bar vacation when you can take a vacation while you’re studying for the bar? This is apparently a trend right now among recent law school graduates. Lucky! [New York Times]

* A man puts assets into his pin-up wife’s name on advice of counsel, she files for divorce, and the firm allegedly takes her as a client. This obviously happened in Florida. [Daily Business Review (sub. req.)]

* David Schubert, the deputy DA who prosecuted Paris Hilton and Bruno Mars, RIP. [Las Vegas Sun]

* You think you know Justice Clarence Thomas, but you have no idea. Here are several myths about the silent Supreme Court star that he was capable of busting in just this term alone. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* According to the CBO, the immigration reform bill being considered in the Senate would allow eight million immigrants to gain legal status and lower the deficit by billions. But alas, dey still terk er jerbs! [NPR]

* Google is doing its best to try not to be evil by asking the FISA court to ease up on gag orders preventing the internet giant from telling the world about what it’s required to give to the government. [Washington Post]

* Florida firm Becker & Poliakoff will withhold 20% of equity partners’ pay, a move that made some lawyers cry. The firm is apparently planning to save the cash for a rainy day. [Daily Business Review]

* Paul Mannina, an attorney with the Labor Department charged with sexually assaulting a coworker, was found in his cell with his throat slashed. Police are investigating the death. [Washington Post]

* FYI, your aspirational pro bono hours — or complete and utter lack thereof — will now be public record in New York, and you must report them on your biannual registration forms. [New York Law Journal]

* Coming soon to a law school near you: really old books from the 13th century that’ll probably turn into dust if you dare try to read them. You can find this nerdgasm over at Yale Law. [National Law Journal]

* The family of Lauren Giddings, the slain Mercer Law graduate, has filed a $5 million wrongful death suit in federal court against accused killer Stephen McDaniel in the hopes of finding her remains. [Telegraph]

* Yeah, about that huge bonus we were going to pay our ex-finance director — we realized how silly that was, so we’re not going to do that. Aww, don’t worry, Dewey & LeBoeuf, you’ll have plenty of other chances to look absurd. [Am Law Daily]

* Not only is Samsung suing Apple for patent infringement, but the company is also trying to get a do over by getting Judge Lucy Koh to throw out the original billion-dollar verdict over jury foreman Velvin Hogan’s alleged misconduct. [Bloomberg]

* “Small deals are easier to swallow, easier to integrate.” Regional firms like Carlton Fields and Adams and Reese are gobbling up smaller firms in what seems to be the latest trend in law firm merger mania activity. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* Douglas Arntsen, the former Crowell & Moring associate who had to be extradited from Hong Kong after embezzling $10.7M from clients, pleaded guilty in exchange for a lesser sentence. [New York Law Journal]

* It’s tough to come up with appropriate whistleblower jokes given the background here. We’ll play it straight: Mike McQueary filed a defamation suit against Penn State, and he’s seeking $4M in damages. [ABC News]

* Jose Godinez-Samperio, an undocumented immigrant, is fighting for the ability to practice law in Florida, but the members of the state Supreme Court are literally trying to make it into a “federal case.” [Washington Post]