Bryan Garner

Black's Law Dictionary has sure gotten colorful.

Nino and Me will appeal to readers who appreciate good writing on multiple levels.

That advice was just a bunch of argle-bargle.

Where do YOU come down on this hot topic in legal writing?

* In case you haven’t been keeping score like we have, these are the firms that recently raised salaries: Duval & Stachenfeld; Seyfarth Shaw; and Foley & Lardner. If you’re worried you’ve missed any of our coverage on pay raises, check out our omnibus 2016 salary chart where we collect these stories. [2016 Salary Increase / Above the Law]

* Lawyers are “the best-paid writers in the world,” so grammar god Bryan Garner suggests they emulate one of the greatest language snoots of them all: the late Justice Antonin Scalia. Garner identifies with Scalia’s textualism because “[he] believe[s] that words have meaning, and that we should take them seriously.” [Wall Street Journal]

* According to constitutional law scholar Dean Erwin Chemerinsky of UC Irvine Law, SCOTUS may be at a turning point since the next president will likely be able nominate up to four justices. “Whether you see yourself as conservative or liberal … this affects all of us, our most intimate and important aspects of our lives.” [Los Angeles Times]

* Lawyers for Led Zeppelin are seeking about $800K in costs and legal fees for their defense of the seminal rock band in the “Stairway to Heaven” copyright infringement suit. Peter Anderson, the band’s lead counsel in the case, claims that his $330 per hour rate is “actually below” the going rate for this caliber of high-profile work. [Ars Technica]

* Venezuelan authorities have arrested a woman connected to Mossack Fonseca, the firm at the center of the Panama Papers scandal, for allegedly being “in charge of seeking customers to invest illicit funds in outsourcing-type business arrangements.” She’s been charged with illegally obtaining funds in violation of banking regulations. [Reuters]

The noted legal writing expert offers insights for litigators who have already mastered the basics.

The best trial lawyers must learn to become excellent writers. Here are four principles for legal writing.

* Is Andrews Kurth facing a possible mega-malpractice judgment? If you know more, please drop us a line. [MahanyLaw]

* Elsewhere in Texas, a UT law student stands accused of leading an intimidation campaign against a professor of Israel studies. [Legal Insurrection]

* Advice from our columnist Keith Lee on how to write an excellent legal memo. [Associate’s Mind]

* Did Michigan prosecutors pressure the state’s crime lab to falsely classify the origins of THC the lab was testing? [The Intercept]

* An interview about interviews: Richard Hsu interviews Bryan A. Garner about Professor Garner’s famous series of interviews with Supreme Court justices. [Hsu Untied]

* Does your employer offer assistance with student loan repayment as an employee benefit — and should it? [Tuition.io]

Yes, it does—in four ways...

* In protest, the NYPD has adopted a policy of only making arrests “when they have to.” Shouldn’t that have been the policy all along? Maybe this petulant protest is a good thing after all. [New York Post]

* Michigan banned college athletes from unionizing. Which makes sense because this is an amateur activity that couldn’t possibly afford to pay the students taking risks on the field. In other news, on the exact same day the state of Michigan agreed to pay $5 million a year to the guy who will yell at those same kids. [M Live]

* Do you want a Bryan Garner Bobblehead? For charity? Of course you do. [Law Prose]

* Boies Schiller steps into the Octagon. [Yahoo! Sports]

* Lawyers are sneaking religion into court much more frequently these days. [What About Clients?]

* More fallout from the California Bar Exam results. [Bar Exam Stats]

* The D.D.C. declined to enjoin Abd Al Rahim Hussayn Muhammad Al Nashiri’s military commission trial. Professor Vladeck thinks this decision is dumb. [Lawfare]

* While we’re on the subject of law professors dissing dumb legal arguments, Professor Barnett has some real problems with Nebraska and Oklahoma trying to use Raich to sue Colorado. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

* Why the f**k should you care about net neutrality? Here’s why:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8bV8IhbRrQ

* “[I]t’s hard to find anybody as handsome as Antonin Scalia.” Some would beg to differ, but as it turns out, legal scholar Bryan Garner can brown-nose with the best of them. [WSJ Law Blog]

* For the third year in a row, Cooley Law graduates have mostly failed the July administration of the Michigan bar. So much for it being a “highly prestigious” law school. [Crain’s Detroit Business]

* In a lawsuit filed against real estate database Zillow, a former employee claims she was subjected to the “most heinous acts of sexual harassment imaginable” and “sexual torture.” That’s just lovely. [LAist]

* Law firm merger activity is still going strong as 2014 winds down to a close. Aside from big-name tie-ups like Bingham / Morgan Lewis and Locke Lord / Edwards Wildman, other firms like Verill Dana also had the urge to merge. [Am Law Daily]

* “Does it really surprise me? Not all that much.” University of Memphis School of Law students are on high alert during finals time after one of their own was almost robbed at gunpoint across the street from campus this week. Yikes. [WMC Action News 5]

* In case you’ve been sleeping under a rock, Above the Law’s managing editor, David Lat, wrote a book called Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link), and it’s been receiving rave reviews. If you dig clerkship lit, you should try to check it out. [National Law Journal]

* John Altorelli, the finance lawyer who allegedly had an affair with sexy Russian spy Anna Chapman, is indeed screwed — he’s the second former Dewey & LeBoeuf partner to file for personal bankruptcy in the wake of the firm’s collapse. [American Lawyer]

* Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who had a heart procedure on Wednesday, left the hospital yesterday and should be back on the bench on Monday. [CNN]

* Canada’s newest Supreme Court justice, Suzanne Cote, is no stranger to the spotlight; she’s worked on high-profile cases like the investigation into Justice Lori Douglas (of nude photo fame). [How Appealing]

* Michele Roberts, leading litigatrix and former Skadden partner, is settling into her new job as executive director of the National Basketball Players Association. [New York Times]

* Newly released deposition testimony from Bill Cosby will probably only worsen his PR woes. [Associated Press]

* Stuck in the office today with nothing to do? Take this fun exercise to test your punctuation and copy-editing skills, designed by Bryan A. Garner. [ABA Journal]

David Foster Wallace captured the vices and virtues of a certain type of reader, a certain type of writer, a certain type of mind.

David Lat interviews Professor Bryan A. Garner about the newest edition of Black's Law Dictionary.

You've angered Judge Richard Posner terribly. Not a good idea.

* When you think of professions likely to be menaced by armed maniacs, you don’t think of veterinarians. You’d be wrong. [Legal Juice] * Robert Ambrogi talks with Bryan Garner about the latest edition of Black’s Law Dictionary, including the fact that three new terms coined by David Lat made this edition. Let’s start the campaign for Appellageddon and SCOTocaplypse for next time around! [Robert Ambrogi's LawSites] * The ABA has appointed an all-star panel to study law school financing. By “all-star” they mean “all the people responsible for the status quo.” That’s how you do “reform,” guys. [Lawyers, Guns & Money] * A photo essay of people breaking the stupid laws on the books in various states. [The Phoblographer] * Law professors making a difference in the real world. Specifically, pushing the anti-smoking message. [PR Log] * A Seattle attorney pleads to 5 counts of third-degree rape to avoid trial over attacks on a series of massage therapists. He says he’s just a sex addict. The government says he was “kicking in doors, and pulling knives on them.” That sounds pretty extreme for a sex addiction. [Seattle Times] * Check out Elie talking about the ATL Top 50 Rankings, after the jump… [Mimesis Law]

* D.C. litigator Bruce Klores is living a double life as a Grilled Cheese restaurateur. He’s planning some politically-themed sandwiches, like the Boehner: “maybe if someone orders it, we’ll just say no.” [Washington Post] * Bryan Garner took to Twitter to announce that three neologisms by David Lat are joining Black’s Law Dictionary (affiliate link). Check out which terms made the cut for the 10th edition. [Twitter] * Oklahoma is chasing its proposal to ban all marriage with a bill to issue tickets electronically. Where’s the human touch of being harassed by the cops? [Overlawyered] * Here are the best suitcases for an overnight business trip. [Corporette] * We already pointed out that Quentin Tarantino is heading to court over the leaked script to The Hateful Eight. Here’s a quick rundown of the complaint. [IT-Lex] * A riveting account, by lawyer turned journalist Adam Teicholz, of the brutal murder that shook the gay community in a small Louisiana town. [Vanity Fair] * Crude oil is transported by rail, and those railroads have safety regulations. [Breaking Energy] * RIP Pete Seeger. I know he was a folk singer rather than a lawyer, but he wrote a song called “New York J-D Blues,” which sums up Biglaw in this town. [Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

The good justice is actually willing to compromise with people!

This federal judge tells off Bryan Garner, Justice Scalia, and Judge Posner in one paragraph.

Should "benchslap" be included in Black's Law Dictionary? And where did this delightful term originate?