Carl Icahn

Insider tweeting and insider trading.

In complex situations involving disclosure decisions and legal strategy as much as investment savvy, attorneys can play a key role.

Uncle Carl turned down The Donald in order to live his truth as 'Two-PAC.'

Crim Law exam features Fifty Shades of Grey prequel as fact pattern. [Legal Cheek] * You’d think being in jail would be a pretty good alibi. But that’s not the Chicago Way! [Overlawyered] * How many law professors have wished they could say this before? “Don’t give me any of your s**tty papers and you get an A.” [Critical-Theory via TaxProf Blog] * Lawyer powerlifting to raise money for mentoring programs. Because donating to charity is more fun when it comes with the risk of severe groin injuries. [Chicago Tribune] * U.S. News has a list of ways being a paralegal first can help with law school. It’s dumb. There’s only one reason paralegal experience helps and that’s to meet practicing lawyers and figure out whether or not law school is even worth it. [U.S. News] * In the past, Professor Nancy Leong was accused of narcissism. But she doesn’t seem to be attention-seeking at all based on this publicly posted shot. Maybe she can post that on Ashley Madison and see what happens… [Instagram] * Regulating imports could drastically improve labor conditions around the world (and potentially bring more jobs back home). But that could curtail profits by a smidgeon so let’s table that discussion. [Lawyers, Guns & Money] * A former AUSA on the Phil Mickelson/Carl Icahn insider trading case and wiretaps. [mitchellepner] * John Oliver made a powerful appeal to the Internet to take action in defense of Net Neutrality. If you want to know what you can do (or don’t even understand the issue) and laugh at the same time, the video is embedded below… [Huffington Post]

Ed. note: Due to the Presidents’ Day holiday, we will be on a reduced publication schedule today. We will be back in full swing tomorrow. We hope that you will enjoy your day off, but please feel free to lament your lack thereof in the comments.

* “[T]hey don’t want to hear nothing.” Vedel Browne, the man accused of robbing Stephen Breyer at machete-point while the justice was vacationing in his home in the Caribbean, now claims that he’s innocent, mon. [St. Kitts-Nevis Observer]

* You know what, the farmer in the Super Bowl commercial probably didn’t have to deal with bullsh*t like Monsanto’s seed patents, but today’s farmers do, and they’ll argue their case before the Supreme Court this week. [New York Times]

* “I’m a betting man. And I would bet and give odds that Sullivan & Cromwell has never said that publicly.” Who dares question S&C’s stance in the hot mess that is Herbalife? None other than Carl Icahn. [Am Law Daily]

* Here’s an important Biglaw math lesson that’s been provided to us via California-based firms like Irell & Manella, Munger Tolles, and Orrick: a little revenue minus a lot of partners equals profitability. [Recorder]

* Amid a flurry of filings on Valentine’s Day, love must’ve been a battlefield for the embattled Dewey & LeBoeuf refugees who were in desperate search of their once promised 2011 bonuses. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* From the department of things that suck: having to defend your office’s alleged “underhanded tactics” in a $150 million wrongful conviction case while you’re trying to get re-elected as district attorney. [New York Times]

* We got bitches in the office lawyerin’ on, and they ain’t leavin’ till six in the mornin’ — unless they want to be fired. An ex-Travers Smith trainee claims she was canned for leaving the firm “early”… at 6:30 a.m. [Telegraph]

* If it weren’t for Cosmo, this woman wouldn’t have known her landlord was an alleged creeper. A Maryland lawyer now faces criminal charges for allegedly filming his female tenants in the nude. [Washington Post]

* “We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious!” The ABA officially put Florida A&M on notice that its law school accreditation may be in jeopardy if they don’t shape up in terms of bar passage. [Orlando Sentinel]

* What do you do the second you step off a cruise ship that’s been described as “a floating toilet, a floating petri dish, a floating hell”? You grab the very first lawyers you see, and sue! [Nation Now / Los Angeles Times]

* PETA sends Bebe a cease-and-desist letter over fur-free advertising. To be honest, I only understood half of what I just wrote. [Fashionista] * Here are five reasons why editors hate lawyers. Of course, when the editors are lawyers, you just kind of end up hating yourself. [About Editing And Writing] * Can someone explain to me how it’s constitutional for Virginia to promise not to enforce laws? [Pilot] * Did you enjoy the South Park episode that involved proprietary towel technology? Then you’ll love this lawsuit! [Thomson Reuters News and Insight] * I asked Professor Rick Hasen whether or not I should self immolate to prevent the GOP from legally rigging the next election, and he’s telling me to chill out because it’s gonna be okay. [Slate] * I’ve been trying to find an excuse to link to this. It’s a guy who is blogging about news from 1913 as if it was happening in real time, in this technological environment. Here, we look at some very swift Southern-style justice. [Retro Pundit] * I must admit, I wanted to pull out my Leonardo DiCaprio coconut drinking goblet to fully enjoy this rich-white-man fight. [Dealbreaker] * Belated congratulations to Elbert Lin, aka Mr. LEWW, on his appointment as solicitor general for West Virginia. [Bench Memos / National Review Online]

Winston & Strawn has announced its associate bonuses. How are they looking?