Cocaine / Crack

* Our thoughts and prayers go out to the families, friends, and colleagues of the victims of the deadliest church shooting in modern U.S. history, which took place yesterday in Sutherland Springs, Texas. This is the second mass shooting in a little more than one month. [ABC News]

* The Russian election collusion investigation is just getting started, but lawmakers have introduced a nonbinding resolution demanding that special counsel Robert Mueller resign due to his “obvious conflicts of interest.” [POLITICO]

* “Jeff, you need to tell us everything you know about Russia.” Senator Lindsey Graham wants AG Jeff Sessions to testify again before the Senate Judiciary Committee about whether there were any arranged meetings between President Trump’s campaign and Russia. [UPI]

* According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the legal profession lost 1,100 jobs in October, which is depressing news for jobless law school graduates who just found out positive bar exam news. [American Lawyer]

* LSAT or GRE? Thanks to a vote by the ABA’s Section of Legal Education and Admissions to the Bar, it might not matter. If this proposal passes, soon law schools won’t even have to test potential applicants seeking admission. [Law.com]

* Advice for the internet hero who shut down President Trump’s Twitter account on his last day of work: “Don’t say anything and get a lawyer.” Why? He likely violated the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act. [The Hill]

* Todd Macaluso, one of Casey Anthony’s former attorneys, has been found guilty in an international cocaine distribution conspiracy involving a plane load of drugs worth about $13 million. He plans to appeal his conviction. [New York Daily News]

Memories of Brian Cuban's adventures in bar exam-taking and how alcohol and drug use affected those efforts.

'Do you want a bump, Brian? It will make you feel good.'

What are your obligations as an attorney if you discover information like this?

* Fresh off a five-month stint in prison for defrauding clients, Todd Malacuso, a lawyer who once represented Casey Anthony, has been arrested and accused of conspiring to smuggle almost two tons of cocaine into the United States from Central America on his own plane. He’s being held without bail as he’s been deemed a flight risk. [Daily Mail]

* “Taking a fee when you’ve got people literally still paying off their credit cards is a lot different than when it’s essentially found money for the plaintiffs.” In a wide-ranging interview, Jason Forge, a partner at Robbins Geller, explains why plaintiffs’ lawyers in the Trump University fraud case decided to forgo attorneys’ fees. [WSJ Law Blog]

* SCOTUS justices seem poised to block Texas from executing a man due to the fact that an outdated definition of intellectual disability is being used in its capital punishment regime. Justice Stephen Breyer said that the Texas standard to determine impairment “would free some, while subjecting others to the death penalty.” [USA Today]

* “We are refusing to comment on speculation around partners being in discussion with other firms.” Biglaw firms are circling King & Wood Mallesons like vultures, hoping to pick off partners as its EUME operations struggle. Goodwin Procter and Chadbourne & Parke are reportedly in talks to extend offers to KWM partners. [Big Law Business]

* According to the Committee on Capital Markets Regulation, President-elect Donald Trump and a Republican-led Congress may be able to tweak some elements of Dodd-Frank without completely dismantling or rewriting the law. After all, “federal agencies have wide latitude to undo reforms” and “there is room to change things.” [Reuters]

For some people, cocaine is a celebratory drug to be snorted on joyous occasions. For others, it’s a daily occurrence.

Can Congress even capable of passing criminal justice reform? Let alone meaningful criminal justice reform?

* Somewhere in Florida, Casey Anthony can rest a little easier knowing that Zenaida Gonzalez, the woman she falsely implicated in the kidnapping and death of her already deceased child, just had her defamation suit thrown out. [WKMG]

* Better late than never? The Judicial Conference finally decided impeachment is warranted for Judge Mark E. Fuller, who recently resigned from his position on the Middle District of Alabama’s bench in the wake of his “reprehensible” domestic violence scandal last summer. [WSJ Law Blog]

* In case you were wondering which Biglaw firms were reaping financial rewards in the race to represent clients in space, Squire Patton Boggs and K&L Gates have both performed at least six figures of work from their mission control centers. [Am Law Daily]

* Thomas Rubino, a paralegal at Manhattan firm Paris & Chaikin, allegedly forged the names of 76 judges on fake orders to make his life easier at work. Now that he’s facing 234 counts of forgery, something tells us his life is going to be more difficult. [New York Post]

* Lindsay Lohan’s defamation case against Fox News over comments made on The Sean Hannity Show that she did coke with her mother was dismissed because as Justice Wright noted, “truth is a defense.” He clearly didn’t think LiLo’s claims were fetch. [MSN News]

This lawyer reportedly tried to go above and beyond for his imprisoned client.

Cocaine's a hell of a drug, eh judge?

* Lindsay Lohan and her mom are suing Fox News with claims the TV network defamed them by saying “Lindsay Lohan’s mom is doing cocaine with her.” Legal experts are of the opinion the Lohans must be doing lines if they think they’ll win. [U.S. News & World Report]

* A prospective juror in the Colorado movie theater massacre case was released after telling a judge she brought her unvaccinated grandchild to court and ripping her hair out. Well, that’s one way to get out of jury duty. [Aurora Sentinel]

* Justice Elena Kagan says that if she hadn’t left her Harvard Law deanship to become solicitor general, she “[doesn’t] think [she] would be doing law, quite honestly.” The Supreme jurist says that “[i]t shows you how weird life can be.” [Supreme Court Brief]

* Lawyers in New York are worried that if the state adopts the Uniform Bar Exam, the “gold standard” of having passed the tougher version of the New York exam will be devalued. Aww, sorry about your butthurt. Get well soon. [New York Law Journal]

* Fresh off an 18-month tour of racking up insider trading convictions as a federal prosecutor in the Southern District of New York, Richard Tarlowe will join Paul Weiss to focus on white-collar criminal defense. Best of luck. [DealBook / New York Times]

If these allegations are true, perhaps partners aren't being paid enough?

The attorney in question had two licenses suspended: her driver's license AND her law license.

* The importance of firm toilets. [Legal Cheek] * JFK University is holding “Saturday Law School” at a shopping mall. They’ll be down by the “Macy’s and California Pizza Kitchen.” [Pleasanton Weekly] * Professor David Bernstein from GMU Law explains how sex works. Basically, unless you’re dealing with prostitutes, the proper way to deal with women is to just stick it in and see what happens. [Gawker] * "Noticing that different people look differently = innate human observation a little girl can do. Ascribing vastly different levels of trustworthiness based on skin color = police work." [ATL Redline] * Michelle MacDonald, the GOP nominee for Minnesota Supreme Court, has a pending DWI and an old contempt arrest, which she blows off with the line, “You can play foosball in the court when a judge isn’t there.” Picking real winners there, Minnesota. [Politics in Minnesota] * Cocaine gave this lawyer 9 lives. [Missouri Lawyers Weekly (sub. req.] * Mike Rowe decides not to take a lawyer’s advice. [IJ Review] * The Supreme Court was pretty good to the environment yesterday. Something must have been wrong. [Grist]

* “Those who support limits see the court right now as the T. rex from ‘Jurassic Park.’” Folks are pretty worried even more campaign finance laws will fall thanks to the Supreme Court’s ruling in the McCutcheon v. FEC case. [New York Times]

* Skadden Arps and Simpson Thacher are at the top of their game when it comes to mergers and acquisitions. Both firms did very well in new deal rankings released by Bloomberg, Mergermarket, and Thomson Reuters. Nice. [Am Law Daily]

* Former Massachusetts senator Scott Brown has reportedly ditched Nixon Peabody to try his hand at a U.S. Senate run in New Hampshire. We hope he doesn’t lose his shirt again. Oh wait… [Boston Globe]

* As it turns out, the book in the Harvard Law library once believed to be bound in human skin is actually bound in sheepskin. Congrats, this is slightly less creepy. [Et Seq. / Harvard Law School Library Blog]

* Celebrity chef Nigella Lawson was turned away from a flight to the U.S. after her admission to coke usage in a trial. She should probably stop sticking her nose in other people’s business. [The Guardian]

Sounds like this PD had one drink too many.

You'd think starting a drug ring as a police lawyer would be easier.

* Kansas Law School has been fined and censured by the ABA for recruiting violations surrounding Andrew Wiggins. Wait, no, I got that wrong. KU Law started an LL.M. program without asking, which I’m sure they did only because Wiggins is from Canada. [Topeka Capital-Journal]

* The proposed merger between Patton Boggs and Locke Lord has been called off. Fingers crossed that Bendini Lambert is the next target for Locke Lord. [Am Law Daily]

* Mayor Bloomberg swears at his last set of judges. I mean swears “in.” Man, who gets up this early? [NYC.gov]

* President Obama commutes the sentences of eight inmates convicted of crack-cocaine offenses. [New York Times]

* New Mexico is Breaking Gay. [Bloomberg]

* Did EA know Battlefield 4 would kind of suck before they released it? [Techspot]

* So evidently R. Kelly isn’t “trapped” in the closet, so much as he’s hiding there waiting for your daughter to come home. [The Root]

* Here’s your homework for today: everybody has to go find a dispirited Duck Dynasty fan and patiently explain to him or her the difference between a government infringement on free speech and a network momentarily suspending a bigot. You’re not allowed to punch the fans, you can only use words, and if necessary, hand gestures. [Huffington Post]

* An inside look at the jury deliberations in the recent insider trading trial of Michael Steinberg of SAC Capital. [New York Times]

* “She changed how the world looked at us: from scrappy lawyers to a force to be reckoned with.” As the very first female name partner of an Am Law 100 firm, the Biglaw world is Kathleen Sullivan’s oyster. Quinn Emanuel Urquhart & Sullivan thanks you kindly. [American Lawyer]

* “You hate to lose a great lawyer, but if you’re going to this is the way to do it.” Akin Gump might have recently lost partner Patricia Ann Millett to the D.C. Circuit, but her replacement, Pratik Shah, is working hard to fill her impressive shoes peep-toes. [National Law Journal]

* Alan Dershowitz will be stepping down from his position at Harvard Law School at the end of the week. Perhaps he’ll be able to find some time to join O.J. Simpson in the hunt for the real killers. [Boston Globe]

* Stephen McDaniel, the law grad accused of dismembering classmate Lauren Giddings, is back in the news. His alleged condom-stealing burglary capers are inadmissible at his murder trial. [Macon Telegraph]

* As if TLC’s critically acclaimed “Sister Wives” couldn’t get any better, a judge declared parts of Utah’s polygamy statute unconstitutional. Just imagine the ratings gold because of this ruling. [Salt Lake Tribune]

* It appears crack isn’t so wack after all, because Toronto’s crack-smoking mayor has a bevy of supporters who have stepped up to pay all of his legal bills. Waste your bonus money by donating here. [CBC News]

This seems too ridiculous to be true, but we've got her on film admitting to it!