English Grammar and Usage

Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 04.15.15

* Sorry, Chicago Law, but it looks like you're going to lose your dean. Michael Schill, the school's departing dean, will leave to assume the presidency at the University of Oregon. It's an upgrade for UO, and a potential downgrade for UChiLaw. Yikes... [Willamette Week] * FYI, D.C. Circuit litigants, you really need to “avoid using acronyms that are not widely known." This is your second warning, your colleagues have already been benchslapped for this behavior, and the clerk's office literally can't even anymore. [National Law Journal] * After six months spent completing a domestic violence program, the battery charge against Judge Mark Fuller has been dropped and expunged from his record. Whether he'll be allowed to keep his job on the federal bench is another story entirely. [Reuters] * Your law school application is a great place to explain why your undergraduate GPA is so damn low, because at this point in the process, the law school of your choice may be happy that you actually have a pulse. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report] * Theo Shaw, a member of the "Jena Six" who had to spend 7 months in jail because he couldn't afford bail for his alleged participation in a gang-beating, is going to law school on a full ride. He's "profoundly grateful" to Washington Law. Congrats! [Business Insider]

By Staci Zaretsky
Non-Sequiturs

Non-Sequiturs: 01.13.15

* From the "Why the hell didn't you settle this?" file: Now that Alexandra Marchuk's case against Faruqi & Faruqi and Juan Monteverde has gone to trial, it seems the firm is getting all sorts of publicity -- mostly negative. [New York Post] * Supreme Court justices are really just like us... they show up late to work, too. Because Justice Antonin Scalia was stuck in traffic this morning, Chief Justice John Roberts had to summarize two of Scalia's opinions from the bench. Oops! [NPR] * Speaking of Justice Scalia, the Supreme jurist managed to sneak in a citation to Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice in his opinion in Whitfield v. United States to show the common usage of the word “accompany." [Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post] * Remember Dennis Doyle, the lawyer who lost his job and dropped $25K to see every single Knicks game this season? He said this of his tragic endeavor: "I can’t shut it down. I’m in too deep. ... I’ll see it through—if it doesn’t kill me first." [Bleacher Report] * An Idaho prosecutor is having regrets over the fact that he chose to issue an arrest warrant for a 9-year-old boy on gum-stealing charges, calling it “a mistake under the circumstances.” That kid must be the coolest on the playground. [ABA Journal] * "Trying to suppress [the value of parody] with violence is a fool’s errand." In the wake of the horror of the Charlie Hebdo shootings, it's worth recognizing that here in the U.S., we owe much to rappers who have capitalized on free speech. [LinkedIn]

By Staci Zaretsky
Canada

Morning Docket: 11.28.14

* John Altorelli, the finance lawyer who allegedly had an affair with sexy Russian spy Anna Chapman, is indeed screwed -- he's the second former Dewey & LeBoeuf partner to file for personal bankruptcy in the wake of the firm's collapse. [American Lawyer] * Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who had a heart procedure on Wednesday, left the hospital yesterday and should be back on the bench on Monday. [CNN] * Canada's newest Supreme Court justice, Suzanne Cote, is no stranger to the spotlight; she's worked on high-profile cases like the investigation into Justice Lori Douglas (of nude photo fame). [How Appealing] * Michele Roberts, leading litigatrix and former Skadden partner, is settling into her new job as executive director of the National Basketball Players Association. [New York Times] * Newly released deposition testimony from Bill Cosby will probably only worsen his PR woes. [Associated Press] * Stuck in the office today with nothing to do? Take this fun exercise to test your punctuation and copy-editing skills, designed by Bryan A. Garner. [ABA Journal]

By David Lat
Biglaw

Morning Docket: 06.25.14

* With OT 2013 drawing to a close, here’s a nifty chart that shows which Supreme Court justices vote together most and least often. The division is real, people. [The Upshot / New York Times] * “Not only do they have unique interpretations of the Constitution but they can’t even agree on how to pronounce words.” Listen to our SCOTUS justices flub the word “certiorari.” [Legal Times] * Quinn Emanuel and Samsung must now pay more than $2M in sanctions to Nokia and Apple after leaking confidential, “attorneys’ eyes only” information in a discovery blunder. Oopsie! [Legal Week] * “Why can’t you get a real job?” This judge — the same one who sentenced a rapist to just 30 days in prison — told a fast-food worker to get a better job to pay off his restitution more quickly. [Billings Gazette] * If you think you’ve seen the best of the “Law and ______” classes, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Say hello to some newcomers, like Video Game Law and Law of Robots. Justice Scalia is pissed. [WSJ Law Blog]

By Staci Zaretsky
6th Circuit

Morning Docket: 06.17.14

* Judges with daughters are seven percent more likely to support women’s rights than judges with only sons. Alas, Justices Scalia and Alito are impervious to human emotion. [New York Times] * If you thought Supreme Court justices were “profoundly divided” over issues of law, wait until you see how they differ over the pronunciation of the word “certiorari.” [National Law Journal] * This year’s summer associate programs sound pretty lame compared to the past: “The emphasis is certainly more on the work than it is on the social events.” All work and no play makes Jack an employed boy at graduation. [Boston Business Journal] * “I saved the internet today. Your freedom continues.” Fair assessment. Sarah Jones’s win in her defamation case against Nik Richie and TheDirty.com was overturned by the Sixth Circuit. [Courier-Journal] * If you’re choosing to go against the president’s wishes and apply to law school, here’s how you can leverage your major on all of your applications. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report] * This cowgirl is putting aside her rodeo accomplishments to go to law school. At least she’ll have the experience needed to ride the bucking bronco of the post-recession job market. [Casper Star-Tribune]

By Staci Zaretsky