Morgan Lewis

* According to this former Supreme Court clerk, Justice Scalia’s judicial zingers are just like porn in that they’re “titillating, but over time they coarsen the culture of which they are a part.” (Plus, for what it’s worth, the jurist’s audience usually never gets a money shot.) [Washington Post]

* Better late than never? The ABA dropped the hammer on law schools trying to game their employment stats with a new rule that’ll force them to report school-funded jobs as part-time unless certain length and salary reqs are met. [WSJ Law Blog]

* The largest of D.C.’s largest law firms grew even larger over the past year, and thanks to a merger, an outsider firm — Morgan Lewis — managed to infiltrate the capital’s Big Four. Sorry, WilmerHale, but maybe 2016 will be your comeback year. [National Law Journal]

* In other ABA news, the Section of Legal Education and Admissions to the Bar rejected a plea for academic credit for paid externships, because we apparently want to keep students as indebted as possible before they begin their professional legal careers. [ABA Journal]

* A judge dismissed a lawsuit filed by Richard Lee, a known conspiracy theorist, who sought the release of the Seattle police department’s death-scene photographs from Nirvana star Kurt Cobain’s suicide. Hey! Wait! He’ll file a new complaint. [Seattle Times]

* An Ohio attorney was charged with making bomb threats at two state courthouses, but only after he was indicted for allegedly making bomb threats at a third courthouse. Wow, it’s almost like this guy didn’t do his homework motions or something. [Northeast Ohio Media Group]

* Loretta Lynch, our would-be replacement for Eric Holder as attorney general, still hasn’t been able to get confirmed, and the delay — which is being blamed on our Senate Majority Leader’s “inept leadership” — is now being referred to as “unconscionable.” Lovely. [CNN]

* What’s happening at #ATLConverge today? Check out our Twitter feed! [Converge]

* Earlier this week, Morgan Lewis combined with Singapore firm Stamford Law Corp. Effective April 1, ML&B will become one of the largest Biglaw firms in the world, rivaled only by the likes of Baker & McKenzie and Dacheng Dentons. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* More federal prosecutors are stepping down from their jobs and returning to their former Biglaw homes in private practice. Once you realize government work is a giant revolving door, soon enough, it’ll be your turn to leave. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

* If you’re still making a decision about which law schools to apply to, you can use the U.S. News rankings to help yourself. In the alternative, you can use the ATL Top 50 rankings to see if you’ll be able to get a job after graduation. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

* Who’s the meanest Supreme Court justice of all time? Science has the answer and it’s not Justice Scalia… [Eric Posner]

* Harper Lee is publishing a sequel to To Kill a Mockingbird (affiliate link). We hope for the best, but the circumstances of this announcement should make everyone a little worried. [Jezebel]

* Following the ridiculous arrest of a public defender for the egregious act of defending her client, some California lawyers are raising money to send copies of the Constitution to the SFPD. Silly lawyers, the cops understand the Constitution, they just don’t care. But still a commendable protest set piece that could keep the local media on the case. [Indiegogo]

* An interview with Steven Browne of Morgan Lewis on how the merger/non-merger with Bingham McCutchen is working out. The answer is pretty well except for some associates expecting a decent bonus. [Forbes]

* Uh oh. Emails suggest that Silk Road boss Ross Ulbricht hired a Hell’s Angels hitman. The takeaway here is that there are Hell’s Angels running on Bitcoin now. [Gawker Internet]

* Are you learning how to speak Arabic? Then you’re probably a terrorist. [Lowering the Bar]

* In a mind-blowingly stupid move, Florida’s legislature legalized teen sexting while trying to ban it. It’s almost as dumb as that time they legalized just shooting people on the street if you get scared. [Slate]

* Mary Holland, a “Graduate Legal Skills Program Research Scholar” at NYU Law, goes on CNN as their representative anti-vaxxer. As an NYU Law alum, this worried me until I noticed she got her law degree from Columbia. Now it all makes sense. [YouTube]

* A bitter rejection of corporate-speak. Ha. Good luck. I’m at LegalTech and expect to hear the word “synergy” about 20,000 times over the next 48 hours. [What About Clients?]

* Yes, Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link) is fun, but it tackles important issues too, as noted by Howard G. Franklin in this review. [Howard G. Franklin]

* Many Biglaw firms seem to be dragging their feet to match Davis Polk’s generous bonus scale. Why’s that? According to one partner, these bonus matches have cut into his firm’s profits by about 4 percent. Yikes! [The Economist]

* Total 1L enrollment in law school is the lowest it’s been since 1973, when there were 53 fewer schools. The next step would be to reduce tuition to 1973 levels, and then no one would have any more complaints. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Just because Bingham McCutchen bit the big one, it doesn’t mean that all of its pro bono cases will have to suffer the same fate. Not only did Morgan Lewis rescue most of the firm’s attorneys, but it’s also saving 500 of its pro bono cases. [Am Law Daily]

* Now that President Obama has decided to reopen diplomatic relations with Cuba, lawyers are champing at the bit for more business opportunities. Love Cuban cigars? Well, lawyers love trademark disputes involving those cigars. [National Law Journal]

* Greenberg Traurig reminds Florida clerks that if they issue gay marriage licenses, they could be criminally charged. Plaintiffs’ attorneys remind Florida clerks that if they refuse to issue gay marriage licenses, they could be sued. [Tampa Bay Times]

* Our managing editor, David Lat, sat down with Vivia Chen to dish about some of his favorite things, from his new book, Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link), to his new fiancé. Her book review: “I liked it! It’s a fun, breezy read.” Hooray! [The Careerist]

* “[I]t’s hard to find anybody as handsome as Antonin Scalia.” Some would beg to differ, but as it turns out, legal scholar Bryan Garner can brown-nose with the best of them. [WSJ Law Blog]

* For the third year in a row, Cooley Law graduates have mostly failed the July administration of the Michigan bar. So much for it being a “highly prestigious” law school. [Crain’s Detroit Business]

* In a lawsuit filed against real estate database Zillow, a former employee claims she was subjected to the “most heinous acts of sexual harassment imaginable” and “sexual torture.” That’s just lovely. [LAist]

* Law firm merger activity is still going strong as 2014 winds down to a close. Aside from big-name tie-ups like Bingham / Morgan Lewis and Locke Lord / Edwards Wildman, other firms like Verill Dana also had the urge to merge. [Am Law Daily]

* “Does it really surprise me? Not all that much.” University of Memphis School of Law students are on high alert during finals time after one of their own was almost robbed at gunpoint across the street from campus this week. Yikes. [WMC Action News 5]

* In case you’ve been sleeping under a rock, Above the Law’s managing editor, David Lat, wrote a book called Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link), and it’s been receiving rave reviews. If you dig clerkship lit, you should try to check it out. [National Law Journal]

* What’s happening to all the Bingham partners that are not joining Morgan Lewis? Here’s the latest on the lateral moves of “the Forgotten.” [Reuters (sub. req.)]

* “Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” That’s not at all what police said after throwing a guy in jail for brandishing a banana. [CBS News]

* Is it possible to save the Supreme Court from partisanship? [Bloomberg Politics]

* You think you had a ritzy Thanksgiving dinner? Well, some jackholes somewhere spent $35,000 for a Thanksgiving dinner devoted to conspicuous consumption in a world of inequity. [Daily Kos]

* Shearman & Sterling’s Richard Hsu continues his wonderful podcast on the lives of lawyers, this week chatting with Sean Patrick Butler, Sr. Corporate Counsel at Cisco, about Butler’s decision to live two hours away from San Francisco to live the rural life. [Hsu Untied]

* This guy is compiling stats on bar exam testing patterns. He’s got some California data up already. Perhaps with some reader contributions, he can get widespread coverage. [Bar Exam Stats]

* When it comes to legal scholarship, women are earning more citations than men according to one study. There are a lot of caveats to be had, but it looks like the law has one, finite area where the gender gap is narrow. [TaxProf Blog]

* One-third of lawyers are taking on more pro bono work these days. Good for them. [Robert Half Legal]

* “Have a taste of this. It will do you good in so many ways.” Louisa Moritz, one of Bill Cosby’s alleged victims, is interested in filing a class-action lawsuit against the comedian. [Fox News Latino]

* If you’re interested, here’s all of the testimony and evidence that was presented to the grand jury that resulted in no true bill for Darren Wilson in the Michael Brown shooting. [Associated Press]

* HBO hired a team of 160 lawyers to look at its film adaptation of Lawrence Wright’s book about Scientology. The power of thetans compels them to keep churning that bill, baby. [Hollywood Reporter]

* “The Constitution is not a math problem,” but it seems like the Supreme Court is playing a numbers game when it comes to its decisions having to do with same-sex marriage. What’s the magic number for SCOTUS to take a case? [New York Times]

* It’s official: Morgan Lewis has gobbled up most of Bingham McCutchen ahead of the Thanksgiving holiday. Stick a fork in it, because Morgan Lewis is done — it’s now stuffed full of more lawyers than any other firm in the country. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* Emerson Briggs III, an ex-partner at Hunton & Williams, is facing disbarment in D.C. over the child pornography he downloaded at work. Oh, how the mighty have fallen: he’s been working as a paralegal since being disbarred in New York. [Legal Times]

* Patricia Nesci, a law firm secretary, allegedly forged a judge’s signature on an order to show cause to keep herself from being evicted from her home earlier this month. She apparently did not get a Biglaw-style bonus from her former firm. [Syracuse.com]

* Before you submit your applications, you should try creating a budget to see just how financially screwed you’ll be during and after law school, and then compare it to your pre-law school budget. Try not to cry. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

* Morgan Lewis may be pretty pleased with itself now that it gets to gobble up most of Bingham McCutchen’s partners, but some day soon, it may be forced to “choke a bit” on remains of the dying firm’s carcass. [Philadelphia Business Journal]

* Yesterday, we wondered what would happen to Bingham McCutchen’s brand new back-office operation in Kentucky. Now, the pieces are starting to come together. We may have more on this interesting development later. [Am Law Daily]

* A Connecticut criminal defense firm’s managing partner who teaches at UConn Law was picked up in a prostitution sting last week. At least he’s got the skills to represent himself. [Connecticut Law Tribune]

* The NCBE thinks bar exam takers were “less able” than in prior years, but the organization seems to have forgotten that ExamSoft was “less able” to perform its one freaking job. [Bloomberg Businessweek]

* You must be whacked in the mind if you think law school tuition has anything to do with public service loan forgiveness. Law school tuition is high because people are still willing to pay for it. [Huffington Post]

* “The notion that some of us weren’t invited, selected or chosen to join Morgan Lewis is ridiculous.” Bingham McCutchen partners who aren’t moving to Morgan Lewis don’t want you to think they’re losers. [Am Law Daily]

* MGA is back in court to sue Mattel, and now it wants $1 billion after its $88 million verdict was nixed by the Ninth Circuit. Here’s hoping Quinn Emanuel will come to the rescue in a hot pink Barbiemobile. [National Law Journal]

* “We want an indictment. The cops don’t like it.” Missouri’s governor declared a state of emergency ahead of the grand jury’s decision on whether to indict the police officer who shot Michael Brown. Yikes. [Reuters]

* Not that it’s a wise choice, but you can still apply to law school with a low GPA. Almost nothing is “too low” these days. Most law schools want a pulse, that’s all. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

* Everyone can find love, even mass murderers and cult leaders: Charles Manson applied for a marriage license so he could get hitched to a 26-year-old woman who’s visited him since she was 17. [E! Online]