Physician-Assisted Suicide

* Out of the mouths of babes federal judges: “Those conclusions – that the president’s statements on national security are not always to be taken literally or to be trusted – are legal victories for his Justice Department….” Did you think you’d ever see a something like this written about the U.S. president? That’s our Trump! [USA Today]

* A good New Year’s resolution for the federal judiciary? Chief Justice John Roberts says that while progress has been made when it comes to protecting law clerks from sexual harassment, “[t]he job is not finished until we have done all that we can to ensure that all of our employees are treated with fairness, dignity, and respect.” [Washington Post]

* The American Federation of Government Employees, a labor union for federal employees, has filed suit against the government, claiming that requiring essential employees to work without pay during the shutdown — an “inhumane” practice for people who don’t know when their next paycheck is coming — violates the Fair Labor Standards Act. [CNN]

* Barbara Underwood really made a name for herself during her short tenure as New York’s first female attorney general. After she was thrust into the role, she quickly began her assault against President Donald Trump, eventually taking down his charitable foundation after alleging that he was using it as a front for his his private businesses and political campaign. [NBC News]

* Yet again, it’s time for women in Biglaw to celebrate fractional achievements for gender equality. According the Diversity and Flexibility Alliance, 39 percent of new partners named at Am Law firms were women, which was a “slight uptick,” but “the numbers really haven’t changed that much in the last five years.” Hooray. [Big Law Business]

* It’s a new year, so you know there are going to be a bunch of interesting new laws. Here are just a few: In California, domestic-violence convicts can lose their gun rights for life; in Hawaii, physician-assisted suicide is now legal; in Virginia, legislators and their staff members must undergo mandatory sexual-harassment training; and in New York City, non-binary people can now list their gender as “X” on birth certificates. [Wall Street Journal]

* We know our readers: here’s the only news that you care about this morning. This is the roster of salary movement news from Friday and Saturday: Desmarais, Brown Rudnick, Susman Godfrey, White & Case, Shearman & Sterling, and Baker Botts. If you’re ever worried that you’ve missed any of our coverage, check out our omnibus 2016 salary page where we collect all of these stories. [2016 Salary Increase / Above the Law]

* You may be wondering why some law firms in your city haven’t hopped on board the Cravath-inspired MoneyLaw train yet. It’s apparently all about competing market forces. John Beulick, Armstrong Teasdale’s new managing partner, says he’s considering bumping up associate pay because “[w]e want to and need to be competitive in our markets to have the talent that clients want us to have.” [Big Law Business]

* Speaking of raises for associates in flyover country, four Texas-based firms and seven national firms with offices in the Lone Star state have already announced matches to the new Cravath scale. Three more Texas firms — Akin Gump, Haynes and Boone, and Andrews Kurth — are expected to follow suit in the coming days. Please be sure to send us your firm’s memos ASAP after raises are announced! [Dallas Morning News]

* WHATCHA GONNA DO, BROTHER, WHEN LITIGATION FINANCE RUNS WILD ON YOU?!? Thanks to billionaire Peter Thiel’s financial assistance, Hulk Hogan bodyslammed Gawker into submission with a multimillion-dollar jury verdict. After declaring bankruptcy and entering into an asset purchase agreement, the media company is investigating possible legal claims against the venture capitalist. [Forbes]

* “I don’t really think [this lawsuit] has legs.” Doctors in California are filing suit to block The End of Life Option Act, a new state law that legalizes physician-assisted suicide. They claim that the law violates the state’s constitution with regard to citizens’ equal protection and due process rights because it fails to make “rational distinctions” between those who qualify under the law and those who are not covered under it. [WSJ Law Blog]

* While we’re loath to continue giving this woman airtime, it turns out that infamous Kentucky clerk Kim Davis’s law firm, Liberty Counsel, was recently declared a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. This fits the overall narrative here quite nicely, don’t you think? [Salon]

* After 12 days of deliberation, the jury in the criminal trial of Dewey & LeBoeuf’s former execs has shown no signs of reaching a verdict, but instead, signs of exhaustion. In fact, one juror needed medical attention because she deliberated too hard. [Am Law Daily]

* This seems to be a common phrase lately: law firm mergers are breaking records again. Altman Weil says more firms announced mergers in the first three quarters of 2015 than in the first three quarters of any year in almost a decade. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

* “I was left to reflect on what I would want in the face of my own death.” Thanks to Governor Jerry Brown, California is now the fifth state to legalize physician-assisted suicide. The End of Life Option Act will take effect sometime in 2016. [Los Angeles Times]

* If you’re an undergraduate student who’s planning to go to law school, then you better be building relevant lawyering skills. Master the art of bullsh*tting before you graduate and you’ll be ahead of the game. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

* A former DJ is suing Taylor Swift because he claims that he lost his job after he was falsely accused of grabbing the singer’s ass. When contacted for comment, Swift said, “I’ve got a blank motion to dismiss, baby, and I’ll write your name.” [Associated Press]

* BakerHostetler’s partners unanimously agreed to do away with its two-tiered partnership structure. We would’ve been shocked the firm was going to kick its nonequity partner title to the curb, but we broke the news on it last month. [Am Law Daily]

* Albany Law’s new dean thinks she may have a solution to the school’s enrollment problem, which is down by 38 percent since 2010. She wants to hire more professors, even though the school’s existing professors aren’t exactly pleased. [Albany Business Review]

* California’s legislature approved a landmark bill that will permit physician-assisted suicide for terminally ill patients. If Governor Jerry Brown refuses to sign the “death with dignity” law, supporters will likely bring it to a ballot referendum. [New York Times]

* A Brooklyn bride alleges in a recently filed lawsuit that she’s still waiting for her wedding pictures… more than two years after her wedding took place. She’s clearly not a bridezilla, because if she were, a lawsuit wouldn’t have even been necessary. [New York Post]