U.S. Patent and Trademark Office

* Senator Chuck Grassley of the Senate Judiciary Committee really, really, really wants any Supreme Court justice who’s considering retiring any time soon to speed things up and retire immediately so their successor can be confirmed ASAP before the midterms. You hear that, Justice Kennedy? You apparently need to announce your retirement “now or within two or three weeks.” [Reuters]

* Quinn Emanuel may face an investigation from the Solicitors Regulation Authority, the agency responsible for overseeing attorneys in the United Kingdom, in the wake of allegations concerning a dismissed partner’s inappropriate behavior. The firm reported itself to the SRA, because it takes the allegations “extremely seriously.” [Legal Week]

* Squire Patton Boggs is really trying to distance itself from Michael Cohen. Remember that strategic alliance they had? Psshtttttt, please, forget about that. Under the bus you go, my friend: “At all times, Cohen maintained his independence, was not an employee of the firm, and did not maintain files or bill clients through the firm.” [The Hill]

* The Federal Communications Commission is planning to kill net neutrality on June 11, one day before the Senate is set to vote on Congressional Review Act resolution that seeks to overturn the FCC’s repeal of net neutrality rules. [NPR]

* Dr. Dre, the rapper, lost a trademark infringement fight against Dr. Drai, the gynecologist. These motherf**kers at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office act like they forgot about Dre. [Courthouse News Service]

* Former Alabama Supreme Court Justice Roy Moore has won the Republican primary runoff election for the Senate seat that was once occupied by AG Jeff Sessions. Perhaps we can look forward to history repeating itself and Moore being twice suspended if he wins the special election. [New York Times]

* Senate Republicans don’t have the votes for the Graham-Cassidy effort to repeal Obamacare to pass, but not to worry, because they’ll be back at it again soon via the 2019 budget reconciliation process, and next time, they’re going to be transparent, hold committee hearings, and even consult Democrats. [CNN]

* The Trump administration’s Department of Homeland Security has refused to waive Jones Act shipping restrictions that are preventing Puerto Rico from getting the gasoline and supplies that are so desperately needed for the island’s recovery efforts following Hurricane Maria. Senator John McCain is pissed, and says it’s time to repeal the “archaic and burdensome” Act. [Reuters]

* Freedom hangs in the balance for Making a Murderer’s Brendan Dassey, whose case was heard before the full Seventh Circuit yesterday. According to court watchers, the judges seemed split, and we can’t help but to wonder what Judge Richard Posner would have thought. [Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel]

* Irell & Manella’s Andrei Iancu, President Trump’s pick to lead the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office, is awaiting confirmation. There’s no better way to bide our time while we wait than to discuss the fact that he’d been pulling down a $4 million paycheck at the firm. We’ll have more on this later. [Am Law Daily]

* “How can you expect companies to do the right thing when you[r] agency has not?” U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission Chairman Jay Clayton is taking heat over the fact that his agency was hacked in 2016, but nothing was mentioned about it until last week. He’s set a great example. [Big Law Business]

* According to a recent study, no matter what women do, in most cases, they’ll continue to earn less than men. The ban on asking employees about their salary history is doing nothing for women; in fact, they’re being penalized for refusing to disclose their salaries, while men are being rewarded. [The Careerist]

* Under cover of a natural disaster, President Donald Trump decided to pardon former Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio, who was found guilty of criminal contempt after ignoring a federal judge’s order. Trump, who has shown contempt for judges since the start of his campaign, now seems to be using his “weaponized pardon power” to circumvent the powers of the judiciary. [New York Times]

* Speaking of Hurricane Harvey, we know that many lawyers, law students, and law professors in Texas have been and continue to be affected by the devastating after effects of the storm. How has your firm or your law school handled the destruction and historic flooding? Please get in touch with us via email, text message (646-820-8477), or tweet (@atlblog) to let us know. [Above the Law]

* Getting back to Joe Arpaio’s pardon, lawyers, former government officials, and current lawmakers of all stripes have spoken out against the president’s unconventional action. Perhaps our favorite comment of all came from Professor Orin Kerr of USC Gould School of Law: “Trump shows his love of the Constitution by pardoning a man who refused to stop violating it.” [Law.com]

* Special Counsel Robert Mueller is reportedly investigating whether former national security adviser Michael Flynn played any kind of a role in obtaining Hillary Clinton’s emails from Russian hackers. If he did have something to do with it, Flynn may be more concerned about Clinton’s emails right now than the average Trump voter was in the lead-up to the election. [Wall Street Journal]

* Thanks to President Trump, Irell & Manella now stands to lose one of its top rainmakers. In a Friday announcement, patent litigator Andrei Iancu, a partner at the firm, was nominated to become the next Director of the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office and Under Secretary of Commerce for Intellectual Property. We wonder how long it’ll take for him to be confirmed.[Am Law Daily]

* Is there a constitutional right to follow President Donald Trump on Twitter? Columbia University’s Knight First Amendment Institute apparently thinks so, and lawyers from the free-speech center have demanded that Trump’s unblock critics from his @realDonaldTrump account. Good luck! [WSJ Law Blog]

* Following an investigation conducted by Perkins Coie, Uber fired more than 20 employees thanks to complaints of sexual harassment, bullying, and discrimination. Perkins Coie’s probe is separate from that of former Attorney General Eric Holder, who is now employed at Covington & Burling. [ABC News]

* Per sources inside the Trump administration, the president is expected to nominate Cheryl Stanton, a former Ogletree Deakins partner, to head the Department of Labor’s Wage and Hour Division. Stanton shares a former boss with Labor Secretary Alex Acosta: Justice Samuel Alito. [Big Law Business]

* Michelle Lee, the director of the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office, has resigned. During her time at the USPTO, Lee was known for her efforts to crack down on patent trolls, which ultimately led to a decrease in their vexatious litigation. The Trump administration has not yet put forth a nominee. [Reuters]

* The American Bar Association has granted provisional accreditation to the University of North Texas Dallas College of Law. Last summer, the ABA refused to grant even provisional accreditation to the school because there was concern about future graduates’ ability to pass the bar exam. Congrats… [ABA Journal]

* Claud “Tex” McIver, the Fisher & Phillips partner who accidentally shot and killed his wife and allegedly blamed the incident on a local Black Lives Matter protest, has been charged with involuntary manslaughter (a felony) and reckless conduct (a misdemeanor). McIver will now be retiring from the firm at the end of the year, instead of in 2017 as originally planned. [Big Law Business]

* “We keep being told that the administration was so surprised. Then you read what the government released. How can you possibly have been surprised?” Students at Charlotte Law are incredibly angry that the school was dropped from the federal loan program, and many feel like they were duped by the administration. Some students have even contacted local law firms to discuss filing suit against the school. [Charlotte Observer]

* “Your father is ruining the country. Why is she on our flight? She should be flying private.” The unruly passenger who allegedly accosted future first daughter Ivanka Trump on a JetBlue flight to Florida yesterday is — you guessed it — a lawyer. Daniel J. Goldstein, a graduate of UCLA Law, once worked as a labor relations specialist at the U.S. Mint before moving to Brooklyn. His current place of work is unknown. [Forward]

* According to the results of an investigation by a law firm hired by the University of Oregon, law professor Nancy Shurtz committed “discriminatory harassment” by wearing a blackface costume on Halloween, in violation of the school’s anti-discrimination policies. The report does not indicate if Professor Shurtz was punished, but she is no longer on paid leave and is not scheduled to teach this spring. [The Oregonian]

* Michelle K. Lee, the outgoing director of the Patent and Trademark Office, says the “interactions that we have been having [with the president-elect’s transition team] are very positive,” and that although Donald Trump’s relationship with the denizens of Silicon Valley has at times been rocky, she thinks “any administration would have a strong and robust intellectual property system as a priority.” [WSJ Law Blog]

* Alec Baldwin will be playing controversial Brooklyn prosecutor Michael Vecchione in a new TV series in development that was adapted from the lawyer’s 2015 book, Crooked Brooklyn (affiliate link). Not to worry, because we’re sure that the actor will still be able to find the time during his shooting schedule to impersonate and infuriate President-elect Trump with his portrayals on Saturday Night Live. [Page Six / New York Post]

* Alecia Schmuhl, the lawyer accused of teaming up with her husband and plotting to kill the managing partner of the law firm she was fired from, has taken a deal in her case and could serve anywhere from 10 to 45 years in prison under the terms of her plea agreement. She’ll be sentenced by the middle of January 2017. [Washington Post]

* Two heads are better than one, especially when it comes to taking over a Biglaw titan’s position as chairman at K&L Gates. Longtime chairman Peter Kalis will step down at the end of February, and come March, James Segerdahl will serve as the firm’s global managing partner, while Michael Caccese will serve as chairman of the firm’s management committee. We’ll have more on this later today. [Big Law Business]

* A big old welcome back to Biglaw: Brackett Denniston III, who has served as general counsel at GE for more than two decades, is throwing in the in-house towel to get back to the daily grind of law firm life. He recently rejoined Goodwin Procter — a firm where he previously worked for about 15 years — as senior counsel, and while there, he hopes to work on “hard cases” and mentor some of the firm’s younger lawyers. [WSJ Law Blog]

* What do the Redskins and the Slants have in common, aside from names that some may consider offensive? As it turns out, the football team and the rock band are fighting the same fight before the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. They both claim the First Amendment bars the USPTO from refusing to register their “disparaging” marks, and the Supreme Court may soon grant cert on either one of their cases. [Associated Press]

* If you’re planning to apply to law school during this admissions cycle despite the state of the job market for entry-level attorneys, then you may want to follow this 10-week timeline for submitting your applications. Don’t forget that the goal here is to get ahead of the game, take advantage of rolling admissions, and submit all of your materials before those pesky December LSAT test-takers. [U.S. News & World Report]

* “We believe the magistrate judge’s decision that Brendan Dassey’s confession was coerced by investigators, and that no reasonable court could have concluded otherwise, is wrong on the facts and wrong on the law.” Prosecutors in Wisconsin have appealed the overturned conviction of “Making a Murderer” subject Brendan Dassey. He’ll remain in prison pending the outcome of the appeal. [New York Times]

* A Canadian judge is facing possible removal from the bench after asking this question to the accuser in a rape trial: “Why couldn’t you just keep your knees together?” The judge also made other inappropriate remarks during the trial, and blames it on his failure to understand changes to the country’s sexual-assault laws. [ABC News]

* Desperate times sometimes call for really desperate measures? California-based Prism Patents is cutting its executives’ compensation by two-thirds in an attempt to come up with some cash. Its general counsel’s salary fell from $240,000 to $90,000, and the company’s CEO now makes $12 (not a typo), down from $300,000. [Big Law Business]

* The battle between Houston Law School and the Houston College of Law (formerly South Texas Law) rages on, and now the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office is involved. Thanks to a complaint lodged by U. Houston, the USPTO has suspended Houston College’s trademark application for its new name. [Houston Chronicle via TaxProf Blog]

* It doesn’t matter if Romy and Michelle invented Post-It Notes or if serial inventor Alan Amron did, because your lawsuit against 3M is likely to be dismissed — especially if you’ve already settled a prior $400 million suit over the product’s inventorship for $12,000 and released the company from all of your future claims. [CBS Minnesota]