Washington

* Want to get a JD and really care about koalas? This school has you covered. [Washingtonian]

* Things get real legally when you know it is a drought. [SLTrib]

* The “It’s my money and I need it now!” energy is strong with this one. [WSJ]

* Sometimes your adversaries are attendees. Tough luck. [Bloomberg]

* A class action about Xbox controllers that allegedly “drift” has been beefed up. I used to blame controllers when I lost at GoldenEye as a kid… [Video Games Chronicle]

* Andrew Cuomo apparently has “no interest in going to Washington” to become Attorney General if Joe Biden is elected president. [Fox News]

* A Connecticut lawyer who served time in federal prison for fraud is seeking reinstatement to the Connecticut Bar. [CT Post]

* Law School Transparency is hosting an event on the future of the bar exam that you should all check out! [Law School Transparency]

* A black man who was allegedly led through Galveston, Texas, by a white police officer on horseback is suing the city for $1 million. [CNN]

* The Florida Bar says a lawyer acted so poorly, the judge had to “resort to a discipline strategy typically reserved to parents separating bickering siblings.” This sounds like so many depositions I’ve attended… [Daily Business Review]

* “When the founders wrote the Declaration of Independence, they invoked our creator four times, because in America we don’t worship government we worship God.” Guess who was awarded an honorary law degree this weekend? It was none other that President Donald Trump, who delivered the commencement address at Liberty University on Saturday morning. [The Hill; TIME]

* The Pink Ghetto (Partner Edition)? A Proskauer Rose partner has filed a $50M gender bias suit against the firm, claiming she was not only paid less than male colleagues, but that she was “overtly objectified based on her sex” when a fellow partner allegedly “made inappropriate comments regarding her appearance, body, clothing, or ‘sexiness'” on numerous occasions. [Am Law Daily]

* Tarra Simmons has quite the résumé: she’s a convicted felon and former drug addict who also happens to be the recipient of a prized Skadden fellowship. Unfortunately, she may not be able to practice law thanks to a recommendation from the Washington State Bar Association’s Character and Fitness Board that she be denied bar admission. She plans to appeal. [Northwest Public Radio]

* Walter “Chet” Little, a former Foley & Lardner partner, has been arrested on insider trading charges that stem from his time at the firm. Soon after finding out about the nature of the charges, Bradley Arant Boult Cummings, his current firm, politely showed him the door. If convicted, Little will likely face quite the lengthy prison term and a fine of up to $5 million. Ouch. [WSJ Law Blog]

* “There was never a question of whether I was going to go to law school or not. It was just when I was going to go….” Chris Carr, a former cornerback for the Baltimore Ravens, is set to graduate from GW Law School this weekend. He’ll be taking the California bar exam this summer, but he recently accepted a job offer at an immigration law firm in Virginia. Congratulations! [Washington Post]

* Slowly but surely, the effects of Brexit have started to take their toll on Biglaw firms in the United Kingdom. Thanks to the declining value of the pound, following a salary review, Akin Gump has decided to completely overhaul its compensation system and will now pay its junior associates in line with current exchange rates. Ouch! [The Lawyer (sub. req.)]

* “I do not consider it a coincidence that this Democratic smear on Justice Thomas comes as he celebrates 25 years on the court, and in the heat of a presidential election.” Former assistant White House counsel Mark Paoletta is having trouble believing attorney Moira Smith’s groping allegation against Justice Clarence Thomas, while the justice himself says it’s “preposterous,” claiming “it never happened.” [Washington Post]

* “[M]ale management has not uttered a verbal word to me since April 1 — radio silence — despite my repeated invitations and efforts to sit down and discuss important issues that need to be sorted out….” If you’d like to know what life has been like for partner Kerrie Campbell since she filed her $50M suit against Chadbourne & Parke, this interview, though it may be brief, will tell you quite a bit about it. [Big Law Business]

* A troubled Florida law firm — one that’s currently grappling with an ethics investigation against at least two attorneys and whose managing partner has previously been disciplined by the state bar — has turned to layoffs in an attempt to solve some of its financial problems. Thus far, more than 50 employees have been let go from the firm since this past spring. We may have more on this later today. [Orlando Sentinel]

* “This is an attack on the credibility of the court.” Just when you thought elections for state judges couldn’t get any duller, Microsoft’s Bill Gates is banding together with other billionaires to oust Washington State Supreme Court Justice Charles Wiggins from his seat on the bench. In all, they’ve spent $850,000 to fund political action committees in an effort to convince voters to cast ballots for his opponent. [WSJ Law Blog]

* In case you missed it, one of the categories on Jeopardy! earlier this week was “Law Firms.” One of the questions that stumped a contestant was: “Tops for patent litigation per U.S. News & World Report, Fish & Richardson specializes in IP, short for this.” Come on, you dope, the very easy answer was “What is intellectual property?” [WSJ Law Blog]

* After receiving overwhelming support in both the House and Senate, President Obama signed the Defend Trade Secrets Act (DTSA) into law yesterday afternoon. The DTSA is the most significant expansion of federal law in IP since the Lanham Act. Companies will now be able to file federal civil lawsuits for theft of trade secrets. [Law 360 (sub. req.)]

* Mossack Fonseca, the law firm at the center of the Panama Papers scandal, says that it will be filing suit against the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists for leaking information that the firm alleges to be false. Attorneys at the firm say the ICIJ has forced them to “start aggressive legal action to protect [them]selves.” [France24]

* “You don’t have to work for a 501(c)(3) or anything like that in order to be eligible. You just have to not make that much money.” More law schools are trying to entice students to attend by touting their low-income protection plans and loan repayment assistance plans. We hope your law school is willing to help you after graduation. [U.S. News]

* Not to harsh your mellow, dude, but according to a recent study by AAA, fatal car accidents have “surged” in states where marijuana has been legalized. For example, in Washington, the number of fatal crashes involving stoned drivers increased from 8% to 17% from 2013 to 2014, the year recreational marijuana was legalized. [Inquisitr]

* Intelligence Squared offers its latest debate tomorrow night, and it’s incredibly timely. Four law professors will debate the following proposition: “Courts, Not Campuses, Should Decide Sexual Assault Cases.” (We’ll feature the livestream tomorrow.) [Intelligence Squared]

* Oh, joy. A recent decision by Judge Rosemary Collyer promises to make Washington, D.C. more dysfunctional. How is the even possible? [New Republic]

* Tim Wu is taking a sabbatical from Columbia Law — he’s been tapped by the Amazing Schneiderman for the New York AG’s office. [New York Times]

* Just how far is the reach of the Sarbanes-Oxley Act? Can you be prosecuted for clearing your browser history? Gulp. [The Nation]

* Creating a system to rank humanity’s worst crimes. This guy must be a blast a cocktail parties. [Pacific Standard]