If you’re like us, you read the New York Times wedding announcements religiously every week. It’s one of the most addictive forms of résumé porn. Consider the trenchant analysis of David Brooks:
The wedding page is a weekly obsession for thousands of Times readers and aspiring Victor Hugos. Unabashedly elitist, secretive (believe me, I’ve tried to get information out of the page’s editors), and therefore totally honest, the “mergers and acquisitions page” — as many of its devotees call it — has always provided an accurate look at an important chunk of the American ruling class. And over the years it has reflected the transformation of the American establishment….
[As the WASP elite has declined,] a new elite has coalesced, and it is found — as much as anywhere — on the wedding page of the New York Times. Whereas the old establishment was based on birth and breeding, this new establishment rests on education and career.
And what educations! What careers! Reading the Times wedding page and secretly comparing yourself to all the featured brides and grooms is a recipe for depression.
Well, we’re here to help. Each week we’ll read the Times wedding page, so you don’t have to. We’ll pick out selected marriages involving members of the legal profession and offer colorful commentary on them. Think of it as like the Veiled Conceit blog, but centered on lawyers.
We’ll score each couple in three to four categories: (1) their résumés; (2) their families; (3) couple balance (how well-matched they are); and (4) beauty (but only if there’s a picture of the happy couple). We’ll average these scores to produce an overall score. The couple with the highest overall score is the winner for that week!
The inaugural installment appears after the jump.
1. Carrie Gombos and David Altschuler
Résumé score: 9.0. Carrie and David are definite overachievers. She’s a Cornell grad (with distinction), and he’s a Yale grad (magna). Then they both went to Harvard for law school. She went to Paul Weiss, and he landed a coveted Southern District of New York clerkship (with outgoing Chief Judge Mukasey). In September she’ll start clerking (in the E.D.N.Y.), and he’ll go to Akin Gump.
Family score: 8.0. David’s parents are more high-powered than Carrie’s. His would get a score in the high 8s, while hers would get a score in the high 6s; together they average out to around an 8. David’s mom is an executive at advertising giant Interpublic, and his dad is a partner at the obscenely profitable Cadwalader, Wickersham, and Taft. Carrie’s mom is a psychotherapist and social worker, and her dad is an exec in an architecture and engineering firm.
Balance score: 9.8. This is an extremely well-balanced couple. They went to comparable undergraduate institutions and the same law school. She landed a better firm job, but he secured a more prestigious clerkship. So they’re pretty much even.
Beauty score (only if pictured): 9.0. Very attractive! Nice skin, great teeth.
Overall score: 8.95.
Additional comments: An impressive couple. Their educational and professional pedigrees are impeccable and well-matched. The kids are sure to be adorable.
2. Tasha Hailey and Imar Hutchins.
Résumé score: 8.5. They both went to historically black colleges: he to Morehouse (summa), and she to Howard (magna; and she also got her law degree there, cum laude). He went to Yale for law school, which strengthens their score considerably. She’s an in-house lawyer at Pfizer, a nice gig. He practices real estate law in New York.
Family score: 8.7. Her father is a furrier in Seattle, which is cool and interesting, and her mother is president of a newspaper publishing company. His father is a retired real estate broker and appraiser, and his mother was a clinical psychologist. His grandfather was Dr. Lyman T. Johnson, identified by the Times as “a civil rights pioneer who lived in Louisville.” That last fact boosts their score considerably — distinguished ancestors count for a lot!
Balance score: 9.0. Tasha and Imar are nicely balanced. His educational background may be stronger than hers, but her current job carries more prestige than his.
Beauty score (only if pictured): 8.9. Quite nice-looking. Tasha’s exotic beauty is reminiscent of the songstress Brandy.
Overall score: 8.775.
Additional comments: Tasha and Imar were a lock for the NYT wedding page. The Times loves itself a black power couple!
3. Mary Tobler and Max Minzner.
Résumé score: 9.2. She’s a Yale grad (cum laude), and he’s a Brown grad (magna), followed by Yale Law. He’s a former federal prosecutor who will be teaching law at Cardozo in the fall — a gold-plated résumé . She’s a freelance writer with glamorous Hollywood credentials (including two projects with Jonathan Demme).
Family score: 8.2. Mary’s family is fairly standard: her dad works in IT, and her mom is a retired fifth-grade teacher. Max’s family is high-octane: his mother sists on the New Mexico Supreme Court, and his father is a partner in Rodey, Dickason, Sloan, Akin & Robb, one of New Mexico’s biggest firms. (Yeah, we know, New Mexico — but still…)
Balance score: 8.5. Mary and Max work in very different fields, so there’s a limit on how well-balanced they can be. But, with comparable educational backgrounds and super-successful careers in their respective areas, this is a relatively well-balanced couple.
Overall score: 8.63.
Additional comments: It’s nice to see a lawyer marry outside the profession. Good work, Max!
(Disclosure: We went to law school with Max and consider him a friend. We hope he won’t be upset over his third-place finish in Legal Eagle Wedding Watch. Max, we call ’em as we see ’em!)
THIS WEEK’S WINNING COUPLE: Carrie Gombos and David Altschuler. Their impossibly high balance score made them impossible to beat. Congratulations!