State Judges

Judge To Abuse Victim: 'Little Blond Honey, You’re Too Dumb To Leave.'

He's apologized for his 'absolutely wrong' remarks.

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A Pennsylvania judge has apologized for shocking comments he made at a protection-from-abuse hearing that the Pennsylvania Superior Court called “belittling.” Judge Alan Rubenstein now says his comments were “more than inappropriate” and “absolutely wrong,” but says he was “outraged and angry” at the abuse the victim had suffered for 17 years.

As reported by the Bucks County Courier Times, in the hearing where Judge Rubenstein granted the protective order, he said to the woman:

“Little blond honey, you’re too dumb to leave. She tells me she was putting money in her 401(k) so she can leave. That’s a bunch of crap. Keep on doing that; that 401(k) money will pay for your funeral. How can you stay with this knucklehead? You have no self-respect.”

And he also had choice words for the alleged abuser:

“So he’s a real tough guy when it comes to beating on women,” Rubenstein said. “We’ve seen guys like that. They have other inadequacies. I’m not going to address them because I’m not an anatomist, but it seems to follow.”

Though the parties didn’t raise the issue on appeal, the superior court called the comments “shocking, sexist, offensive and egregiously inappropriate,” and said they “evince a fundamental misunderstanding of the dynamics of intimate partner violence.” And as the ABA Journal reports, the court also found the comments inaccurate:

The court also said the remarks were “largely inaccurate” because the woman had been separated from the man since 2017. During the separation, the woman obtained sole legal custody of their children after an incident that happened while the daughter was at the man’s house. The daughter testified that her father had assaulted his girlfriend.

After the separation, the abuser “inundated her with over 560 text messages in one week, including links to songs with violent lyrics,” according to the opinion. He also purchased a tracking device that was attached to the woman’s vehicle. After the custody hearing, he posted a threatening message on Facebook.

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According to reports, the woman at the center of the issue merely thought Rubenstein’s comments were a “generational thing.” And her lawyer, Jan Grossman, said, “Everybody is up in arms about what the judge said, but 95% of his ruling was a fantastic protection for women and victims.” Which very much seems to miss the point.

headshotKathryn Rubino is a Senior Editor at Above the Law, and host of The Jabot podcast. AtL tipsters are the best, so please connect with her. Feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments and follow her on Twitter (@Kathryn1).

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