Albeit a ridiculous pro se one filed by a prisoner in South Carolina.
There’s nothing like the free time that prison provides and
obviously severe mental problems a vivid imagination as a recipe for hilarious, hand-written, pro se complaints. Exhibit A:
Where to begin? Well, first of all, as far as we know Vick is not a federal agent of any kind, so this can’t possibly be an action filed pursuant to Bivens. But of all of the problems with this complaint, that may be the least. Continued discussion and the rest of the complaint after the jump.
Really? $63,000,000,000.00 Billion dollars? Isnt’ that 63 billion billion dollars? Is that more or less than a gajillion? And newsflash: United States currency is no longer backed by gold or silver. You should have asked for it in Euros.
He must have included that bit about Vick needing to stop “physically hurting [his] feelings and dashing [his] hopes” to establish physically injury for an intentional infliction of emotional distress claim. But we feel you, dawg; Vick’s been physically hurting our feelings and dashing our hopes as a Falcons fan for years now.
We kid pro se litigants because we love.