Who says the associate bonus news has dried up? Check out the latest announcement to make its way to our inbox:
LAW OFFICES OF DAVID C. MCGRAIL
676A Ninth Avenue #211, New York, NY 10036
Ph: (646) 290-6496 Fax: (646) 224-8377
MEMORANDUM TO ALL U.S. ATTORNEYS
November 8, 2007
We are delighted to announce that the Firm will pay special bonuses to all U.S. attorneys, in the amounts set forth below.
Class of 2000: $60,003
The special bonuses will supplement the Firm’s normal year-end U.S. bonuses. In lieu of special and year-end bonuses, U.S. attorneys may opt for a 100% equity stake in the Firm.
It is our pleasure to work with such an extraordinarily talented, quick-witted, well-read, handsome, modest group of lawyers. Thanks to your hard work, 2007 has been the Firm’s best year ever. While our securitization, antitrust, environmental, mass tort, tax, trust and estates, and patent litigation practices remain nonexistent, our bankruptcy/restructuring and general corporate practices have flourished. Profits are up infinity percent from 2006. We look forward to seeing you all and celebrating this year’s successes at the holiday party at “Go Sushi” on 51st and 9th.
The Firm urges you not to circulate this memo to muckraking legal tabloids such as Above the Law. We recognize that our special bonuses exceed those offered by Cravath and others, and we don’t want to hurt their feelings.
Law Offices of David McGrail [official website]