After two weeks of political chatter over John McCain’s vice-presidential pick, one burning question remains: Will Bristol Palin’s wedding announcement run in the New York Times? If it does, dear readers, it may mark the first time a self-described “f–kin’ redneck” appears in that space. Be assured that LEWW, after stretching to find a legal angle, will cover it with the breathless snark you demand.
As is usually the case, all three of our weddings this week were officiated by Rabbis. So you may safely assume that there are no rednecks, and no pregnant brides. Just silky smooth prestige. Here are the finalists:
More about these couples, after the jump.
1. Sara Aronchick and Scott Solow
(Buy them a garment bag.)
– This glowing bride is a summa grad of Yale and a current student at YLS. She’s taking some time off from school this fall to support her man — her man, of course, being Barack Obama, for whom she’s working as an economic policy intern.
– The groom, a Penn grad and the son of a dental hygienist and a dentist/orthodontist, is a third-year dental student at Columbia.
The Case Against:
– Poor Owen Fiss! Pity Bruce Ackerman! With most of the YLS student body away this semester securing jobs in an Obama administration, these brave professors have been left at the mercy of snarling packs of Fed Soc types.
2. Betty Luther and Benjamin Siracusa
(Buy them a giant muffin pan.)
– The groom provides the legal heft, having recently graduated from YLS (he was magna at Harvard for undergrad). He’s beginning a clerkship for Judge Janet C. Hall of the of the Federal District Court in Bridgeport.
– The bride established her dominance over her future husband by graduating summa from Harvard. She has a master’s from the University of Chicago and is currently working towards her doctorate in American History from Yale.
The Case Against:
– They’re doing a complicated name switcharoo, involving their current last names and a new, made-up surname created from their mothers’ maiden names. A very modern young man of LEWW’s acquaintance once confessed to us that whenever he meets a wife who hasn’t taken her husband’s name, he unconsciously assumes that the two sleep in separate twin beds and do not have sex. We wonder if his assumption about Team Luther-Hillman-Siracusa-Hillman would be any more or less kinky.
3. Annie Kaufman and Tad Fallows
(Buy them $11,785 of silverware.)
– Annie has the JD (from HLS, cum laude); she graduated from Stanford and also received a master’s there. She’s now a management consultant for McKinsey.
– Tad was magna at Harvard. He founded a company that does something biomedical and therefore sounds lucrative, prestigious, and altruistic all at once.
– Tad’s father is former Harvard Crimson editor, Rhodes Scholar, Carter speechwriter, and Serious Journalist James Fallows.
– Their picture is everything a NYT wedding headshot should be. Tad and Annie are presented as moderately attractive, but not at all sexy. They are outdoors, bathed in a wholesome golden glow. Annie is confident but demure, a bit in Tad’s shadow. He’s large-headed and smirking. And why shouldn’t he be? His name is Tad, after all, and he rowed for Harvard.
The Case Against:
– Hard to find a flaw with this picture of WASP privilege. (Technically, Annie seems to be Jewish. But no matter; in the NYT wedding pages, Jew is the new WASP.) If we had to find a nit to pick, it would be that Annie’s not practicing law.
A hideously difficult decision for LEWW this week. Team Aronchick-Solow is chirpy and idealistic but doesn’t have a JD yet.
Team Luther-Hillman-Siracusa-Hillman has a legal job, but . . . meh. Maybe we’re just suckers for good photography, but we’re awarding this week’s crown to Team Kaufman-Fallows. Congratulations!