Summer Associates

Wilmer Lunch Memo

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Last month, we brought you a summer lunch memo featuring the comedic stylings of lawyers from Cleary Gottlieb.
This week, a lunch memo is going around the offices of WilmerHale:

Year in and year out, our Summer Associates tell us that what they remember most is the time they spent with the lawyers of WilmerHale. And there is no better way for each of you to get to know these 38 lawyers-to-be than to take them to lunch and chat them up a little bit.
Look around your floors today and take notice of the new Summer Associates. And yes, those of you on floors 21 and 31 may have to put in a little more effort and look around other floors on your way to meetings. Keep in mind, Summers tend to (a) have full heads of hair, (b) be a touch overdressed on their first day, and (c) have nice WilmerHale paraphernalia that even those of us who have labored here 5, 10, 15 years don’t get. Make a point to invite those folks to lunch a few times over the next 10 weeks.

The memo goes on to parody the Boston-area furniture store that famously gave away a lot of merchandise for free when the Boston Red Sox won the world series.
While we at Above the Law appreciate any attempt at levity during these difficult times, some WIlmerHale tipsters are less than impressed:

[O]bviously written by someone who is on the cusp of having a sense of humor not quite there. [It] lacks the risqué-ness of the Cleary memo (e.g. class distinction – “you can go to McDonalds,” etc) but is what you get from the most rigid firm in Boston.

Everybody’s a critic. And while we admit that the memo is a little bit inside (Boston) baseball, at least WilmerHale is joking. That has got to be better than the lunch memos that came out of Simpson Thacher.
Read the full memo after the jump and see for yourself.


WILMERHALE — MEMORANDUM — SUMMER LUNCHES
Date: May 26, 2009
To: WH Boston Lawyers
From: REDACTED
Re: Boston Office Summer Program Lunch Fund
The MONSTER™ SUMMER LUNCH PAYBACK™ is here.[1]
Year in and year out, our Summer Associates tell us that what they remember most is the time they spent with the lawyers of WilmerHale. And there is no better way for each of you to get to know these 38 lawyers-to-be than to take them to lunch and chat them up a little bit.
Look around your floors today and take notice of the new Summer Associates. And yes, those of you on floors 21 and 31 may have to put in a little more effort and look around other floors on your way to meetings. Keep in mind, Summers tend to (a) have full heads of hair, (b) be a touch overdressed on their first day, and (c) have nice WilmerHale paraphernalia that even those of us who have labored here 5, 10, 15 years don’t get. Make a point to invite those folks to lunch a few times over the next 10 weeks.
And here’s what’s in it for you (other than a nice lunch):
IF the Red Sox sweep the “Big Series”[2], AND IF Jason Varitek, Julio Lugo, Daisuke Matsuzaka, and Travis Denker hit back-to-back-to-back-to-back home runs to right-center field in the fourth inning of Game 3 of the Big Series[3] THEN…
Legal Personnel will reimburse the full cost of your lunch! (Certain other conditions apply, see “contest conditions” below).
And, even if the Red Sox don’t sweep, or even make the post-season, you will get a solid “thank you” from Peter Kolovos and one member of the Legal Personnel and Recruiting Department to-be-named-later.
CONTEST CONDITIONS:
(1) Lunches should be about $25-$30 per person (i.e., unlikely to happen at Morton’s, but certainly doable at Al’s);
(2) Lunches should consist of one or two lawyers and no more than a few Summers (with at least as many Summers as lawyers), and we also prefer that the lawyer select the Summers rather than having one Summer send out a blast email;
(3) Submit all receipts with the names of lunch attendees to the Legal Personnel and Recruiting Department for reimbursement (yes, we’re happy to pay you back right away, so long as you understand we will track you down if the Red Sox let us down); and
(4) Certify that you “very strongly considered” bringing your own reusable water bottle[4] to lunch (soda is overpriced).
Enjoy your Summer
[1] Note there are some slight changes to the Firm’s prior Summer Associate Lunch Programs.
[2] We’re not allowed to use the term “W—d S-ries” without the written permission of Major League Baseball, which we did not have time to get because three out of the four of us procrastinated in writing this memo and left it to the most junior co-chair to do on a day when he also needed to complete a big research assignment.
[3] If Game 3 is a road game for the Red Sox, pitchers will hit, so there is a possibility that Matsuzaka would get an at bat. Travis Denker is a quality second baseman for a Red Sox minor league affiliate right now, but we’re told he has a bright future.
[4] The Green Committee will also ask for such certification.

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