Over the break, one NYU Law student started a movement to bring Nicole Polizzi (a.k.a. Snooki from the cast of Jersey Shore) to an NYU party. NYU students thought they could hang out with a drunk girl who likes to party, for just $2,000. Here’s the email that was sent to the NYU Law listserve:
Apparently, Snooki(e) from the Jersey Shore is charging $2,000 to make “personal appearances.” Basically, for 2-large, she will come to your party and get drunk and do cartwheels and fistpump and “battle on the floor” to techno “music” and try in vain to hook up with people and be generally awesome and delightful.
Here is where I got this information from: http://perezhilton.com/2009-12-22-rent-a-jersey-guidette-for-your-next-office-party
I want to note, first and foremost, that I neither agree with nor condone the general tone and candor of the Perez Hilton post. I think it’s not only distasteful and hateful, but dead wrong. Snooki(e) is one of the most delightful human beings ever to walk planet Earth and I need to hang out with her. I’m comfortable calling anyone who wouldn’t want to hang out with
her a “Silly Goose.”
That being said, $2,000 sounds like an absolute steal to me, so long as a good deal of people are willing to get together and throw down on bringing her in for a private party (we could rent out a small open bar somewhere). I have spoken to a number of friends already about this, several of whom are interested, which prompted me to see if Coases might be a fruitful avenue to pursue further subsidization of this event/personal dream of mine that I never knew I had until three weeks ago. If other people are down to get in on this heroic endeavor, which is sure to greatly enhance the lives of all those involved in ways we could never even dream of, please e-mail me saying so and letting me know the max you’d be willing to kick in towards the effort. I would genuinely like to see if we can make this thing happen.
Did they hit that? Details after the jump.
The message continues:
Alternatively, perhaps we could have her appear at the first SBA party of the new semester (which would save us all money, with NYU Law footing the bill). When was the last time we had a celebrity appearance at one of those things? And no, Owen Wilson at Blue & Gold in Spring 2k8 doesn’t count because he was just there coincidentally and wouldn’t do shots with me (he was upset about Kate Hudson at the time, so I’m not holding it against him).
Lastly, I just want to also note that this is something we should probably get on sooner rather than later. Her website doesn’t list her “appearance fee,” so I’m assuming Perez Hilton just got that piece of information from e-mailing her. With the above-linked story hitting the tubes today, there’s a chance that, if we don’t act soon, the same appearance could cost us $5,000 next week. I hear The Situation is already booking for upwards of $7,500.
*That’s my Jersey Shore Nickname.
P.S. If you think this is an asinine idea, I’d be happy to share some cabs with you or sell you my books/buy your books. I do not know any men in possession of any vans, though my mother does drive a minivan. It’s a Honda Odyssey and I think it’s quite nice. It’s dependable, roomy and gets good miles to the gallon.
Alas, Stevie K proved to be prophetic. This email was sent on December 23rd. But in the last few weeks, Snooki’s appearance fee has skyrocketed well past the point where humble law students can get in on the fun.
Snooki now commands serious dough to get drunk and try to hook-up sloppily with strangers:
About two weeks ago, many of you generously offered to donate money towards the admirable (some would say heroic) goal of bringing reality television royalty – one Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi – to the hallowed halls and neighborhood bars of NYU Law (see e-mail below if you are unaware of what I’m talking about). Alas, the fate I foresaw in that first e-mail on the matter (“there’s a chance that, if we don’t act soon, the same appearance could cost us $5,000 next week. I hear The Situation is already booking for upwards of $7,500.”) has devastatingly, and inevitably, come to pass.
After the support the idea found on Coases, I reached out to Snooki’s people, only for them to hem and haw around naming a specific price for her to appear and basically backburner my inquiries. Then, on January 7th, news came down that Snooki’s appearance fee had risen to a level commensurate with the illustrious DJ Pauly D and The Situation, hitting $7,500 ( http://perezhilton.com/2010-01-07-jersey-shore-back-for-more). While this fee increase is clearly rightfully deserved, as Snookie is an absolute delight deserving of every penny of that money, it might very well price us out of the endeavor, given the current economic climate and how hard it has hit the legal sector, in particular (I’m sure some of you may have heard about this – something involving mortgages, I believe).
And then just yesterday came a report that Snooki is fetching $10,000 to appear at an upcoming event (http://perezhilton.com/2010-01-10-its-good-to-be-snooki). Given these recent stratospheric fee increases, which I foresee continuing at least until we see the epic cast-wide Britney Spears-esque crash-and-burn that inevitably awaits our favorite part-time Seaside denizens, it would seem as though the opportunity to bring Snooki and her backflipping, poof-rocking, pickle-eating *je ne sais quoi* to NYU Law may have slipped through our fingers, short of a wealthy benefactor coming to the fore. We can always try to bring her in post-crash-and-burn, for a bargain basement price, but that might be more depressing than awesome.
I tell this all to you now not to ruin your first day back at classes, but because a number of people have asked me about the progress of this endeavor in classes and around the halls today, and I don’t have the stomach to see hearts break and hopes fall in front of my eyes any longer in person. So let this e-mail put an end to it: Snooki is lost to us. I’m sorry for any
hope I may have given you at the outset. If it’s any consolation, I have a line on possibly bringing some of the Real Housewives of New Jersey across the river for an event, so keep your eyes peeled for information about that.**
**This is not true.
Oh my gawd. Ten thousand dollars for a guidette to puke on your floor? Inflation is a bitch — when I was growing up on Long Island, we had these girls at our parties for free.
In any event, I know the legal economy has been tough, but there have have to be a few employed NYU Law alumni out there who would be willing to pitch in for a magical night at Off the Wagon. If Snooki is really too expensive, can’t they just hire the Hillside Honda girl and see what happens?
Earlier: Visiting Professor at NYU Makes a Mess of 1L Contracts Exam