Over the break, one NYU Law student started a movement to bring Nicole Polizzi (a.k.a. Snooki from the cast of Jersey Shore) to an NYU party. NYU students thought they could hang out with a drunk girl who likes to party, for just $2,000. Here’s the email that was sent to the NYU Law listserve:
Apparently, Snooki(e) from the Jersey Shore is charging $2,000 to make “personal appearances.” Basically, for 2-large, she will come to your party and get drunk and do cartwheels and fistpump and “battle on the floor” to techno “music” and try in vain to hook up with people and be generally awesome and delightful.
Here is where I got this information from: http://perezhilton.com/2009-12-22-rent-a-jersey-guidette-for-your-next-office-party
I want to note, first and foremost, that I neither agree with nor condone the general tone and candor of the Perez Hilton post. I think it’s not only distasteful and hateful, but dead wrong. Snooki(e) is one of the most delightful human beings ever to walk planet Earth and I need to hang out with her. I’m comfortable calling anyone who wouldn’t want to hang out with
her a “Silly Goose.”
That being said, $2,000 sounds like an absolute steal to me, so long as a good deal of people are willing to get together and throw down on bringing her in for a private party (we could rent out a small open bar somewhere). I have spoken to a number of friends already about this, several of whom are interested, which prompted me to see if Coases might be a fruitful avenue to pursue further subsidization of this event/personal dream of mine that I never knew I had until three weeks ago. If other people are down to get in on this heroic endeavor, which is sure to greatly enhance the lives of all those involved in ways we could never even dream of, please e-mail me saying so and letting me know the max you’d be willing to kick in towards the effort. I would genuinely like to see if we can make this thing happen.
Did they hit that? Details after the jump.
The message continues:
Alternatively, perhaps we could have her appear at the first SBA party of the new semester (which would save us all money, with NYU Law footing the bill). When was the last time we had a celebrity appearance at one of those things? And no, Owen Wilson at Blue & Gold in Spring 2k8 doesn’t count because he was just there coincidentally and wouldn’t do shots with me (he was upset about Kate Hudson at the time, so I’m not holding it against him).
Lastly, I just want to also note that this is something we should probably get on sooner rather than later. Her website doesn’t list her “appearance fee,” so I’m assuming Perez Hilton just got that piece of information from e-mailing her. With the above-linked story hitting the tubes today, there’s a chance that, if we don’t act soon, the same appearance could cost us $5,000 next week. I hear The Situation is already booking for upwards of $7,500.
Warm regards,
Stevie K*
*That’s my Jersey Shore Nickname.
P.S. If you think this is an asinine idea, I’d be happy to share some cabs with you or sell you my books/buy your books. I do not know any men in possession of any vans, though my mother does drive a minivan. It’s a Honda Odyssey and I think it’s quite nice. It’s dependable, roomy and gets good miles to the gallon.
Alas, Stevie K proved to be prophetic. This email was sent on December 23rd. But in the last few weeks, Snooki’s appearance fee has skyrocketed well past the point where humble law students can get in on the fun.
Snooki now commands serious dough to get drunk and try to hook-up sloppily with strangers:
Hello friends,
About two weeks ago, many of you generously offered to donate money towards the admirable (some would say heroic) goal of bringing reality television royalty – one Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi – to the hallowed halls and neighborhood bars of NYU Law (see e-mail below if you are unaware of what I’m talking about). Alas, the fate I foresaw in that first e-mail on the matter (“there’s a chance that, if we don’t act soon, the same appearance could cost us $5,000 next week. I hear The Situation is already booking for upwards of $7,500.”) has devastatingly, and inevitably, come to pass.
After the support the idea found on Coases, I reached out to Snooki’s people, only for them to hem and haw around naming a specific price for her to appear and basically backburner my inquiries. Then, on January 7th, news came down that Snooki’s appearance fee had risen to a level commensurate with the illustrious DJ Pauly D and The Situation, hitting $7,500 ( http://perezhilton.com/2010-01-07-jersey-shore-back-for-more). While this fee increase is clearly rightfully deserved, as Snookie is an absolute delight deserving of every penny of that money, it might very well price us out of the endeavor, given the current economic climate and how hard it has hit the legal sector, in particular (I’m sure some of you may have heard about this – something involving mortgages, I believe).
And then just yesterday came a report that Snooki is fetching $10,000 to appear at an upcoming event (http://perezhilton.com/2010-01-10-its-good-to-be-snooki). Given these recent stratospheric fee increases, which I foresee continuing at least until we see the epic cast-wide Britney Spears-esque crash-and-burn that inevitably awaits our favorite part-time Seaside denizens, it would seem as though the opportunity to bring Snooki and her backflipping, poof-rocking, pickle-eating *je ne sais quoi* to NYU Law may have slipped through our fingers, short of a wealthy benefactor coming to the fore. We can always try to bring her in post-crash-and-burn, for a bargain basement price, but that might be more depressing than awesome.
I tell this all to you now not to ruin your first day back at classes, but because a number of people have asked me about the progress of this endeavor in classes and around the halls today, and I don’t have the stomach to see hearts break and hopes fall in front of my eyes any longer in person. So let this e-mail put an end to it: Snooki is lost to us. I’m sorry for any
hope I may have given you at the outset. If it’s any consolation, I have a line on possibly bringing some of the Real Housewives of New Jersey across the river for an event, so keep your eyes peeled for information about that.**
Warm regards,
Stephen
**This is not true.
Oh my gawd. Ten thousand dollars for a guidette to puke on your floor? Inflation is a bitch — when I was growing up on Long Island, we had these girls at our parties for free.
In any event, I know the legal economy has been tough, but there have have to be a few employed NYU Law alumni out there who would be willing to pitch in for a magical night at Off the Wagon. If Snooki is really too expensive, can’t they just hire the Hillside Honda girl and see what happens?
Earlier: Visiting Professor at NYU Makes a Mess of 1L Contracts Exam
I am firsty, SO VERY FIRSTY :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7yj93cJl4g
Damn you #1 . . .
-#2
bad link, don’t do it. nsw.
2
you, son, were PWNED.
hugs&kisses
-1
I wouldn’t even fuck her with one of Mystal’s walrus tusks.
wtf is “Coases”?
Snooki has given new meaning to the phrase “I’d hit it.”
lawlz mystal, this was awesome. good call out on the hillside honda girl.
NYU law students are the dorkiest.
Off the Wagon is where dreams come true! That place rocks.
1/7: “You’ve made a very powerful enemy today, my friend.” – Charles Montgomery Burns
-2/4
Hi I’m a douchebag from NYU Law and I think it would be hilarious to pay money to bang some skank.
I did it all for the SNOOKI
I would hire Stevie K.
He can write and he’s entertaining.
That alone sets him apart from 95% of junior associates.
Wow, what passes for humor at NYU is pathetic. Jesus Christ.
Who be stupitter, Snooki or the average law student?
Q: Snooki, did you waste three years and 200K “earning” a law degree for which there are no jobs?
A: No.
Vlad: No further questions.
Snookers is a modern day sage.
This idiotic email from the NYU law student is a reason why I haven’t supported an NYU law hire since 1985.
God I love Snooki. 1,000x cooler to hang out with than your average lawyer/law student.
Partner Emeritus,
I guess none of your peer firms are in the V100, then.
the chick is fat and disgusting. since when is it ok to invite fat chicks to a party?
She looks like the leprechaun from the hit ’90s movie, Leprechaun.
24=disaster.
Snooki may be 3 feet tall and completely repulsive, but she has spectacular breasts.
elie: the reason the guidettes puking at your parties were free was due to the 4500 lbs of blubber on top of them.
This comment is addressed to post no. 22.
Unfortunately, my former firm has many NYU law hires but thankfully they do not comprise a majority. I haven’t been on the hiring committee since the early ’90s. I personally tried to avoid having an NYU law grad work on my projects or be part of my team. I have addressed the reasons why in past posts but this email is a reminder. The author of the email sounds like a celebrity stalker, which tells me he suffers from multiple mental infirmities.
Let’s see…skanky italian ho from Long Island…just post an ad for a legal secretary and you can have a hundred like her coming to your office for free.
The mere existence of Snookie reopens the abortion debate – I strongly believe that a 70-term abortion should be legal after watching Snookie on Jersey Shore.
31- Snooki is not from Long Island.
I just want to know how much it would cost for me to rent J-WOWW.
PE — Pretty sure you meant to address post no. 24.
Post No. 24 — PE didn’t say no NYU grads work at his former firm. He simply said he refused to support the hire of an NYU grad since the 1800s when he was last on the hiring committee.
Oooooh PE, you’re the BEST. I WUV YOU :)
Now that I know about this, I will consider making an alumni contribution.
31, FTW
I could’ve attended NYU Law; now I’m glad I didn’t. This is the same sort of striving shit you see at any other law school, except that it’s HIP and IRONIC. “Hey everyone, let’s invite a reality show star to a party so that we can all laugh at her ironically and shit and then in ten years at the reunion we can be all like, ‘Hey you remember when we booked Snooki,’ and we’ll all be like, ‘Yeah that was awesome.’”
At least the messages tell us approximately how much NYU law students value ostentatious displays of ironic hipsterism: it’s worth more than 2K, but not 10K.
I agree with 20. Right about now, the idiots from “Jersey Shore” look about 100xs smarter than law students who are currently 200K in debt.
Please remove the picture of Snookie. It’s offensive.
Snookie; is that Negro dialect for fat white honky whore?
NYU hiring snickers is not as retarded as Columbia vetting people for study groups. Carry on….
CHECK YOU BOLT-ONS.
Why are Italian chicks always getting punched in the face?
Is she Italian? Indian? Indian-Italian?
Why would you waste $2000 on a dancing monkey?
What a heinous sow! Please stop.
I think I saw her in a Faces of Death video and people were betting on her. Had something to do with a mallet and who would die first.
YES, I got PE to respond to a spurious argument.
-24
PS. The listserv email is EXACTLY why I chose YLS over NYU.
and you wonder why law students have so many student loans
39,
And that’s why I regret my decision to attend NYU law. Hipsters are people who poke fun of midwesterners, then fall over themselves to pay 5x the amount a midwesterner would pay to dress the same. Lacks content and originality. Nothing ironic about being a sheep.
$2,000 to show up and party but only $50 to show up and bang the house. Guidette ho economics at work.
Steve K. is not highly regarded at NYU Law.
I just want to know how much it would cost for me to rent Rozlyn from the Bachelor.
I would like to give it to Snookie in her butt.
5 minutes spent reading this terrible article i won’t get back
43 = personification of NYU inferiority complex.
Anybody who can’t pick up any random skank like Snookie is a LOSER. I’m sorry, but any random party I’ve ever been to in my entire life had at least a half-dozen of these “guidettes” eager to bang anything that moved. If you can’t get them to your parties for free, you should probably just stop throwing parties.
Jesus Christ law students are losers.
I work in Poughkeepsie (live in New Paltz). Snookers is our princess. Treat her with respect.
53 = Stevie K.
Isn’t Snooki Italian for “punch me”?
Stevie K. for public office!
10 – I’ve heard that joke before but it still makes me lol every time.
I’m not saying he should have hit her, but I understand.
58, these were not “Jesus Christ law students,” they were NYU law students.
And where is the Jesus Christ Law School anyway? I’m sure I should know this, but is it ABA-accredited?
Slightly off topic, but why do people who spend the whole summer sitting around doing nothing at a beach house have to go to a tanning parlor? Can’t they just, you know, go outside?
Please remind me why NYU didn’t win douchiest law school?
66 – the Jesus Christ Law School is not accredited by the ABA, it answers to a higher power.
Guys from my High School used pay $2k all the time to hang out with snookie, it was no big deal.
Frat Stud
When I saw the headline and the picture of this post, I thought Snookie was headed to NYU Law in the Fall. Is it bad that I wasn’t shocked?
Snooki ate Jesus.
she’s not worth 2 cents let alone the orginal 2 grand and never the 10k figure she is now quoting.
Good lord NYU, you’re a bridge or a tunnel away from hanging out with Jersey trash for free any night of the week. Hell, go find some douchy bar frequented by 1st year Wall Street analysts, you’ll be swimming in guidettes.
If you’ll pay $2,000 hang out with Snooki, what other cheap-as-free shit can we sell you?
71 – I thought the same thing. She could easily get into their TTT undergrad, why not the TTT law school?
I am disappointed that she will not be attending NYU. I am sure she would have made ATL at least once a semester for her antics. Back to being morose about the cold
I thought Snookie was hot until I saw how tall she was. I gotta believe there was a developmental flaw somewhere along the line.
Can you say great student run “Job Fair” event? Come on people think!!!! … if you got 50 students to pony up $200 each and cut this scud a check for 10g the payoff would be big … INVITE THE CORRECT PEOPLE and guarantee a meet/greet … All 50 organizers would get the job of their choice upon meeting the INVITES … then over charge your fellow students and make back the nut + $VIG … YOU CANT LOOSE
Can you say great student run “Job Fair” event? Come on people think!!!! … if you got 50 students to pony up $200 each and cut this scud a check for 10g the payoff would be big … INVITE THE CORRECT PEOPLE and guarantee a meet/greet … All 50 organizers would get the job of their choice upon meeting the INVITES … then over charge your fellow students and make back the nut + $VIG … YOU CANT LOOSE
Any guy who does not like a girl that is this delightful and fun is either gay or needs to get a clue. Any girl that doesn’t like her is obviously jealous or bitter that some girls can enjoy life and have so much fun while others slave away.
Agree with 74. As a NYU Law alum, it shows how isolated students are. Anyone who wants to go to any other borough can find someone identical to the people on Jersey Shore. The funny part average NYU student would find them very offensive b/c they aren’t pc.
As for Stephen K., he is highly annoying. He uses coases to bash Republicans (see his Halloween post) and writes stupid emails about challenging Rep. Israel in a primary. His schtick is old and annoying. Thus, he might be perfect for ATL.
She looks like a vampire.
80 = fat friend
This email was actually written by Yale 3L Nesberto Wilson.
Snooki is hot. You are gay. That is all.
This is exactly what’s wrong with America
83 = dates bland pasty white chicks who wear turtlenecks.
87 = fat friend
We need to bomb the Jersey Shore back to the stoneage!
-DOJ Secure
<3 NYU and the real Steve K.!
-NYU Law alum
<3 NYU and the real Steve K.!
-NYU Law alum
That email is great, and hanging out with Snickers would be killer. Anyone who disagrees hates life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, “whatever comment number this is = Stevsie Kay, or NYU student or something.”
92 = Gym, Tan, Laundry Fail
GTL Authority
I’m I the only one who thinks Snookie is butt ugly. First she is fat, sirry there is no other way to say it. Just because you have big boobs does not mean you are not fat, and Snookie, you are FAT by anyone’s standards. Second, her face is ugly, enough said. Third, one could have a far more interesting coversation with a tree, chair, or any other inanimate object. If there were ever a trial for why the rest of the world hates America, Jersey Shore would be exhibit 1, and quite frankly, the only exhibit needed.
my eyes, my eyes ….she’s so ugly…my eyes
Fat, orange, ugly, tacky and stupid. Why not just hire a stripper for way less? At least she (probably) won’t be fat.
92 = insult prediction fail
Snooki saw mines once and took off her Calvin Klines. But I saw tampax, gonorrhea, red stop signs.
93 = 97 = a really, really, really sexy person, ya know?
93 = comment of the day.
93 = comment of the day.
93 = 97 = Funniest person on the Internet
Fat chicks need love too
She is not fat, she is husky
East Coast turd piles you lick Snookie’s hemorrhoids.
East Coast turd piles you lick Snookie’s hemorrhoids.
This would never happen at Columbia.
Yeah, we would get This Situation.
I mean the tf would be pretty good (and if you don’t know what tf means, the t stands for tit, so… figure it out).
I once saw Stevie K. not wash his hands after pooping in the men’s room. True story.
I saw him kill a yak once for no reason. True story.
THIS PENGUIN IS MINE!
GOT THAT?
ONLY FRANK REYNOLDS IS ALLOWED TO BANG THIS BROAD!
I don’t want any greasy lawyer juice on my roly poly princess.
i don’t know stevie k but i did find his message on coases to be highly annoying
nyu 1L
Stevie, hands off my bang maid
Ugh, thanks a lot, Elie. Now that you’ve given Stevie K. attention he will never stop clogging up the NYU listhost with his frequent, obnoxious, and terminally unfunny e-mails.
Please stop associating him with the rest of us. Nobody likes him.
–NYU Student Against Stevie K.
The Hillside Honda girl will do ass to mouth for that price, but then again, so will the Hillside Honda guy.
I feel like I could make an honest woman out of her.
They don’t make a condom thick enough to make me feel safe with this “girl”….maybe one of those silicone pot holders would work…..
I think she is cute as a button.
yes….a button found on the men’s room floor at an adult book store in Times Square, circa 1978….
Eh. Back when I was a party girl, it was our goal to never look or behave like this.
Part of the new “Skankification Project” Hollywood is feeding our youth…..
Part of the new “Skankification Project” Hollywood is feeding our youth…..
Stevie K to Weil GoTTTshal.
To current NYU Students: please stop making NYU Law look retarded. Some of us really need this degree to hold its cache over the next few years.
Sincerely,
NYU 08
Latham’d 09
Cachet, 126, not cache. Two different words with two different meanings.
At least the e-mails are well-written and don’t have anything misspelled, which is more than can be said of the NYU student in 103 and the alums in 81 and 126. CLS > NYU. Please keep making yourself look like idiots.
Hell, this writer appears to be even more entertaining than Snooki, what are his rates? (Yeah, I got the whole she’s a non-Victorian ready to cut loose at your party, and Stephan is, well, a dude.) Bet he’s cheaper though!
Where do I go to return my NYU Law diploma?
It’s AMAZING how AWESOME NYU Law is, ya know? We’re just a really cool bunch of people. The students and alumni who are tapping away on their macbooks about how this makes NYU Law look bad or about how Stevie K doesn’t represent the school at large are missing the point. Stop living in fear, ya turkeys! This is one of those rare ATL posts that is funny and entertaining even to those outside of the legal community. The fact that it seems to be ruffling some feathers around here just makes it all the more glorious. I certainly didn’t go to lawschool to give up any semblance of personality that I have, and I certainly hope that most of you realize that your bleating on here gets you nowhere.
So I say that this fellow does represent us, and I’m not embarrassed by this at all. You are all right: we are hipsters, we are kind of ridiculous, and we do like to screw around. We also a tremendously smart and accomplished group of students. We stroll into top tier firms with ease, or take on challenging public interest jobs. We’re also a top ranked school located in the best part of the best city in the world. Our student body is different indeed and it’s great that so many feel like we don’t belong in the top 5. Who wants to go to a crappy party and BELONG? F that. I’m enjoying the hell out of my time in law school and, despite the rough economy, things are coming up ROSES.
I love you all so much. Each and every one of you is special to me in a way that I just can’t put into words, despite by impressive brief-writing skills.
You are all beautiful in your own special way. And so it is, with a heart that is so close to bursting that you would think I am looking at footage of a shopping bag soaring in the breeze, that I paraphrase the great Nick Cave who advises that you must, above all things, love yourself.
Now leave us alone, because we’re having a good time here.
NYU 3L
what that guy said
128=an idiot. 131=Steve K.
Steve K’s email was neither well-written nor funny. I suspect you may be Steve K. He is a moron and I lost all respect for Weil for making him offer. I can only hope someone posts his unfunny and offensive Halloween post on ATL.
P.S. Steve, lose the eye brow ring.
From 133:
“I lost all respect for Weil for making him offer”
You may want to proofread before criticizing somebody’s writing.
You also sound like you’re kind of a jerk.
” I’m comfortable calling anyone who wouldn’t want to hang out with her a “Silly Goose.”
Only a CLS student such as 128 would find this funny.
133 – I’ve known him for three years now and he definitely has never had an eyebrow ring (and doesn’t right now). I don’t know what you’re talking about.
133 – I’ve known him for going on three years now and he definitely has never had an eyebrow ring (and doesn’t have on right now). You don’t know what you’re talking about.
134, not really. Why should anyone proofread an anonymous blog comment? Only losers such as yourself care about that kind of stuff. In Steve K’s case, he is sending an email to the entire school. The funny part is he is so lame that instead of enjoying Amsterdam, he is sending out long-winded unfunny emails to the entire school.
You sound like you are one of his three friends at the law school.
OMG this is just a stupid email meant to be funny and entertaining. If you think it’s lame, then just filter the guy’s emails into your Spam folder so you never have to deal with them again. Seriously, I don’t know what possesses some people to anonymously insult others over the Internet. It just makes you look worse than whoever you’re bashing. You guys need to RELAX.
Nicole Polizzi is the Tila Tequila of New Jersey.
131 doesn’t represent us re: our representation of Stevie K.
–NYU Represents
Guys at my high school used pay drunk guidettes to come puke on their floors all the time. It was no big deal.
GULC=TTT
-WCL ‘11
GULC=TTT
-WCL ‘11
Maybe someday she will go to law school (as a student).