Celebrities

The Question Of Our Times: Is Johnny Depp Still Dating His Attorney?

*Sways drunkenly* It's just not working out, savvy?

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(Photo by Ron Sachs/Consolidated News Pictures/Getty Images)

As lawyers, there are questions that keep us up at night. Would we have judicial review if SCOTUS just demanded that that damned letter be delivered? How learned is Learned Hand really if he knew that his fundamental formula for determining damages would be handed down to a group of people who are infamously bad at math? This last one is the real kicker — is Johnny Depp still dating that lawyer lady, Schillings partner Joelle Rich, who represented him during his defamation case in the UK against The Sun?

While the answer remains unclear, there is reason to believe that the waters are troubled.

[T]here was no sign of the actor when Rich attended a family wedding in Ibiza last weekend and sources in New York believe that the relationship is fizzling out — and may actually already be over. A friend of Depp’s said: ‘Are they still an item? We are not talking about a normal couple here. It’s not a big, stable, committed love affair and I’m not sure that it ever was.’ The source added: ‘I don’t know if they are together in any way at this point. Certainly I don’t believe it is a serious romantic relationship, or even an exclusive one.’

I wonder which of these Sauvages broke it up? Did Johnny Boy pull a whiplash and let her off before her love could ruin his next star role in a film about space pirate zombies? Or did she call it quits because John John took too many privileges based on their attorney-client relationship. I ultimately don’t know. This is entirely speculative — Johnny could have just been elsewhere recording another fragrance commercial.

I do now that covering this is a nice break from focusing on which right SCOTUS will undo next — almost as nice as the break you’re taking from hitting your billables. Let’s both get back to work, shall we?

Johnny Depp And Glamorous London Lawyer’s Fling Fizzles Out [MSN]

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Chris Williams became a social media manager and assistant editor for Above the Law in June 2021. Prior to joining the staff, he moonlighted as a minor Memelord™ in the Facebook group Law School Memes for Edgy T14s.  He endured Missouri long enough to graduate from Washington University in St. Louis School of Law. He is a former boatbuilder who cannot swim, a published author on critical race theory, philosophy, and humor, and has a love for cycling that occasionally annoys his peers. You can reach him by email at cwilliams@abovethelaw.com and by tweet at @WritesForRent.

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