Here at Above the Law, we’re used to seeing funny and fiery departure memos. But the one we were forwarded last night is truly a special treat.
Here’s the set up. The memo comes out of a small firm in the Atlanta area. It was written by a paralegal — we’ll call her “Blaze of Glory.” She had some very pointed things to say about one of the associates, who we’ll call “Attila.” A partner at the firm, “My Name is Pitt,” is also referenced in the memo. All the rest of the backstory comes from a tipster:
I am told that the ENTIRE firm was blind copied when this email was sent. Now there’s only about 20 or so attorneys at this firm, however, the firm also includes about [a much larger number of] paralegals/legal assistants. A few words cannot describe this email; you just have to read the email to believe it.
Oh, this is going to be fun …
The great thing about working at a small firm is that you get to work closely with your colleagues. Of course, if you happen to hate your colleagues, memos like this happen:
From: [Blaze of Glory]
Sent: Wednesday, March 31, 2010
I have never been happier than today when I get to tell you goodbye! I would like to say it’s been a pleasure but it has been anything but that. Maybe if you hadn’t have been a rude, moody, hateful, and condescending banshee on a power trip then things would be different, but their not. You have shown a mass amount of disrespect to each and every employee in this department.
Hearing you call someone an “F-ing Moron” behind their back after they leave your office is one of the RUDEST things a boss could say about their employee. If you are so much smarter than they are, why do you choose a vocabulary of a middle school student? I’m so glad I no longer have to listen to your daily doses of calling [My Name is Pitt] a Bitch or the various other things that have come out of your mouth disrespecting her or anyone else just because. I guess it isn’t enough that you are a miserable sad person, but you make it a point to make everyone else around you miserable too. Not to mention your lack of guidance or provision of proper training. It’s pathetic!!! But I guess that’s all a part of how you work isn’t it?
Secondly, don’t think I am oblivious to how you like to pick a target and just belittle that person and abuse them until they either quit, you make a case against them and have them fired, or they get moved to another department. If they aren’t a butt kisser, you have it out for them. DISGUSTING! I’ve seen it done so many times in the short time I have been here. Your personal vendetta against someone for things not even work related is getting very tired. Several hard-working good employees have been run off by you. Maybe the partners of the firm will come to this realization and have your lame ass fired! I’m sure there would be 250+ people to cheer that day! … And me? Well I have been your latest target, and I have news for you, you don’t got nothing on me! The joke is on you! I walk out today with my head up!
I am glad to be removing myself from having to hear you constantly drop the F-bomb hundreds of times a day, or how you constantly scream “G-D” over the smallest of issues. That really screams professionalism let me tell you. I guess it just goes to show that even a good education can’t give you simple skills on how to work with people. So hats off to you, here is your award…. ,
I’ll have to describe the award to you, because we can’t show it. Blaze of Glory attached a couple of pictures of Attila, sloppy drunk at an area bar. Class all the way.
We did reach out to Attila to give her an opportunity to respond, but she did not respond to our request for comment.
Do you think Attila will get in trouble because of this one paralegal’s departure memo? I doubt it, but the relationship between Attila and partner My Name is Pitt is surely damaged.
Earlier: Departing with Flair