Career Alternatives, Fashion, Fashion Is Fun, Weirdness

Career Alternatives for Attorneys: Fart Fighting?

No, that’s not a typo; we’re not talking about firefighting. We’re talking about fart fighting. From our sister site, the fabulous Fashionista:

There’s no graceful way to introduce this product, so we’ll just cut to the chase: “Subtle Butt” is a disposable patch of fabric with an “activated carbon layer… to which stench adheres and gets neutralized.” Except there’s nothing subtle about farting.

In short, Subtle Butt is a small square of fabric you stick to your underwear just in case you lay a real stinky egg. If it’s loud, you’re on your own. Subtle Butt does nothing to muffle sound. Gross.

This product sounds like a gas — and very useful for lawyers. Imagine you’re in a marathon negotiation session for a billion-dollar merger, or deposing the opposing party’s CEO, and that Mexican food you ordered from Seamless Web has given you flatulence.

Do you really want to waste precious (billable) time by stopping the proceedings and stepping out of the conference room, just to toot your own kazoo? If Subtle Butt has you covered, just let it rip — and cough really loudly or drop binders on the floor, to cover up the noise.

In light of Subtle Butt’s utility for attorneys, it shouldn’t be a surprise that the inventor is a lawyer….

Meet Kim Olenicoff, founder of Solutions That Stick, which sells Subtle Butt (among many other products). When she’s not coming up with clever inventions to fight farts, Olenicoff practices bankruptcy law in Orange County, at Olenicoff & Zisner. She received her law and business degrees from USC and has been a member of the California bar since 1999.

Olenicoff isn’t just the inventor of Subtle Butt; she’s also a user. As she told StyleList:

I use them on airplanes, after a chili meal, and even on my dog. Some customers have even told me that it’s saved their marriage!

Airplane usage? Brilliant. Given how many attorneys achieve elite status on multiple airlines, this sounds like just what the gastroenterologist ordered. It’s not healthy to hold in your farts on that six-hour flight between the East and West Coasts.

As for our readers in the great middle of the country, the Texans will definitely appreciate Olenicoff’s suggestion of using after chili. And there are more target users, according to Olenicoff:

People with IBS and food allergies definitely gravitate toward these, too. It’s kind of embarrassing, but it’s better to have it in and not be embarrassed.

Indeed. Can you imagine laying an egregiously odoriferous egg while pitching business to a top general counsel? That fart could cost you hundreds of thousands or even millions of dollars; Subtle Butt costs just $11.95 (for five pieces).

According to StyleList, Olenicoff developed the idea for her company — Solutions That Stick, which makes adhesive-based products aimed at everyday problems — while still in law school. Law students would be wise to emulate such entrepreneurial effort. Given the tough legal job market, which we write about constantly in these pages, it’s good to have an alternative career or a back-up plan — even if it’s something as unglamorous as fighting farts.

We’ve given you just a whiff of Subtle Butt. Read more about this ingenious product over at Fashionista or StyleList — or odor order Subtle Butt from Solutions That Stick, and try it for yourself.

Have questions about how to use Subtle Butt? Just watch this instructional video — which Leah Chernikoff of Fashionista accurately describes as “equal parts hilarious and disgusting”:

Holy Crap: Stick-On Fart Neutralizers Are Things That Exist [Fashionista]
Subtle Butt Prevents ‘Fragrant’ Faux Pas [StyleList]
Subtle Butt Instructional Video [YouTube]
Solutions That Stick [official website]
Bio: Kelly Zinser [Olenicoff & Zinser]

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