What Can You Do With A J.D.? Whatever You Do, Don't Get Old.

Here’s a fun little story about the immense, door-opening possibilities you can enjoy once you have a J.D. and/or legal experience. From the ABA Journal:

With 23 years of legal experience, Laurie-[E]llen Shumaker thought she would soon find another job when she was laid off in January 2009 from her position as a shopping center lawyer.

But today, after applying for over 1,000 jobs—including positions as a clerk and a day care worker—Shumaker, who is nearly 60 years old, has landed exactly zero interviews…

The Huffington Post has Shumaker’s full story. At this point, the 59-year-old grandmother just wants to know if she’s too old, or has one too many X chromosomes, to find work…

The shocking thing is that Shumaker — who apparently went to a top-tier law school — hasn’t even been able to land an interview:

“It’s frightening,” she told HuffPost. “Interviews are like seeking unicorns. I’ve even gotten a status update on two different jobs saying I’m the best qualified, but then I never hear anything after that. It’s hard not to rake through one’s brain trying to figure out why. Is it my age or my gender holding me back?”

Wonderful little economy we have going here. Wouldn’t it be great if we lived in a compassionate society where Shumaker could at least marshal her savings towards supporting her family instead of maintaining her health?

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Shumaker, who was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 1997, says she has drained her savings and 401K to pay for her medical bills as well as her daughter’s, who recently had to undergo a serious surgery that the insurance company refused to cover. The federal subsidy for her COBRA payments ran out last month, her COBRA coverage will run out next month, and she is expecting her unemployment benefits to run out any minute now.

Sorry, didn’t mean to start the morning with such a downer of a story. Don’t mind me, I’m just a mean old dream crusher who eats unicorns for lunch. Laurie-Ellen Shumaker is probably just unlucky or has some crazy entitlement hang-up.

Frustrated Unemployed Woman: ‘Interviews Are Like Seeking Unicorns’ [Huffington Post]
Unemployed Lawyer Applies for 1,000 Jobs, Scores Zero Interviews [ABA Journal]

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