Usually when we report on jobs that have been posted on Craigslist, we’re talking about some kind of horrifying example of how the open market values attorneys at about the same level it values responsible high school girls. But today we have a legal job that most lawyers couldn’t have performed in high school. At the very least, one needs to be of legal drinking age to compete for this position.
The job ad is from the firm Strike & Techel. The homepage of the San Francisco-based shop claims that the firm “practices exclusively in the field of alcohol beverage law.”
So put down your tobacco and firearms, crack open a cold one, and ponder the wonders of making a living off of alcohol… and law and stuff…
Alcoholic beverage law sounds like a 3L seminar one takes in order to protect a sterling GPA. But apparently there are lawyers who making a living off of this field of law, and they don’t even have mob connections (we think). Here’s the Craigslist ad:
Strike & Techel LLP, a young and growing firm specializing in alcoholic beverage law, is seeking an associate attorney with 2-3 years of law firm experience and enthusiasm for the field. The firm represents a broad range of clients, from wineries to importers to retailers, and therefore provides comprehensive counsel on all beverage industry concerns. Much of our practice is related to marketing and trademark law, as well as handling regulatory compliance issues with the California ABC and other states’ alcohol agencies. For more information about the firm, check out www.strikeandtechel.com.
Alright, now from that description it doesn’t sound like you need a Bonobo Bro-esque facility with alcohols from rubbing to rum in order to land this job. But there’s more:
Alcohol beverage law experience is not required but strong analytical, writing and communication skills are essential. Superior academic credentials preferred. An engaging personality and a sense of humor also would be highly regarded. If you think that you’d be a great fit with us, please send us your resume, a sample blog post (modeled on the ones on our website) about a current alcoholic beverage issue that has caught your attention, a cover letter, references and salary requirements. In the cover letter, please tell us why you chose the issue in your blog sample and why you are interested in alcoholic beverage law. We will be accepting resumes through the end of September.
Did you catch the fun requirement there? The firm has a blog about alcohol law, and you’ll be expected to contribute. The title of the blog? “Imbiblog.” Isn’t that delightful? How many legal jobs out there want you to use your skills as a lawyer and as a writer about all things alcohol-related? And the blog isn’t written in a boring, law-review-note-with-emoticons style. People might actually read posts like Alcohol and Social Networking:
One of our areas of focus at Strike & Techel is the regulatory framework for the advertising and promotion of alcoholic beverages. Under that lens, we’ve been curiously watching the proliferation of alcohol marketing via social networks.
These kinds of posts could lead to excellent conversations with partners at Strike:
PARTNER: Johnson, have you finished that research on liquor licenses at strip joints?
JOHNSON: I’m still trying to figure out if our client, 69ers, is in violation of its provisional approval. I think I need to go down there and conduct some interviews.
PARTNER: Well do it, Johnson. It’s happy hour, take some initiative and go down there and see what they’re selling. Make sure you check out the back rooms too. Our clients always think that the champagne room is some kind of law-free-zone.
JOHNSON: Will do sir, but first I need to ice a few more bros; I’m researching what it has done to Smirnoff’s market share.
PARTNER: Oh, good work there Johnson. Sorry for snapping at you. Just make sure you don’t drink that swill yourself — grab some of the good stuff out of petty cash.
Okay, it’s probably not like that every day at Strike & Techel. But if you can’t find a way to have a little on-the-job fun at an alcoholic-beverage law firm, then this “being a lawyer” thing is probably not something you are going to ultimately enjoy.
And if you’ve been spending your unemployment getting ridiculously drunk and bemoaning your fate, well, here’s the California dream you’ve been waiting for.