Non-Sequiturs

Non-Sequiturs: 11.19.20

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* The president of Duke begs students to stop acting like douches. Good luck! I beg my dog to learn how to use the toilet while I’m at work, but every evening she needs to dookie in the street. [The Not-So Private Parts / Forbes]

* Over there, that thing slinking along the ground, is that “the bonus”? No, NO, that’s the layoff monster. We should get out of here before it notices us. [Law Shucks]

* Ladies, what’s the best thing about being a woman? Is it the emotional security that comes from knowing nobody ever had a party to celebrate chopping off a part of your genitals? [WSJ Law Blog]

* Good job, MSNBC. You’ve managed to create an environment where you have to conduct witch hunts against your own on air talent. “Now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.” [Politico]

* If TSA is still molesting people like this as they try to get to their Thanksgiving destinations, there could be a full-on riot  at major American airports. To cut tensions, I think that anybody who is groped by TSA should be given one free orgasm by the airline employee of their choice. [Jezebel]

* Don’t forget to check out this job opening for a junior litigation associate. [Above the Law (sponsored content)]

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