Mean Judge Keeps Trump Apart From Doting Wife On Her Birthday. Send Money!
How much would she pay to get him in a facility that bans conjugal visits?
(Photo by Neilson Barnard/Getty Images for European School of Economics Foundation)
Donald Trump would like to remind the world that his wife hates him.
During the past two weeks of his criminal trial in Manhattan, not a single member of Trump’s family has been present in the courtroom. His wife “Melanie” has failed to show up and support her husband, despite the fact that the courthouse is just a short ride from the 30,000 11,000 square foot apartment where she spent the first six months of the Trump administration renegotiating her prenup at a cost of millions of dollars in extra security courtesy of American taxpayers.
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She reportedly renegotiated it again last year, but didn’t get enough to make it worth her while to show up and listen to women describe getting paid to keep quiet about sleeping with her husband when she was pregnant and home with their newborn son. Or maybe she’s just too busy hanging out with LGB(but not T!) Republicans on her one campaign stop so far — for which she didn’t even have to leave the house.
“I want to start by wishing my wife Melania a happy birthday,” Trump babbled to reporters in the hall outside the courtroom this morning. “It’d be nice to be with her, but I’m in a courthouse for a rigged trial.”
Later he added that his wife was in Florida, and he’d be spending the evening with her. No doubt she’s relieved to have his company on this special day!
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At least in the civil fraud trial, Eric Trump managed to show his face on the regular. Of course he was actually a defendant in that case, so he had skin in the game. But now that his dad’s alone in the dock, the Trump clan is leaving it to the help to elbow him awake before he starts audibly snoring and the drool puddles.
If asked, Trump would probably say that his wife can’t get through the miles of barricades erected around the courthouse to stop his millions of supporters from showing their support.
The reality is somewhat different, although the rightwing reporters noting with shock that they weren’t instantly murdered by marauding gangs of MS-13 immigrant Antifa members upon entering the city limits is good fun, too.
But they would probably agree that the only thing which can right the grievous wrong of keeping a dutiful husband away from his doting wife on her birthday is a campaign contribution.
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Stand with Trump! It’s what Melania would want someone else to do on her special day.
Liz Dye lives in Baltimore where she produces the Law and Chaos substack and podcast.
