With Valentine’s Day swiftly approaching, now seems like a great to time to relaunch ATL’s Courtship Connection — our well-intentioned but only sporadically successful program for hooking up our single legal-eagle readers.
Like the Real World, the series is back and in a new city. Judging from the date we’ll now recount, our matchmaking adventures in D.C may be as disappointing as the eight strangers MTV picked to live in a Dupont Circle house last year. (But hey, dating through Above The Law has got to turn out better than dating through Craigslist in D.C.)
This was an East Coast (him) meets West Coast (her) match. Both were of the politically-liberal persuasion. I matched these two top law grads in the 25-35 age range in part because I thought they would look good together. Both are hotties. When asked to describe themselves in three words, neither could stick to the word limit. He said he was a “brainy, preppy reformed frat-guy” and she said she was “disarmingly feisty and unabashedly vivacious.”
I should not have been so superficial. While he enjoyed her vivacity, she enjoyed… writing up a feisty recap of the date….
As an avid reader of ATL, I was totally amped for this date. Call me old fashioned but I’ve never done online dating or been on a blind date. I figured there really couldn’t be a downside. Right?
Well… I sort of want my 13 bucks back. (That’s right, we split the check.)
Here was his recap. At least one person had a good time on the date:
I was the first to arrive at the wine bar. As I sat there, I began questioning why I ever thought it was a good idea to get set up with a complete stranger by a complete stranger based solely on my answers to a short questionnaire (is it really possible to determine compatibility based on someone’s favorite SCOTUS justice?). But I was up for an adventure. I had no idea what to expect but when my date got there, I was glad to meet her and happy that I’d submitted my fate to Kash’s matchmaking skills.
He’s probably not feeling that way anymore.
My date was very attractive, bright, and worldly, with a warm smile and a pleasant, sociable personality. We ordered a couple appetizers and drinks (her a cocktail and me a beer, despite being at a wine bar). Our conversation including such topics as our love of Above the Law, our lack of interest in professional football, people who live in closets, and our polar opposite jobs (her government job is too slow paced; I feel overworked at my law firm). We realized that we have some things in common in that we both spent time on the West Coast and we both like to travel.
We left the bar and walked a few blocks together before parting ways. We exchanged contact information and she said she’d facebook me (no invite yet so maybe she changed her mind, or perhaps she’s waiting to read this review?). Anyway, I’m not certain what will happen next. I think our personalities are a bit different, but she’s a very impressive person so definitely someone I’d be happy to get to know better.
Her review took a little while to arrive. When it did, I discovered why our blindsided lawyer had not yet been poked on Facebook. She says:
We met at a wine bar on a Sunday night. But not just any Sunday night, Super Bowl Sunday. I found it a bit odd that he would agree to meet during the game, but tried to take that as a sign that… we could still hit it off? I live with two guys and let’s just say the consensus was not good.
The date was unmemorable. As in, I really don’t remember much of it. I’m not sure if I would even recognize him if I walked past him on the street. He was very… normal. The conversation was average, nothing particularly entertaining, and despite my efforts to take the conversation somewhere non-mainstream, we talked about average, normal things.
Talking about people who live in closets was apparently not quirky enough for her:
He didn’t seem particularly adventurous with food either, and that is an automatic deal breaker for me. As is being average. We maintained this still, boring back-and-forth even with the Black Eyed Peas halftime show blaring in the background. So much wasted conversation fodder, as this was the date that would not be anything but normal and nice and average and boring.
They may have been the only people in America not coming up with inventive ways to bash the BEP’s painful Tron-inspired performance. Too bad these two didn’t have an Usher to swoop in and save the date.
We did the obligatory phone number exchange. In fact, he gave me his business card- which I found strange and only confirmed my suspicions that I had unwittingly been on a job interview. Well, the joke’s on him, because I’ve definitely been on more fun interviews!
(C’mon, you live in D.C. Exchanging biz cards is basically first base.)
So there was no spark, which I think we both knew.
Correction: Just one of you knew this.
After dinner, we walked down the street in the same direction for a bit. He probably did the predictable thing and went home. I went to a Super Bowl party a block away and drank an entire bottle of wine. Late in the night I was drunk-dialed by an ex who had been at a party with midget strippers. I know, awesome right? It made me miss him.
We seem to have different definitions of “awesome.”
All in all, he was a nice, normal guy. No edge. The most animated I saw him was when he tried to fight me on splitting the bill, but clearly he didn’t fight me that hard since we ended up splitting. I am surprised that he did that since clearly the man should ALWAYS INSIST ON PAYING. And he knew he was being reviewed so…
I wish it had been more exciting so I could tell you how we went back to my place and hooked up, but alas Kash, matchmaking may not be your strong suit. But if you want to set me up again with someone more my type (aka really hot, quirky, and a commitment-phobic womanizer) perhaps you’ll finally get the story you’ve been after!
If anyone would like to be set up with a lawyer with a high tolerance for alcohol and a low tolerance for boredom, drop us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Hopefully, things improve from here for the Courtship Connection.