August 2014

* Anna Anna Anna Anna Anna Nicole! I guess the ladies of the Supreme Court loved her show, because they all dissented when the majority took $400M away from her estate. [New York Post]

* Lindsay Lohan avoids jail again, because “poor judgment” is not a violation of her probation. I guess she now has the judge’s blessing to film I Know Who Killed Me 2. [CNN Entertainment]

* “Need clients, will litigate for moonshine.” A lawyer in Virginia is suing to protect the panhandling rights of the homeless. [The Hook]

* P. Diddy settled a multi-million dollar suit out of his own pocket. It’s all about the benjamins, baby, we can look forward to stupid reality shows so he can recoup the cash. [Daily Mail]

* Professional responsibility fail: a New York lawyer may inherit $500K from a recluse millionairess. Did I mention he drafted the will himself? [New York Times]

* Jews and Muslims hold hands to block a ballot initiative because nobody likes an anteater. Stay tuned for more news from the Circumcision Law desk, a cut above the rest. [Wall Street Journal]

At this stage in our Fictional Lawyer Madness bracket, the very, very young ATL summer intern has a perfect bracket so far, and mine is tanking. I picked based on who I thought you crazy readers would vote for. The fetus picked based on the lawyers he had actually heard of.

The lesson, as always, is that Millennials are really the worst generation ever and I can only hope to be dead before they take control of the government.

In case you missed it, here is part one of the sweet sixteen.

In any event, on to part two of the sweet sixteen.

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* Robert Wone’s wrongful death case settled out of court, but no details have been released. I guess that’s the end of several years of legal drama. [Who Murdered Robert Wone?]

* Mobster Whitey Bulger was on the run for more than 15 years, but was finally arrested last night. I hope we get a movie out of this, because The Departed was awesome. [WSJ Law Blog]

* A lawyer in Texas killed a 900 pound alligator. That’s probably a cool achievement as a hunter, but all I’m thinking about is the billions of cute accessories that could’ve been made. [ABA Journal]

* I don’t know how it would’ve been possible for me to juggle law school and a family, but Keith Lee has some suggestions. Plus, I can’t juggle, so I probably would’ve dropped some balls, or a baby. [An Associate's Mind]

* The ABA will continue to defend liberty and pursue justice, but will not advance lawyers. Good call — don’t want any false advertising lawsuits on your hands. [Constitutional Daily]

* A quick primer on how criminal defense counsel can turn it around on the police if they refuse to speak with you. The key is using their own backwards logic. [Underdog]

* Not so much legal as it is disgusting. I guess they call it Bed Bath and Beyond for a reason, because 35 pounds of biohazard vomit definitely falls under “beyond.” [NBC Philadelphia]

Are flip-flops part of the new uniform for lawyers?

At Quinn Emanuel Urquhart & Sullivan, no shoes, no shirt, no problem! Well, actually you’ll need the shoes, but the rest can be sacrificed if you need to for your own creativity.

When thinking of how lawyers are supposed to look, most people conjure visions of sharply-dressed men and women in suits, carrying designer leather briefcases. Back in the day, most, if not all lawyers, dressed the part. There’s a good reason for that; looking professional makes it seem as if a lawyer’s services are going to be equally as professional.

The majority of Biglaw firms have tried to keep the old school status quo in terms of dress codes (take Jones Day’s nanny-state dress code, for example). But for firms who like to think outside the blouse box, well, CHECK YOU FLIP-FLOPS.

That’s right, litigation powerhouse Quinn Emanuel cares more about your briefs than whether or not you are wearing underwear…

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Oh, to be a newborn babe. A bright Cherub of innocence and hope who opens his eyes for the first time to look upon the world as if it were new. Oh, to be a administrator at John Marshall Law School in Atlanta and see a brave new world with such people in it.

Yes people, today is the day that John Marshall Law School set up its very own Facebook page for prospective students. Yes, yes, we are dealing with veritable scions of forward thinking. Early adopters all!

Just listen to the glory of having a school Facebook profile, as explained by those same innovators at John Marshall…

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Before I sat down to write this column, I thought I knew what trolls were. Answer: they are the men who I dated in law school. Apparently, that is only partially true. Trolls are also a potential revenue source for small firms.

The term “patent trolls” is a controversial term with multiple meanings. According to Wikipedia, the definition includes a party that does one or more of the following:

• Purchases a patent, often from a bankrupt firm, and then sues another company by claiming that one of its products infringes on the purchased patent;
• Enforces patents against purported infringers without itself intending to manufacture the patented product or supply the patented service;
• Enforces patents but has no manufacturing or research base;
• Focuses its efforts solely on enforcing patent rights; or
• Asserts patent infringement claims against non-copiers or against a large industry that is composed of non-copiers.

The controversy can be seen by comparing the views of those considered the trolls (the non-practicing entities with patent rights) to those who are sued by the trolls (often big companies). For instance, compare this to this. The former considers the notion of a patent troll to be a myth, while the latter describes patent trolls as “reprehensible.” For those of you looking for a side gig, you may consider talking to the silk-screeners of the Team Aniston and Team Jolie t-shirts during the Brangolina saga.

Regardless of where you fall on the Team Trolls versus Team Troll-Haters debate, a recent article suggests that patent trolls can mean big money for small firms….

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In case you might have forgotten, a summer clerkship at a law firm is a job. You are expected to be at work during normal business hours, to follow instructions, and to complete assignments. The fact that the firm may take you to concerts and fancy restaurants should not control how you perceive the summer clerkship experience. You must determine your priorities and plan accordingly. By far, the most frequent problems encountered by summer associates are the challenges presented by handling multiple assignments or meeting tough deadlines. This week’s Career Center Summer Associate Tips Series features advice on managing your assignments and deadlines from Lateral Link’s Frank Kimball, an expert recruiter and former Biglaw hiring partner.

Lawyers live in a world of deadlines — depositions must be taken, briefs must be filed, statutes of limitation will run, deals must be closed, and client presentations may be made. Some deadlines change unexpectedly. Others are immutable. Before tackling any assignment, you must understand the relevant deadlines….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Career Center: Blown Deadlines & Mismanaged Assignments (Or Things to Do to Not Get a Permanent Offer)”

Christine Quinn

As we all await a vote on gay marriage in New York, the New York Observer came out with a wonderful list: the 50 most powerful gay people in New York. They’ve called them “power gays,” and that, my friends, is just fun to say. Here, I’ll use it in a scene.

OLD GUY: Is that guy over there… a gay?
ELIE: No. He’s a POWER gay.

The number one most powerful gay person in New York is City Council Speaker Christine Quinn. That makes sense. Christine Quinn could well be the next mayor of New York City, and unlike other potential NYC mayoral candidates, she doesn’t have a penis that can be photographed and disseminated over Twitter.

But, more relevant for our purposes, the power gays include a number of lawyers….

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Moshe Gerstein

The nauseating story of Moshe Gerstein has come to an abrupt end. Gerstein, who had been accused of possessing violent child pornography, has been found dead.

The allegations against Gerstein — who worked at Gibson Dunn and Skadden — were particularly disturbing. Gerstein was accused of stockpiling thousands of images of brutal child porn.

But he pleaded not guilty and was due to appear in court yesterday.

Instead, his obituary ran in The Republican today.

That obit is light on details, but an Above the Law source has attempted to shed some more light on the situation…

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Many law school graduates are wondering how they can make themselves more marketable in light of their dismal job prospects. Hell, even graduates from elite law schools are having trouble finding jobs these days.

What can these would-be lawyers do to help themselves land a respectable job?

Some of these people are actually so desperate they believe that getting even more legal education will solve their employment woes. Maybe, just maybe, they think, an LLM from a better school will help them wipe the sub-T14 sludge off their résumés. Of course, money is no object, because really, after throwing $150,000 at a wall and hoping that it sticks, another couple thousand dollars is just a drop in the bucket.

But don’t sign up for that LLM just yet, because the masterminds at the University of Texas School of Law may have a solution for you. Education is the key, but it’s not the kind of education that you’d expect….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Deep in the Heart of Texas, Where Lawyers Go to School to Become Paralegals”

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