I will always remember the first time I ate sushi. I was pretty grossed out at the idea of eating raw fish (that’s what she said), but my friends told me that I had to try it because it was “oh my God, sooooo good.” I then learned that I should always take my friends’ advice when it comes to trying new food, because I was hooked.
It might have taken me a while to master the art of using chopsticks, but I love sushi. I’d actually go so far as to say I’m obsessed with it.
But when I hear that people are getting “special sauce” with their sushi rolls, it makes me happy I learned how to make sushi myself this year….
Late one night in the summer of 2008, Susan Deprado had a craving for sushi. One of the best things about living in Manhattan is that many restaurants will serve sushi until 3 a.m. or later. And some of those restaurants will even deliver takeout after midnight.
So Deprado hopped on Seamless and ordered some tuna rolls with spicy sauce on the side from Planet Sushi on the Upper West Side. She must have been eager for the food to arrive, because as soon as it did, she dug right in.
After taking a bite, Deprado knew something was fishy. Eater NY has got the details on what allegedly happened next:
[Deprado] states that she noticed something amiss upon first tasting the sushi, after having dipped a piece of the tuna roll into the sauce, and that she spit part of the roll out but swallowed about half of the bite.
Not surprisingly, she claims she got “sick to her stomach,” called 911, and was taken by ambulance to St. Luke’s/Roosevelt Hospital complaining of nausea and stomach cramps.
So what made Deprado so sick? Apparently she figured out what was in Planet Sushi’s special sauce: semen. I think I just vomited in my mouth a little bit. That’s nasty.
Know what else is nasty? The fact that this woman is so familiar with the taste of semen that she can pick it out from her spicy sauce at will. For someone with such a pornographic palate, I’m surprised she couldn’t make up her mind between spitting and swallowing.
Patron-cum-plaintiff Deprado is now suing the restaurant because of her “physiological and psychological injuries.” She claims she can’t eat sushi anymore, which is sad, because it “had been her favorite food.” (And mine, too, but her discriminating tastes suggest that something a little more phallic is what really gives her a foodgasm.)
The suit actually survived a motion to dismiss last week. The basis of that motion? Spoliation of evidence. The evidence was already spoiled, if you ask me, but Judge Arthur Engoron decided that the show must go on.
We here at Above the Law look forward to seeing the money shot if this case goes to trial.
Woman Accuses Planet Sushi of Adding Semen to Spicy Sauce [Eater NY]
UWS Woman: My Sushi Sauce Had Semen In It! [Gothamist]
Judge Decides Not To Throw Out Semen Sushi Suit [KTLA]
Mealbreakers: Sushi Sauce Contained Semen, Woman’s Lawsuit Claims [Huffington Post]