Here at Above the Law, we know that lawyers like detailed instructions for completing even the simplest of tasks. It follows that the future lawyers of America need similar instruction. Recall that law students at Cardozo Law School needed to be told how to walk in the snow.
It’s the beginning of a new school year, and starting fresh at law school is hard. So, if you think walking is tough, just imagine the anxiety that law students across the country were confronted with when they received their locker assignments.
These kids must have so much pent up post-traumatic stress from getting shoved into their lockers in high school that they repressed the ability to use combination locks. Where do these students go to law school, and what is the school doing to assist them?
It looks like these locker-challenged law students go to the Washington University School of Law in St. Louis, Missouri. So many students had trouble opening their lockers that the school had to send out an instructional email to all students, complete with a video clip. The memo from WUSTL Law has been reprinted in full at the end of this post.
Seriously? You guys needed a memo and a video to figure this out? For a top 20 law school, that’s pretty sad. This isn’t exactly rocket science. I mean, come on, even I can do it.
But the WUSTL Law memo must’ve leaked, because a student at another highly-ranked law school learned not only how to use a combination lock, but also how to confiscate another law student’s locker. The situation quickly devolved into passive-aggressive note time at Duke Law School:
“I do not want to have to commit a tort against you.” Oh yeah, this is definitely from a 1L.
Whoever stole this locker should probably do what the note says, and turn over the goods. The writer is liable to tattle on you to the administration, and no one needs a school-wide email on how to follow the tenets of “sharing is caring.”
WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY SCHOOL OF LAW — HOW TO OPEN YOUR LOCKER
Many of you have had trouble figuring out how to work the combination lock that is on your assigned locker. Please follow these instructions:
1) Start by turning the dial on the lock until the “0” meets the mark above the dial.
2) Turn the dial clockwise to the first number of your combination.
3) Now, turn the dial counter-clockwise to the next number of your combination. Once you meet this number, pass it and keep turning the dial counter-clockwise until you again meet up with this number again. Then stop.
4) Finally, turn the dial clockwise to meet the last number of your combination.
Or, you can go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kmx4WCAj77A for a video on how to open a combination lock.
If you are still having trouble, please come see me and I can help.
Academic Services Coordinator