Remember Venus Springs? She’s the former Mayer Brown associate who alleged discrimination and filed a Title VII complaint against the firm after being fired in September 2008. Well, she’s back, and she’s brought a whole new lawsuit to the table.

So, who is Springs suing this time, and what are her allegations? We’ll give you that information, plus the details of the benchslap associated with her latest case, after the jump….

Springs is suing Ally Financial, Inc., formerly known as GMAC, Inc., for — you guessed it — another racially-related claim. Springs alleges that she was wrongfully terminated in retaliation for having filed her Title VII suit against Mayer Brown.

(Recall that in her first Title VII suit, Springs claimed that she was “forced to take a job that paid significantly less and was outside her field of work.” Did she ever consider that Ally might be ticked off by that characterization?)

Venus Springs

Springs, yet again, is representing herself in the case. The 24-page document (available here) is remarkably long, and laced with diatribes about financial conspiracies (“Defendants never told Plaintiff that the Defendant Ally was at risk of collapse if the Defendant US Treasury did not bail it out using taxpayer money.”), men with too-strong handshakes (“He greeted her by squeezing her hand and shaking her arm almost to the point of shoulder dislocation….”), and even a dangerous plot twist (“She packed her pepper spray and an audio recording device because she was anticipating a physical assault or some other absolutely devastating result.”).

It reads more like a crime drama for teens penned by a first-time author than a legal document. The judge on the case, Bernard A. Friedman, took note of the colorful complaint, and responded like so:

Highly repetitive? Check.
Confused? Check.
Consisting of incomprehensible rambling? Check.

Springs’s original complaint against Mayer Brown was only ten pages long. It seems like Springs, who has opened her own firm, has had some time to reflect on the alleged wrongs committed against her. As the saying goes, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, so that may explain why her complaint against Ally Financial sounds like a more elegant version of Hot 93.7’s Tell ‘Em Why You Mad segment.

If Springs isn’t successful in her claims against Mayer Brown and Ally, she can probably look forward to a career in writing novels for teens. Protip: include some sparkly vampires in your next crime drama, and you’ll be set for life. We’ll let you know when her first book drops, Twilight fans.

Springs v. Mayer Brown LLP, et al. [U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Michigan]
Springs v. Mayer Brown LLP, et al.: Order to Amend Complaint [U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Michigan]

Earlier: Title VII Suit Against Mayer Brown