Art, Career Alternatives, Weirdness

Career Alternatives for Attorneys: Vampire?

Lawyers, have you been looking for a unique way to do some self-branding? Of course, we don’t mean that you should literally brand yourself, but this Mexican lawyer did just that. She turned herself into a walking piece of art, and is now known as the “Vampire Woman” by her colleagues in the tattoo and body modification industry.

We know what you must be thinking: “Aren’t female vampires supposed to be sexy?” That might be the case on True Blood, but we’re not so sure about this girl. They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but the Vampire Woman’s look makes us wonder whether she’s capable of keeping clients from running out of her office screaming. Don’t believe us? See for yourself….

Meet Maria Jose Cristerna, a 35-year-old lawyer from Guadalajara, Mexico. According to ABC 7 News, Cristerna began her transformation into the Vampire Woman after leaving an abusive marriage. ITN had some color commentary to offer on Cristerna, whose body is tattooed almost in its entirety (98% of it, in fact):

It’s not unusual for lawyers to be known as bloodsuckers, especially by those on the losing end of their courtroom pleas, but this really takes the biscuit.

So what does Cristerna look like? Check it out:

What did Cristerna look like in her pre-vampire days? Sink your teeth into this before and after picture:

This human coloring book needs a make-under. Our tipster quips, “So what kinda firm does this lawyer work at? Tattoo discrimination firm?” We imagine that it might be hard for someone who looks like Cristerna to get a job at a traditional firm, so for the sake of her bank account, we hope that she’s a solo practitioner.

Maria, if you’re looking for another tattoo, might we recommend, “Yo soy la ley”?

Extreme tattooing: Meet Mexico’s ‘Vampire Woman’ [ITN]
Maria Jose Cristerna “Mexican Vampire Woman” [Suite World]
Venezuela tattoo expo showcases ‘Vampire Woman’ [ABC 7 News]

(hidden for your protection)

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