Election 2012, Fashion, Fashion Is Fun, Fashion Victims Unit, Lunacy, Patton Boggs, Politics

Michele Bachmann: Out of the Race, But Still in Our Hearts

Earlier this morning, former IRS tax attorney and Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann held a press conference to announce that she’d be dropping out of the race. Although she won the Iowa straw poll in August, with a percentage of votes in the single digits, she placed sixth during last night’s caucuses. In her concession speech, Bachmann stated that “[l]ast night the people of Iowa spoke with a very clear voice.” They sure did: they told her to STFU. Not even her high-powered lawyers from Patton Boggs could save her.

Let’s face it, she did the honorable thing. Unlike Rick Perry, who announced that he’d be going back to Texas to cry “reassess his campaign,” Bachmann grew a pair and decided end her embarrassment — but she has “no regrets, none whatsoever.”

It really is a shame that she decided to call it quits, because people love Michele Bachmann. Although she looks like a semi-retarded deer caught in headlights in her Newsweek cover, she’s usually one of the more attractive women in American politics.

She’s like Sarah Palin, but dumber, and with an inept stylist. With that said, we present you with a recap of Bachmann’s finest moments on the campaign trail….

Bachmann’s “Crazy Eyes” Newsweek Cover
In the magazine cover that earned her the nickname “Crazy Eyes,” Bachmann proved to us that sometimes even Photoshop and airbrushing can’t help you. The horrendous photo made its rounds on the internet and soon became a meme for all to enjoy in Hot Chicks with Michele Bachmann’s Eyes. Exhibit A: Kim Kardashian.

Bachmann’s Zany Style Choices
Who lets a candidate go to a debate looking like a sailor? Who lets a candidate go to a debate wearing a Wilma Flintstone-esque necklace? Her husband, that’s who. Apparently, Marcus “Pray the Gay Away” Bachmann does all of her shopping and coordinates her outfits. Here’s a hint: before you “cure” more men of their homosexuality, please let them dress your wife.

Bachmann’s Numerous Factual Flubs
One thing can be said for sure: Bachmann really needed an intern during this presidential campaign — an intern who knew how to use Google. She’s made some pretty wacky statements, and Business Insider has compiled a list of the nine craziest things she’s ever said.

Bachmann’s campaign proceeded like it took the HPV vaccine, but at least it ended in an evolved manner. She might be gone, but her crazy eyes will be staring at you for a long time.

Michele Bachmann drops out of GOP race [CBS News]
Michele Bachmann Drops Out of Presidential Race [ABC News]

Earlier: As A Lawyer, Bachmann Worked For The Tax Collectors
Candidates For President And The Law Firms That Love Them

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