Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and for some people, it represents a time to serenade a sweetheart, pop bottles of champagne, and stare dreamily into the eyes of Mr. or Ms. Right (or Right Now, as the case may be). For others, Valentine’s Day is a time of loneliness and despair — angry, bitter lawyers, we’re looking at you — where only the commiseration of other single friends can lift one’s spirits.
For others still, Valentine’s Day is a time to ponder how their spouse got so fat, and why they decided to marry such an obnoxious, sniveling idiot. For the last category of those who will be
celebrating lamenting Valentine’s Day this year, we’ve got a possible salve for your marital woes.
As we mentioned in Morning Docket, those who hope to dodge Cupid’s arrows this year can enter a contest in the hopes of winning a free divorce. There’s just one catch….
The Webb Law Firm will give away a free divorce to the person who presents the most compelling story as to why they deserve a free divorce.
For the winner, Webb said, it will not be Valentine’s Day; it will be their Independence Day.
The free Valentine’s Day divorce is a way for a West Virginia resident to get out of a bad marriage that they could not get out of before.
The solo practitioner behind this contest, which is currently in its fifth year of existence, is Charles R. Webb, but he prefers to go by “Rusty.” How very quaint and backwoods of him. A graduate of West Virginia University College of Law, Webb is also known for his daily commute to the office, which consists of a two-mile bike ride followed by a two-mile kayak excursion. That’ll be a great story for the grandkids: “When I was your age, I used to kayak two miles against the current to get to work!”
Getting back to Webb’s free Valentine’s Day divorce, here are the rules and regulations if you’re interested in throwing your hat into the ring for this “public service” contest:
The divorce is limited to an uncontested, no-fault divorce with no or minimal child custody issues. The contest will begin immediately. The winner will be announced via press release on Valentine’s Day of each year. While the service is free, the winner will be responsible for all fees, costs and expenses associated with the divorce. The divorce is limited to divorces with jurisdiction in West Virginia.
That sounds simple enough. Last year, Webb awarded the free divorce to a woman who impressed him with her “creative and humorous description of her husband.” Just imagine all the fun that could be had by filling out the entry form (available here) for this unique competition.
Why not give it a shot? But folks, please remember, this is being sponsored by a law firm in West Virginia. You have to be a resident of that state to win the prize. And even though the divorce is free, you’ll still have to see your ex at family functions… because she’s probably your cousin.
The Law Offices of Rusty Webb [Webb Law Firm]
Law firm giving away a free divorce for Valentine’s Day [Charleston Daily Mail]
Charleston attorney continues fifth annual free Valentine’s Day divorce [West Virginia Record]