I thought it might be fun to try something different for this week’s post. A lot of people post top ten lists to give some semblance of organization to an otherwise random set of ideas, so I thought, “Well heck, we, too, can play at that game!” Thus, a top ten list was conceived for things that make us think, “Toto, we’re not in Biglaw anymore.”
That being said, You Know You Work In-House If….
10. Your workplace takes the annual Best Halloween Costume contest very seriously, even more seriously than it takes the annual Pimp Your Cubicle contest.
9. No more billable hours nonsense — woohoo! Instead, you have analysts’ expectations, cost containment, and mood swings that match your company’s stock fluctuations — boo!
8. You’ve heard “corporate” and “process” used as dirty words.
7. Your internal business clients don’t seem to realize that human resources, risk, and compliance are actually other departments in the company. You also play the role of copy editor from time to time.
6. You use the phrase, “that’s a business decision,” all the time — it often serves both as a source of refuge, as well as a source of frustration.
5. Law firms pretend to care about you. You’re okay with that. You pretend to care back. The system works well this way.
4. The number of law firm hours billed on a deal is inversely proportional to your level of happiness.
3. You’re concerned that your attention-to-detail edits to a document may be perceived as a bad thing by your business clients.
2. You believe that your company’s competitors are evil.
1. You get so many emails referring to you as the “council” for your company, you’re beginning to wonder whether you’ve spelled it wrong on your own business cards.
Susan Moon is an in-house attorney at a travel and hospitality company. Her opinions are her own and not those of her company. Also, the experiences Susan shares may include others’ experiences (many in-house friends insist on offering ideas for the blog). You can reach her at [email protected] and follow her on Twitter at @SusanMoon.