Abortion, Animal Law, Money, Pictures, Public Interest, Women's Issues

PETA Offers to Spay and Neuter Tucker Max

Another organization that is certainly worthy of Tucker Max’s half-million has stepped up to the plate. This organization wants Max’s money badly, so badly that its executives have turned around to take it like a desperate dog in heat....

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EMAIL TO TUCKER MAX FROM INGRID NEWKIRK – PETA WILL TAKE TUCKER MAX’S MONEY

Dear Mr. Max,

I am writing on behalf of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) and our more than 3 million members and supporters with a proposition we hope you’ll like. Having heard about Planned Parenthood’s rejection of your offer, we’d like to propose an alternative way that you can help prevent unwanted pregnancies, receive a tax break, and put your name proudly on a clinic—perhaps along with a picture of you and your dog! We would like to purchase a brand-new mobile spay-and-neuter truck and name it “Fix Your Bitches! The Tucker Max No-Cost to Low-Cost Spay and Neuter Clinic.” The truck would cost just shy of $400,000 (delivered fully equipped) and give us $100,000 in leftover funds to spend on veterinary fees—if you are willing to spend the same amount you were offering Planned Parenthood.

Since 2001, our mobile clinics have helped prevent the births of hundreds of thousands of unwanted cats and dogs. In fact, PETA spays and neuters more than 800 dogs and cats every month in some of the most impoverished areas of North Carolina and lower Virginia. We assist owners who have a hard time paying their utility bills, are without transportation of any kind, and often live in trailer parks. One of our mobile clinics is on its last legs (it’s in the repair shop more than it’s on the road), so this would be a huge help.

Two of our clinics currently display images of Simon Cowell and Ron Artest. Please see this mock-up of what the Tucker Max clinic could look like, complete with the “Fix Your Bitches!” slogan and an image of you hugging a dog.

Millions of dogs and cats must be euthanized every year because people continue to let them breed when there are not enough homes to go around. Most end up in shelters—others are left to fend for themselves on the streets, where they are often subjected to cruelty, suffer from starvation or diseases, or are hit by cars.

Dogs and cats may “sleep” with more mates “than is safe or reasonable”—but unlike us, they can’t unwrap a condom. Will you help us provide this essential form of birth control? Thank you for considering this.

Sponsored

Very truly yours,

Ingrid E. Newkirk
President

cc: Ian Claudius and Ryan Holiday

Earlier: The Trials and Tribulations of Tucker Max: Did He Try to Pull a Fast One on Planned Parenthood?
Tucker Max: Too Douchey for a $500K Donation?

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