Art, Depositions, Rudeness

Things That Might Get You Thrown Off a Case: Drawing Dick Pics During Depositions at Dunkin’ Donuts

When it comes to the madness that ensues during the deposition process, we really thought that we had seen it all. We’ve seen witnesses curse at the questioners. We’ve seen a deponent tell an attorney to “suck [his] dick.” We’ve even seen a former Biglaw partner call his opposing counsel an “ignorant slut.” But we’ve never seen something like this.

Apparently when attorneys in Florida get bored during depositions, they turn to their artistic side to get their creative juices flowing. Because there’s nothing like a great dick pic to bring your attention back to the case at hand….

Let’s list the main players before we dig in. Richard Celler and Stacey Schulman are attorneys with Morgan & Morgan, a firm a tipster referred to as a “Florida giant.” Apparently their behavior was too much for opposing counsel Jason Coupal to handle, because he complained to the court that they had “systematically engaged in inappropriate and offensive behavior.”

Celler’s and Schulman’s alleged actions were so egregious that they (along with additional claimed misconduct) served as the basis for a disqualification ruling. Judge Cecilia Altonaga (S.D. Fla.) disqualified Celler, Schulman, and their entire firm from representing plaintiffs in a class action suit. The Riptide blog of the Miami New Times has the details (via South Florida Lawyers):

Among [Celler’s] most egregious crimes were drawing dick pictures, playing Angry Birds and choosing Dunkin’ Donuts for the site of depositions.

Here’s a more lengthy account of the attorneys’ “deplorable behavior,” from Judge Altonaga’s Order:

Playing Angry Birds is one thing, but drawing dick pics is quite another. How bored do you have to be to resort to drawing pictures of penises? We thought that men — well, teenage boys, actually — only did that in movies like “Superbad.” (Speaking of which, here’s a compilation of penis cartoons for your viewing pleasure).

At the very least, we hope that Celler made use of captions on his penis pictures of opposing counsel, like so:

Bedoya v. Aventura Limousine Order [U.S. District Court for the Southern District of Florida]
“Yes Your Honor, I Scheduled a Deposition at a Donut Shop, Wore T-Shirts and Shorts, and Drew Pictures of Opposing Counsel as a Penis — Is There a Problem?” [South Florida Lawyers]
Lawyers Thrown Off Case For Drawing Dick Pics, Playing Angry Birds During Deposition
[Riptide / Miami New Times]

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