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Comment of the Week: My Three Biggest Fears

We’ve got some major news since our last installment of the Comment of the Week series: the first winner out of four rounds of the competition has claimed his prize. Congratulations again to guest9999999, who proved that at least one person reads these columns. I suppose we’ve got to cherish the small things in life.

This week, when choosing our top comment, we decided to go with one from a post that all of the Above the Law editors thought was pretty funny, but in the end, the topic apparently made our readers believe that I was even dumber than they had originally thought — as if such a thing were even humanly possible.

Of course, I’m talking about the Cooley Law shoeshiner post….

You literally have no idea how difficult it is to correspond politely with a person who you know is trying to troll you. But far be it from me to act rudely towards our readers. I always try to play nicely, regardless of what kind of names I’m being called, or what’s being said to or about me. C’est la blogging vie, right?

As it turns out, I did make a noble effort to “verify” whether this shoe shine boy was “for real” while laughing all the while. Unfortunately, even though he claims to be in New York, our little Cooley troll just didn’t want to stop by the Above the Law offices, no matter how nicely (or repeatedly) I asked. Too bad, because he missed the opportunity to hang out with Lat and Elie.

Without further ado, here’s ur not 2 bright’s winning comment (measuring in with 67 Disqus likes):

Next week’s article:

Hey guys! I just got an email from man in Nigeria who wants me to help him bring money to the US! We are trying to schedule a telephone interview or in-person meeting with him to figure out if he is for real. But for now, here is the string of emails:

From: Nigerian
Sent: Sun, Jun 17, 2012 at 2:40 PM
Subject: help with money

oh hello sir. i am offering to split my inheritace of $40000000 USD with you if you just send me your bank account info and social security number.

From: Staci Zaretsky
Sent: Sunday, June 17, 2012 3:17 PM
Subject: Re: help with money

Hi there!
Sure thing! My bank account info is as follows XXXXXXXXXXXXX.
Also, my social security number is XXXXXXX, my home address is XXXXXX, and here is a schedule of hours I am home alone, as well as a list of my three biggest fears…..

Don’t be silly. No one wants access to my bank account — it’s quite modest. And for the record, my three biggest fears at this point in my life are as follows:

1) Never being able to overcome my extreme test-taking anxiety so that I can finally pass the bar exam.
2) Not being able to lose enough weight for my wedding and looking like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Bride.
3) Dying in some sort of a freak accident that involves a bridge collapse like in Final Destination 5.

There you have it. If you’re ur not 2 bright, please send us your contact information via email so we can send you a t-shirt.

Earlier: Cooley Law Grad or Troll… Is There Even a Difference? (C/O ’93 Grad Claims He’s Employed as a Shoeshiner)

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