It’s really hard giving up things you like — things like cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs — but when the time comes, and that time will come, you’ve got to do it, and sometimes you won’t even have choice in the matter. Perhaps you don’t have the money to finance your vices anymore. Perhaps you’ve decided you have an addiction, and it’s time to seek help. Or maybe you’re facing jail time, and a judge is offering you a way out.

But again, it’s really hard giving up things you like. Like really, really hard. So hard, that when pressed to give up, say, smoking pot, you’d ask a judge if you could have one more joint before you quit. Come on, judge, it’s just one more, what’s the big deal?

Well, contrary to popular belief, it is a big deal when you ask a judge’s permission to smoke weed when you’re in her courtroom on a drug trafficking charge….

The Cincinnati Enquirer describes the scene that unfolded earlier this week in an Ohio courtroom. A young defendant, Damaine Mitchell, was before Judge Melba Marsh on a marijuana trafficking charge, and he was looking at up to a year and a half behind bars. But Judge Marsh, the kind woman that she is, offered this troubled 19-year-old a life line — if he stopped smoking the reefer, she’d make sure he wouldn’t go to jail, and would even have the crime expunged from his record. That sounds like a great deal, doesn’t it?

Well, sure, but Mitchell was having a hard time wrapping his mind around the fact that he’d have to give up his ganja. “That’s going to be hard for me to do, to be honest with you,” he said. “That’s going to be a challenge. I like smoking weed. I have been smoking weed since I was like 10 years old.” Ah, a seasoned drug user.

Judge Marsh thought if she started listing potential deadlines for Mitchell to stop getting high, then he’d see that it wasn’t such a big deal. Hmm, let’s see, Thanksgiving is next week, could he stop toking for a week? Hell no, he didn’t want to miss out on the munchies. Fine. Does Christmas work? Apparently Mitchell asked Santa to slip a vaporizer under the tree, so that wasn’t a good time for him. New Year’s, then? Haha, bitch, please. Dear Lord, how about Valentine’s Day? “I won’t want to,” Mitchell said. You see, his heart belongs to Mary Jane.

The judge must’ve been frustrated at that point, so Mitchell offered up a compromise he thought she’d be amenable to — after all, marijuana is now legal for recreational use in two states. Besides, she seemed cool:

Damaine Mitchell

Then Mitchell made the unusual request. He’d be willing to try to quit – if she would approve of what amounted to government-sanctioned drug use.

“I know this is probably not the right question to ask (but) can I get a little time at least (to) get one more joint in,” he asked the judge.

The judge refused.

“No. You can’t have one more joint for old time’s sake,” she said.

Damn. Well, you can’t fault the guy for trying. Maybe he thought this was like a scene from Oliver, and he just wanted more gruel another spliff. “Please, judge, I want some more.” That seems innocent enough.

Judge Marsh, on the other hand, was understandably shocked and astonished: “That’s the first time I’ve ever had a request for marijuana while they’re serving time in jail.” There’s a first time for everything, especially when you’re dealing with a defendant who’s been smoking weed since it was cool to watch Power Rangers.

Next time, kid, just make sure that you smoke two joints before you smoke two joints, and then you should go ahead and smoke two more. You’ll be so high you won’t even think it’s a good idea to ask a judge for a joint.

Man asks judge if he can smoke one more joint [Cincinnati Enquirer]


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