It’s December, and you know what that means: it’s time to deck the halls with boughs of holly, and offer jobs to law students that will make them fa-la-la-la-laugh their indebted little asses off.

It’s been a while since we last wrote about the ridiculous jobs law professors try to pawn off on students, but at least this one isn’t offering up an adventures in babysitting gig. No, this time, a law professor caught a whiff of the holiday spirit, and is offering students the chance to get involved with their very own holly jolly Christmas.

Perhaps the eggnog this law prof was drinking had a little too much whiskey in it, because you’d have to be drunk to think it was a good idea to offer up a job that offers no legal experience whatsoever….

On the first day of Christmas, my law prof gave to me, a lame job opportunity…

This email came to us courtesy of a Willamette University law student who reported that this illustrious holiday employment opportunity was sent to every single student attending the school by the professor in question:

From: [Employment Grinch]
Date: Thu, Dec 6, 2012 at 12:18 PM
Subject: [lawstu] Paying Position
To: lawstu@willamette.edu

I need a personal assistant to help with activities including errands, organization, Christmas gift-wrapping and mailing. Flexible hours (10-15) during the next 2 weeks. $15/hr.

***************
[Employment Grinch]
Professor of Law,
Willamette University College of Law
[employment.grinch]@willamette.edu
Ph. 503-370-xxxx
Fax 503-370-xxxx
************************************

Come on, you know you went to law school to get experience wrapping Christmas gifts for someone else, right? Oh, that’s not what you went to law school to do. Hmm. Well, that poses a problem, now doesn’t it? And please, before you sound off on how the professor was merely offering up an avenue for students to make some quick cash during the semester, you must realize how depressing this is for law students. The professor should have just posted this on Craigslist or some other general job board instead.

There are likely some law students at Willamette who are so desperate for job opportunities — any job opportunities at all — that this probably seems like a plum chance to add a law professor’s name to their résumé. Maybe they’ll try to jazz it up with some fancy-sounding title like “executive personal assistant,” but even that would be embarrassing when one of the primary duties is being a Christmas gift-wrapping bitch.

Study hard for your finals, folks, or else you may be condemned to a life of gift-wrapping after you graduate.


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