Some say that models and bottles should be included in a lawyer’s employment benefits package, but failing that, VIP treatment at the local strip club comes in a close second. You just have to make sure you’re getting these perks on the down low, or else you might find yourself in the unemployment line.
That said, if you’re interested in potentially having to fish dollar bills out of your g-string as an alternative career due to your sudden joblessness, then perhaps you should consult with Ari Pregen, an assistant state attorney from Florida. Well, actually, that was his job before he got fired.
You see, when you walk into a strip club and expect to be treated like a king just because you’re a lawyer, you’re going to get yourself into some trouble when your superiors find out about it….
The Riptide 2.0 blog of the Miami New Times has the scoop on this titty bar tale of woe:
Ari Pregen picked the wrong strip club to throw his weight around. On January 26, the Miami-Dade assistant state attorney gained free admission for himself and two pals into downtown Miami’s Goldrush by flashing his work badge at the titty bar’s executive manager Jeff Levy. A few hours later, Pregen again whipped out his law enforcement credentials so he wouldn’t have to pay a 15 percent credit card surcharge on lap dances he purchased.
Pregen, a graduate of St. Thomas University School of Law who’s been described as a “a frattish looking prosecutor fresh out of law school,” apparently repeated his antics the following week. FYI, if you’re trying to impress your friends by making yourself out to be a legal baller with prosecutorial perks, it’ll certainly help if your behavior is a little less “douchetastic,” bro.
But wait, this story gets even better. Levy, the strip club’s manager, filed an official complaint against Pregen. Of course, Pregen said that he hadn’t done anything wrong when he was confronted by his superiors on February 7, but the head honchos at his office were one step ahead of him. Apparently the powers that be at the Miami-Dade State Attorney’s Office belong to the school of “pics or it didn’t happen” — and obtained from Levy a still shot of Pregen flashing his badge while inside the club. Here’s what happened next:
On February 8, for the second time in two days, Pregen falsely denied acting a fool and abusing his position. “Because we had proof that Mr. Pregen’s assertions were false and we found his statements not to be credible, Mr. Pregen was terminated,” [Lorna Salomon, senior employment counsel] wrote.
In this economy, it’s hard out here for a would-be pimp, and when Pregen learned that his time on the main stage with the State Attorney’s Office was up, he penned a pitiful apology note, complete with lines like, “I wish I could take it back,” “This job means everything to me,” and “I am unbelievably ashamed of myself.”
Sorry pal, but you made your bed in the surcharge-free champagne room, and now you’ve got to lie in it — or grind on it for your rent money, as the case may be. You won’t be making it rain subpoenas any time soon.
Check out Levy’s complaint, Pregen’s termination letter, and Pregen’s apology on the following pages….