February 2013
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American Bar Association / ABA, Biglaw, Law Schools, Money, Morning Docket, Murder, Partner Issues, Partner Profits
Morning Docket: 02.22.13
* Law School Transparency? Nay, Biglaw Transparency! Peter Kalis, global managing partner of K&L Gates, just opened the kimono wide on his firm’s financial performance in an “unusually detailed” fashion. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]
* Talk about a pain in the pocketbook: according to American Lawyer, profits per partner and revenues are slowly swirling down the drain at several Biglaw firms, with shrinkage of 16 percent in PPP at one firm. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]
* The ABA is just now thinking of trying to find someone who will audit the graduate employment data that law schools release each year. Gee, it only took 15 fraud lawsuits to get the ball rolling. [National Law Journal]
* Oh my God, you guys, carrying six figures of law school debt on your shoulders is “unsustainable” in the long run, especially when your salary sucks. This is new information that no one’s heard before. [News-Gazette]
* Former U.S. Attorney Jim Letten is now Tulane Law’s new assistant dean for experiential learning. For the school’s sake, hopefully he’ll be able to control his students better than he did his AUSAs. [Tulane Hullabaloo]
* “You’re a cold-blooded murderer and I’ll stare you down until I die.” Drew Peterson was sentenced to 38 years in prison for the murder of his third wife. A sequel to the Lifetime movie is likely forthcoming. [Reuters]
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Law Schools, Media and Journalism, Rankings, Ridiculousness
National Jurist Needs To Delete Their Law School Rankings And Apologize To Us All For Wasting Our Time
National Jurist rankings are so bad they should apologize. - Sponsored
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Immigration, Labor / Employment, Magic Circle, Non-Sequiturs, Pepper Hamilton, Privacy, White-Collar Crime
Non-Sequiturs: 02.21.13
* A study finds that over 93 percent of attorneys, judges, and legal writing professors think the writing they’re reading is bad. One could argue this is evidence of a crisis in writing skills. Or one could argue that lawyers are a**holes who think every voice other than their own is wrong. It’s a 50/50 […]
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Antonin Scalia, Federal Government, Federal Judges, Freedom of Information Act / FOIA, Quote of the Day, SCOTUS, Supreme Court
Apparently Scalia Doesn't Hold the Government in Very High Regard These Days
Does the federal government do pointless things? That's what Justice Scalia seems to think. -
Boutique Law Firms, Small Law Firms
From Biglaw to Boutique: Recalculating
The harrowing tale of a lawyer trying to find a FedEx office and battling his GPS. -
Biglaw, john quinn, Money, Partner Issues, Partner Profits
Partner Profit Reports: Quinn Emanuel, Bingham, Perkins Coie
How did large law firms fare financially last year? Here are reports from Quinn Emanuel, Bingham, and Perkins Coie. -
California, Job Searches, Small Law Firms, Solo Practitioners
Hey, Ladies: The Legal Baller Is Hiring Again
Want to work for a "legal baller" -- or better yet, find out what a "legal baller" is? -
Law Professors, Law School Deans, Law Schools, Money
The Dean's Office: Three Questions About Legal Education
Dean David Yellen explores some of law schools' most critical challenges: capacity, cost, and quality. - Sponsored
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Biglaw, Perks / Fringe Benefits, Rankings
Biglaw Perk Watch: Law Firm 401k Rankings
Is your firm's 401k plan among the best in the industry? No? Take to the barricades, my comrades! -
Law Schools
Wearing A Class Ring From Your Law School Is An Expensive Way To Advertise That You Are A Loser Who Has No Friends
Buying a class ring from your law school is nearly incomprehensible. -
Attorney Misconduct, Legal Ethics, Nude Dancing, Unemployment
Florida Prosecutor Who Used Badge For Strip Club Perks Is Stripped Of His Job
Rest assured that this strip club aficionado won't be making it rain subpoenas any time soon. -
Biglaw, Music, Partner Issues, Romance and Dating, Sweet Hot Justice
The Love Of A Woman Is More Valuable Than A Partnership At Skadden
A Skadden partner is giving it all up for the love of a woman. -
Antitrust, Bankruptcy, Barack Obama, Biglaw, California, Department of Justice, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Education / Schools, Election Law, Football, Gay, Gay Marriage, Mergers and Acquisitions, Midsize Firms / Regional Firms, Morning Docket, Nude Dancing, Rape, Sports, Women's Issues
Morning Docket: 02.21.13
* Even though Obama wants to “make sure that [he’s] not interjecting [himself] too much into this process,” the DOJ may still suggest that the Supreme Court overturn Proposition 8, California’s ban on gay marriage. [Associated Press]
* Anheuser-Busch InBev and the Department of Justice are cracking open a couple of cold ones to settle their differences over antitrust concerns with regard to the company’s planned purchase of Grupo Modelo. [DealBook / New York Times]
* It looks like Steve DiCarmine is being forced to take a break from his rigorous class schedule at Parsons to testify at a Dewey bankruptcy hearing next week. He’ll be happy to hear orange is in this spring. [Am Law Daily]
* Represented by Steptoe & Johnson, Jesse Jackson Jr. pleaded guilty to misusing $750,000 of his campaign funds for personal use. Most interesting purchase: Michael Jackson memorabilia. [Blog of Legal Times]
* When it comes to recruiting new talent, the ability to maintain a “collegial culture” is apparently a selling point for midsize law firms. And here we thought douchebaggery was the way to go. Sigh. [National Law Journal]
* Protip: do not flash your prosecutor’s badge to bypass cover charges and lap dance surcharges at the local strip club. You’re going to get fired. We’ll probably have more on this later. [Riptide 2.0 / Miami New Times]
* Don’t worry ladies, if you’re about to be raped, just pee or puke all over your attacker — or better yet, tell him that you’re on your period. Yeah, that’ll work. These tips are almost as good as “don’t dress like a slut.” [CNN]
* “[T]his is a ridiculous sideshow that’s horribly unbecoming to the parties involved.” The NCAA is now suing over a new Pennsylvania law designed to keep PSU’s Sandusky fines in the state. [San Francisco Chronicle]
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Britney Spears, Celebrities, Music, Romance and Dating
Britney Spears Is Kind Of Dating A Lawyer... Okay, Not Really
Britney Spears has a new beau, and he works at a law firm. Who is he? -
Constitutional Law, Drugs, Facebook, Health Care / Medicine, Law Professors, Marijuana, Non-Sequiturs, Politics
Non-Sequiturs: 02.20.13
* Palestinian prisoners are smuggling spooge out of prison to make babies on the outside. The article raises some fascinating legal and ethical questions, but thankfully fails to explain the logistics of the scheme. [Bill of Health / Harvard Law Petrie-Flom Center] * Florida is looking into the question of whether judges and attorneys can be Facebook friends. But it’s so useful to have real-time feedback of which arguments that judge is going to “Like.” [IT-Lex] * The government has indicted a lawyer on charges of bankrolling a synthetic marijuana operation. So real-life Kentucky is just like Justified Kentucky. [USA Today] * The defense of Oscar Pistorius springs back and has a good day. [Deadspin] * This article about KU Law Professor Stephen Ware’s arrest on domestic abuse charges sounds bad, but he’s actually a hero for putting together an elaborate and interactive issue-spotting exam for his final. [6 News Lawrence] * This will be fun. What are the weirdest constitutional arguments ever asserted in court? [Volokh Conspiracy] * Former Senator Pete Dominici admits that he’s the father of Vegas lawyer Adam Laxalt of Lewis and Roca. While a Senator for New Mexico, Dominici was nailing the daughter of Nevada Senator Paul Laxalt… just to be neighborly. [Reno Gazette-Journal] -
Books, Quote of the Day, Television, Videos
Emily Bazelon Makes Stephen Colbert Cry
Emily Bazelon thinks Stephen Colbert just might be a bully. -
Defamation, Law Schools, Police, Weirdness
Recent Law Graduate Returns To Campus, Causes A Scene, Is Reportedly Taken Away In Handcuffs
So a guy allegedly gets dragged away in cuffs and he's not even the craziest person to invade campus. -
Advertising, Shameless Plugs, This Is an Ad
Thanks to Our Advertisers
Above the Law extends thanks to its advertisers. -
Bloomberg, Career Alternatives, Drinking, Videos, YouTube
Career Alternatives for Attorneys: Craft Spirit Curators
How would like to sample unique artisanal spirits as part of your job? At a start-up company with seven figures in revenue? -
In-House Counsel, Litigators, Practice Pointers
House Rules: Are You Experienced...?
When a contract specialist gets a little full of themselves, it makes more work for everybody.