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If You Don’t ‘Like’ Your Student Loan Servicer on Facebook, You Will Default

With graduation fast approaching, maybe people are coming to the startling realization (what took you so long?) that they’re going to have to figure out a way to pay off their student loans. Sure, it was fun to have government monopoly money to play with while you were in law school — maybe you had a weekly shoegasm at DSW; maybe you repeatedly blew your wad at Game Stop — but now it’s time to face the music.

Unfortunately, when it comes to debt repayment, the soundtrack that’s playing on an infinite loop in your mind is from the shower scene in Psycho.

Whether or not you’ve got a job lined up, you know for sure that your starting salary is nowhere near high enough to allow you to both live indoors and make monthly payments to your loan servicer. You’re scared that you’re going to have to moonlight in retail, or worse yet, move back in with your parents.

All you know is that you really, really don’t want to default on your loans. Your credit will be shot. Your phone number will be scrawled on the bathroom walls at collections agencies. Your life’s work will be all for naught. What the hell are you going to do?

Don’t worry, friends. Your loan servicer has a secret to share on how to avoid the disaster of default….

We recently received a tip from someone who’s about to graduate into a job market that’s still pretty rough around the edges. His loan servicer, Great Lakes, sent him an email letting him know how he could successfully pay back his debts. Here’s his take on the absurd message he found in his inbox:

Who knew that all it took for me to pay back my loans was “liking” them on Facebook? I guess I can stop hunting for a job now.

Without further ado, here’s the image that served as the entire body of the email from Great Lakes:

It’s as simple as connecting on social media sites! This shouldn’t be too difficult for the Millennials.

P.S. You didn’t stop to think that you’d be less likely to default because you gave the company another way to hunt you down and harass you? Aww, that’s cute, but really, how embarrassing for you.

(hidden for your protection)

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