Celebrities, Depositions, Food, Minority Issues, Racism

And Now We Know Why Paula Deen Always Keeps Her Mouth Full

Turns out, Paula Dean is a lot less offensive when her mouth is so full of fats and carbs that nobody can understand her.

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Place eight metric tons of butter in large mixing bowl.
Add 16 kilos of salt.
Mix in buttermilk, meat product, and two eggs.
Fry in LOW FAT cooking oil.
Liquify.
Inject directly into carotid artery.
Serves one baby.

— Every Paula Deen recipe ever.

By now, many of you have heard about Paula Deen’s ridiculous deposition, in which she basically admitted that she’s a horrible racist who thinks slavery was funny. But since she made a career off of being a random woman who cooks like she thinks heart disease is funny, I already have a hard time taking anything she says seriously enough to be outraged by it.

So, how about this, I won’t act like Paula Deen’s views on a “perfect Southern wedding” speak for all Southerners, and Southerners won’t feel the need to reflexively defend the offensive and racist views of Paula Deen. It’s one thing to live in the South and like butter. It’s another thing to wish for a “bevy of tap dancing little n***ers” at your brother’s Southern wedding….

Here’s the backstory: Deen is being sued by former employee Lisa Jackson for being racist and sexist in the workplace. Deen was deposed on May 17th and the National Enquirer claims to have obtained a video copy of her deposition.

During the deposition, Deen allegedly admits that she uses the “n-word” and tells racist jokes. She also apparently re-told this story about how awesome it would be to have a wedding staffed by slaves. From Radar:

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And when asked if she wanted black men to play the role of slaves at a wedding she explained she got the idea from a restaurant her husband and her had dined at saying, “The whole entire waiter staff was middle-aged black men, and they had on beautiful white jackets with a black bow tie.

“I mean, it was really impressive. That restaurant represented a certain era in America…after the Civil War, during the Civil War, before the Civil War…It was not only black men, it was black women…I would say they were slaves.”

I don’t even know what to do with that. The nostalgic look back at the antebellum period where black men and women would just serve and dance around for her amusement is messed up.

Maybe her lawyer didn’t fully explain to her what a hostile work environment is really all about. Or maybe she just doesn’t fundamentally understand that black people have rights and stuff now. But this is a woman who doesn’t seem to understand why people get adult-onset diabetes. Asking her to appreciate the subtleties of pre- versus post-Civil War America is probably a bridge too far. It’s like someone showed her Jack Nicholson saying, “You’re goddamn right I ordered the Code Red,” right before she started answering questions.

I’m sure a lot of Southerners are saying, “Don’t let Paula Deen speak for the South.” I’m here to say, “Don’t let Paula Deen speak for fried foods.” Trust me, the Colonel would never say crap like this.

PAULA DEEN RACIST CONFESSIONS [National Enquirer]
Paula Deen Admits Using The N-Word & Making Racial Jokes In Explosive Deposition [Radar Online]

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